Love And War
by dsl261967
Summary: Happy New Year. Liam and Sebastian have finally taken the plunge. Now it's on to the Circle and an end to the ghosts of the past. Just in time to for Orlais is closing in. MHawke/Sebastian. Reviews welcome.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Sebastian Vael, former Prince of Starkhaven, drew rein at the top of the rise. Spread out below was a pretty little clearing with a small hut nestled amongst the trees. The gentle babble of the stream that flowed beside it, the twitter of birds, and the soft summer breeze all gave the place a very peaceful air. It almost made him regret his reason for being here. Almost.

It had been over a year since the Chantry of Kirkwall had been destroyed, killing the Grand Cleric and all the other innocent people inside. He had loved Elthina, she'd been like a mother to him, and that damned abomination had killed her and ignited a war. Worst of all had been Hawke's refusal to kill Anders for what he'd done. He'd considered the warrior a friend, had confided in him, and had been angered by the man's betrayal. He'd stormed off, threatening to return with an army and raze Kirkwall to the ground for that offense. He'd returned to Starkhaven, determined to carry out his threat.

Reality had come crashing in shortly after his ship docked in the harbor. He had gone to the palace expecting to be welcomed with open arms, but that hadn't happened. The nobles had become fond of his cousin Goran's rule. Goran had always been a bit of an idiot, but that just made it easier for the nobles to rule through him. Some were still loyal to his family, but the majority were less than pleased by his return. Those who were against his reclaiming the throne significantly outnumbered those who were loyal to him. The odds of him winning a war for the throne were slim, so he chose the wiser course and retreated. Gathering a small number of loyal guard, he'd left the city quietly at night.

With no throne to reclaim and no army to back him, he wasn't able to storm the city of Kirkwall to find Anders and dispense the justice he'd been denied. He sent spies to determine where the abomination might be hiding, only to find that he'd left with Hawke and the others. There were so many stories going about that it was impossible to discern the truth of what had happened after the destruction of the Chantry. So he was forced to wait yet again to exact his revenge.

It took several months, and more gold than he cared to think about, but he'd finally found out where Hawke and Anders had fled to. They were in Amaranthine, at Vigil's Keep, the Grey Warden base in Ferelden. He'd sailed there immediately and arrived just at the start of summer, only to find that the two he sought were long gone. So he'd been forced to spend more gold and more time searching.

Finally, he'd located them. They'd gone to ground near the Brecilian Forest, a place that Merrill was familiar with. At long last he would be able to carry out his promise and see justice done. A voice snapped him out of his reverie.

"Your Highness, someone approaches," Ser Reginald told him, pointing to a figure coming towards them up the hill.

Sebastian turned to look and soon recognized the figure: it was Fenris, the former elven slave from Tevinter, and one of Hawke's most devoted companions. He was in the right place. He waited until the elf was close enough to hear before calling out, "Where is he Fenris?"

Fenris said nothing until he was standing a few feet from the prince. "So, you've finally managed to find us," his voice showing no surprise at the prince's presence.

"You expected me?" Sebastian's brows went up in surprise.

A small smile curved the elf's lips, "Of course. We knew you were looking and wanted to make it easy for you."

"So both Hawke and Anders are waiting for me," the prince frowned. He suddenly wondered if perhaps he should have hired more men.

Fenris looked down at the ground, a frown marring his face. "Apparently, you don't know. I would have thought the Warden Commander would have told you."

"Told me what?"

He looked up at the prince and then motioned to him to dismount, "Follow me and I'll tell you about it."

Sebastian dismounted and then motioned his guards to stay put. He could see Reginald about to protest and held up a hand, "If they meant to attack me they would have done it. Hawke may have been a fool, but he's always acted with honor."

As soon as the prince fell into step with him, Fenris began to fill him in on the details of those last hours in Kirkwall. "Once we had succesfully stopped the Templars from destroying the Circle, we were confronted by Meredith. Hawke expected to be arrested by them, but he didn't care. He'd done what he'd set out to do: save the lives of the innocents in the Circle."

"I never expected you to side with mages," Sebastian stated flatly.

"I sided with Hawke," the elf retorted. "But, when I saw children as young as five cowering in fear and crying, I began to understand better his motivation. The Right of Annulment would have condemned them to death for no reason other than the circumstances of their birth. He couldn't allow that to happen, and neither could I."

"The Right of Annulment does allow for mitigating circumstances," the prince argued. "It does not say that every living soul must be killed. Meredith would not dare raise the ire of the Divine by killing children."

"She would have," Fenris stated flatly. "She wasn't in her right mind anymore. Instead of having Hawke arrested, she ordered her men to kill him. When Cullen refused and ordered her to stand down, she accused him and all the other templars of having succumbed to blood magic."

"That's crazy!"

"Exactly so," Fenris nodded. "It was then that we found out who Bartrand had sold the idol to. You know, the one found in the Deep Roads."

"If I remember right, it drove the dwarf insane," Sebastian frowned. "You say she had this idol?"

"She'd had a sword made out of it."

"So what happened then?" Sebastian asked eagerly. None of this had been talked about in Kirkwall.

"Cullen defied her and stood with us," Fenris smirked a little at the memory of that. "To say Meredith was pissed is an understatement. But, the battle was hard fought. It was in that last fight that I was suddenly glad that Anders was alive."

"How dare you defend his existence?" Sebastian came to a stop, glaring at the elf. "He killed Elthina, a kind and good soul, and who knows how many other innocents. He deserves death."

Fenris stood waiting calmly and patiently until the prince had finished. "I would have died, as would Cullen and Hawke, if not for Anders powers to heal and resurrect people. If not for him, Meredith may have won and all we had fought for would have been for nothing."

Sebastian frowned, "Meaning she would have pushed forward with the Right."

"Yes." When he was sure that the prince was done interrupting, he continued. "We won the fight and Cullen didn't try to stop us when we turned to leave. We didn't waste time getting out either. Aveline and Donnic got a few guards and helped us get to Isabella's ship. We set course for Amaranthine because we'd heard that Hawke's sister Bethany was here. She joined the Wardens, remember?"

"Yes, during the Deep Roads expedition." Sebastian looked sharply at the elf. "While all this is interesting, it still doesn't change my mind. Anders deserves to die for what he did. He can't place all the blame on that spirit that possesses him."

"No, nor did he try to," Fenris shook his head. "In fact, he begged Hawke to kill him. He said it was the only way to make sure that he never lost control like that again. Hawke refused, even though he knew that Anders was losing control more and more every day."

"I always suspected that Hawke was too infatuated with his rebel mage to do the right thing," Sebastian snapped.

"You know nothing Prince!" Fenris hissed, finally losing control of his anger. "He loved Anders and wasn't going to just throw that away without trying everything in his power to save him. Hawke was never one to just cast people aside because he didn't like or agree with the choices they made. Too bad you weren't as loyal," he finished scathingly.

Sebastian scowled and folded his arms, "I will not stand here and be judged by you."

"Hit a nerve did I?"

Sebastian took a deep breath to calm himself. "So, you came here seeking a cure?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yes," Fenris nodded and then continued walking. "Hawke wanted to see if there was some way to seperate Anders and Justice. So he sought the advice of a very old and wise mage named Wynne."

"She was with the Hero of Ferelden, and is also an adivsor at King Alistair's court."

"Now she is the First Enchanter of the Ferelden Circle," the elf continued. "She told us some things that we'd never even considered."

"Like what?" Sebastian couldn't hide the curiosity in his voice.

"Like the possibility that upon Anders death it would be Vengeance and not Justice that rose up. That it was possible for the spirit to escape and inhabit some other body or person." Fenris sighed and came to a stop. "If Hawke had killed Anders when you asked, then the spirit in him would have been freed and might have caused even more havoc than it already had."

Sebastian came to a sudden stop, "Wait. You said if he _had_ killed Anders. Are you saying-"

"That Anders is dead? Yes."

Sebastian felt his jaw drop. A rush of emotions flooded him: disappointment, happiness, anger, frustration. "You wouldn't lie about this just to spite me, would you."

"I wish I were lying," Fenris replied heavily as he continued walking towards the hut. Instead of going to the building, he skirted around it towards the end of the treeline, coming to a stop at the edge of the stream. "Look," he pointed.

Sebastian turned towards the place indicated and drew a sharp breath. There was a mound of earth and a headstone. Going up to it he stopped and read: "Anders, Beloved" with the date of birth and death.

"You are a month too late prince," Fenris said quietly.

"How?" he turned to face the elf.

"At Hawke's hand," Fenris sighed. "I was there, as was Merrill, Wynne and Bethany. It fell to myself, Bethany and Merrill to fight the spirit when it left Anders body. Wynne is a Spirit Healer and was going to try to bring Anders back. It was a slim chance, but Hawke and Anders both agreed that it was the only thing they could do."

"Apparently things didn't go the way you all hoped they would," Sebastian said quietly as he stared at the grave.

"No, the spirit was reluctant to leave Anders and fought against it. Wynne used her connection to the good spirits in the fade to force him to leave, but it left her too weak to bring Anders back. And it was in fact Vengeance that rose up, a twisted and ugly thing that raged at us and called us traitors to the cause." Fenris turned to look down at the grave as well.

Sebastian looked up from the grave and towards the hut, figuring that Hawke was inside since he hadn't seen him yet. As he did so, he saw a young woman step out and head towards them. He realized that it was Bethany. He kept his eyes on her as he listened to the rest of the story.

"Hawke was devestated," Fenris said quietly. "After we destroyed the spirit, we stood and watched as he wept over Anders' body. Finally, we managed to get him to let go so we could tend to it. We brought Anders here, so he could be buried in a place safe from any who might desecrate the grave out of spite."

"How did you come to this place?"

"Merrill knew of it," Bethany broke in. "It had been built by some hermit that had once lived here. It had been abandoned long before their clan had camped in these parts and she sometimes used it to escape her lessons for a while."

"It's good to see you again Bethany, you're looking well," Sebastian sketched a bow to her. He saw her regarding him coldy, arms folded across her chest.

"Since the man you've been chasing is dead, I expect that you'll be heading back to Starkhaven now," she retorted flatly.

"Actually, I don't know what to do now," he sighed.

"My brother has suffered enough," she snapped. "I won't let you hurt him further. So, if that was your intention, I should remind you that both Merrill and I are extremely powerful mages and will have no problem destroying you and your little troop up there."

"I never intended to hurt your brother," Sebastian protested.

"You expect us to believe that?" Fenris argued.

"Even though I felt betrayed by Hawke, I never intended to harm him, not for a crime that wasn't his," the prince shook his head.

"Then what did you mean?" Bethany was truly puzzled.

"Things didn't go as planned in Starkhaven," he answered reluctantly. "But, that is too long a story to get into at this time. Suffice it to say that I have no idea of what I'm going to do now or where I'm going to go."

"There are many places you can go, Denerim, Orzammar, Amaranthine, even Orlais," Fenris told him. "Personally, I don't care where you go. My only concern is protecting Hawke."

"Denerim sounds like a good place, you can go pal around with fellow royalty," Bethany said flatly.

Sebastian looked back and forth between the two of them. He'd never known Hawke's sister, nor she him, but he'd considered Fenris a close friend. Both of them were looking at him like he was some stranger come to disrupt their little world. It left him feeling uncomfortable and alone. He hadn't even seen hide nor hair of Hawke, and wondered if the man was even here, or if this was all a show put on to fool him. As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he glanced suspiciously at the grave again. They could be lying for Hawke's benefit. He decided to test the theory.

"Before I go, I would like to speak with Hawke," he said softly.

"I don't think that's a good idea, you'd only remind him of what he lost," Bethany shook her head.

"I suppose, but his presence may be enough to snap Hawke out of his depression, or whatever it is he is wallowing in," Fenris argued.

"Fine, but I'll be watching closely," Bethany said darkly.

Fenris motioned to the prince to follow him. He paused outside the door, "I want to warn you, Hawke isn't the same man you once knew. He'd been struggling for some time and we think that Anders death at his hand may have been the last straw that broke him. He is a shell of his former self and it may shock you."

"It's important that you act as normal as possible around him, understood?" Bethany held his gaze until he nodded. "Then go inside and see for yourself."

Sebastian took a deep breath and opened the door. The first thing he saw was Ripper, Hawke's mabari. The dog leapt to his feet with a happy bark, bounding over to greet him, his stubby tale wagging. He felt a smile curve his lips. At least someone was glad to see him. "How are you boy?" he patted the dog on the head.

"Oh, hello Sebastian," Merrill greeted him brightly. "Still have your shiny armor I see."

"Merrill, you're looking well," he nodded politely.

"I'm just getting ready to start supper," the little Dalish told him as she put a pot on the fire. "Are you going to be eating with us? Only, I don't know if we have enough to feed you and your men."

Sebastian was no longer listening to her, his attention having been caught by a figure sitting at the table and staring out the window. It was Hawke, but not as he remembered him. The once neatly braided black locks now hung limp, their ends ragged and in desperate need of a trim. The man had always been clean shaven, but now had a scraggly beard all around his jaw. His face was thin and pale, and his body seemed to have shrunk in size. Clearly, Hawke had lost a great deal of weight.

He came to a stop within a foot of the table, "Hello Hawke."

Liam Hawke looked up at the sound of a voice he hadn't heard in over a year. He stared into the blue eyes of a man he'd once called friend. "What do you want?" he asked, his voice flat. "Come to gloat?"

Sebastian barely held back his gasp of dismay. The grey eyes that had once sparkled with humor were now red rimmed and completely devoid of any emotion. There was no life there at all. "No. I-I'm sorry-"

"Save your empty platitudes," Hawke intoned. "Anders is dead, which is what you wanted," he dropped his gaze to the garment in his lap.

Sebastian looked down and saw that it was the robe with the feathers that Anders had worn those last weeks in Kirkwall. He found himself at a loss as to what to say. Feeling a hand on his arm, he looked to see Merrill motioning him to step back. He followed her over to the fire.

"You seem surprised," she said softly.

"How long has he been like this?" he looked back at his one-time friend.

"Since the day Anders died," the girl sighed. "He hardly eats, he doesn't sleep well, and he has mood swings, sometimes violent ones, although it's been a couple weeks since the last one."

"He looks like-" Sebastian hesitated, not wanting to say what he was thinking aloud.

"Like he's waiting to die?" Merrill finished it for him. "Well, you might be right about that."

"Has he truly given up on life?" the prince felt his stomach clench at the thought.

"Maybe." Merrill looked back towards the table. "I don't think he loved anyone as much as he loved Anders, except maybe Ripper."

"He still has you, his sister, Fenris," Sebastian protested.

Merrill looked around and then dropped her voice to a near whisper. "He has a journal that he kept while in Kirkwall. I got a glimpse of it once and read something that I think may explain this. I told the others about it, and I probably shouldn't tell you, seeing as how they don't trust you and Hawke hates you, but-"

"Then don't tell me," he said firmly.

"No, no, you may be able to help him, if you knew," Merrill said earnestly. "We've certainly had no luck reaching out to him. If something doesn't change soon, then-" she paused and shook her head.

"Listen, I was angry when I left Kirkwall," he told her. "But in the months that followed, my anger cooled somewhat, at least towards Hawke. Now that I've seen him, I think he's suffered enough. If I can help in any way, I will."

"He wrote about an incident with Anders, a conversation he'd had," she whispered. "He had actually managed to convince Anders that there was still a chance to resolve things peacefully. But Justice suddenly popped up and told him off. He argued with the spirit for a few minutes before Anders managed to regain control. Anders had no memory of what happened, and mentioned that he was experiencing more and more blackouts. This was a few weeks before, well, you know."

Sebastian turned to stare thoughtfully at Hawke. "So he knew that Anders was losing it."

"Yes," she nodded. "I think he feels he could have stopped it, or at least done more to turn Anders from the path he was on. He's always been that way, always trying to save us from ourselves. I think he feels that he failed Anders, failed us, failed everyone."

"And for someone who never failed at anything-" Sebastian shook his head. He was beginning to get the picture and it wasn't a pretty one."

"Also, I know how much it hurts to have to kill someone you love, especially if it was your mistake that led to it," Merrill said sadly. "My foolishness and my pride led me down a path that ended with Keeper Marethari's death. A woman who'd been like a mother to me died at my hands. That's a horror I wouldn't wish on even my worst enemy, let alone a friend. It took me over a month to stop crying every time I turned around, and I still have nightmares about it. I imagine that Hawke's experiencing something similar right now. If I didn't have Hawke and Varric and Isabella looking out for me, I probably would have ended my life."

The door opened, interrupting their talk. Bethany and Fenris both entered and stood just inside looking between Hawke and the prince. Bethany went over to her brother and sat next to him. Fenris motioned to Sebastian and Merrill to follow him out. As he left, Sebastian heard Bethany telling her brother about a story she'd heard from Oghren about one of their Deep Roads excursions.

Once outside, Fenris turned on Merrill angrily, "Why did you tell him all that about Hawke and Anders?"

"Because, he was Hawke's friend once and we need all the help we can get," Merrill retorted fiercely.

"Any more of his help and Hawke may just kill himself," he snarled in return.

Sebastian just gaped at him for a long moment. He'd never expected to hear such words directed at him. "I've done nothing to Hawke to warrant such accusations!"

"No? You told Hawke to his face that you would bring an army to hunt him and Anders down," Fenris growled. "On the journey here, Anders tried to kill himself. Hawke managed to stop him, barely. When he asked why, Anders told him that it would save Hawke from you. Whether you intended to actually harm Hawke or not makes no difference. You are still partly to blame for the state he's in now."

"Fenris, that's exactly why he might be able to help," Merrill urged. She turned to the prince, "If you truly meant no threat to Hawke, then maybe you can help him see that he did everything he could. That he hasn't failed. You two were so close once, almost like brothers. If he sees that you don't hate him, then maybe, just maybe he can come back to us."

"I doubt it will be as easy as that Merrill," Sebastian shook his head.

"So you won't even try?" the dalish cried.

"No, no, I will try, just don't get your hopes up," he answered. "It may take some time though."

"If you stay, it will be without your men," Fenris told him firmly. "Not only will their presence upset Hawke, but there's not nearly enough room here for them."

"I will send them to Denerim," Sebastian said firmly. "I can also have Reginald buy provisions and bring them back here."

"Where will you sleep, Your Highness?" Fenris asked, a mocking smile on his face.

"I still know how to rough it," Sebastian retorted. "And right now, without a kingdom, I'm no prince."

"So we can just call you Sebastian?" Merrill laughed.

"Or Choir Boy," Fenris smirked.

"I see that I'll have a hard time living down Varric's nickname for me," Sebastian shook his head ruefully. "My men and I have tents, I'll set mine up outside near the stream. That way, I won't be underfoot too much."

"I suppose that'll be fine," Fenris nodded.

"Good, let me go inform my men of what I intend."

Fenris watched him go and then turned to Merrill, "Let's hope we don't all regret this."

"It'll all work out for the best Fenris, you'll see," Merrill told him before returning to the hut to finish making dinner.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Three days passed and Sebastian was beginning to wonder if perhaps he'd made a mistake staying with Hawke. The man hadn't spoken two words to him since the day he'd arrived. Hawke didn't even acknowledge his presence, not even when he sat right across from the man at the table during supper. Bethany was civil to him, but didn't bother trying to actually talk with him. Her energies seemed to be focused on her brother. Fenris occasionally talked with him, but their conversations avoided anything having to do with their past history. They talked about things like the difference in weather between Ferelden and The Free Marches. The rest of the time he spent practicing with his sword.

Merrill was the only one who talked with him for any length of time. No, it was more like she talked at him, chattering away like a magpie. All he had to do was nod or grunt on occasion. He wondered how the others had managed to keep from gagging her sometimes. He tried to steer their conversations towards recent events, but she was very good at changing the subject, and eventually he just gave up.

So, for the most part, he spent his days practicing with his bow and exploring the immediate area around the clearing. Ripper would occasionally go with him and he had to admit he rather enjoyed the hound's company. The dog accepted his presence among them and for a short while he could pretend that he was once again part of the group. At night, he retired to his tent and tried to convince himself that it was worth staying. But, it wasn't until the fourth day that he actually began to think that maybe his presence was doing some good.

Early in the afternoon he sat beside the stream cleaning his equipment. He was so absorbed in the task that he didn't notice when Merrill came to sit beside him. Her voice at his elbow made him jump a little.

"You don't seem to be happy to be here," she stated.

He eyed her sidelong as he replied, "You convinced me that my presence might help Hawke. So far, there's been no sign that it is helping."

"That's not true," the girl shook her head. "He watches you, you know." She saw the surprise on the prince's face and chuckled. "It's true. When you practice with your bow, he stares right out the window at you. Of course, I can't tell what he's thinking, but I think it's a good sign."

"Merrill, he hasn't even returned any of my 'good mornings'," Sebastian sighed and put down the bow he was working on.

"True, but then he never returns mine either," she giggled.

"I'm sorry, but I don't share your opinion that my presence is needed," he stated flatly. "You're the only one who bothers to spend any time with me, besides Ripper of course. I didn't really expect anything from Bethany, but Fenris and I used to be friends. At least I thought we were."

"Well, he was angry at you for the longest time," Merrill pursed her lips. "Then he got past that and was just disappointed-"

"What? Why?"

"Because you abandoned Hawke at the end," she turned to look at him. "You made Hawke choose between you and the man he loved. Then you turned your back and walked away when he didn't side with you."

"I had every right to-"

"No, you didn't," Merrill hissed angrily. "How many times did Hawke stick his neck out for you, put his life at risk for you, without expecting anything in return?" She saw the prince open his mouth for an angry retort and cut him off. "The one time he needed you to stand by him, you didn't."

"I loved Elthina," Sebastian snapped. "How could anyone expect me to stand by Anders afer that?"

"He didn't ask that, he asked you to support _him_!" she said firmly. "You let your anger at what happened blind you to everything else. You abandoned him. Worse, you threatened to come back and destroy him and Anders."

"I said I would hunt Anders down," he retorted.

"Do you really think that Hawke would have just handed Anders over without a fight?" she asked softly. She saw him frown and look away. "If you had managed to raise an army and come looking for them, you would have had to fight all of us Sebastian, Fenris included."

"You would have stood by him, even then?" he was shocked.

"That's what you do for your friends," Merrill stood up. "Now I think Fenris just doesn't know how to talk to you. He never was very good at conversation, and he still likes to brood too much. He's not good at expressing his feelings still. If you want answers, you'll have to ask him, start the conversation with him." She started back towards the hut, "Think about what I said Sebastian."

As the sun started it's downward turn to the horizon, he did think about what Merrill had said. He realized that he never really expected the others to fight him. He just assumed that, when facing a large army, they would hand the abomination over. He recalled all the times he watched Hawke take on overwhelming numbers of monsters, thugs, raiders, Tal-Vashoth, and Coterie. Even if he'd managed to bring a hundred men, that still might not have been enough to capture Anders. Not if Fenris and the others stood behind Hawke. At the very least, it would have ended in more than just the death of the apostate.

"I'm not sure what you expected of me."

Sebastian jumped at the sound of Fenris' voice so close to him. He'd not heard the elf approach. "Merrill spoke with you I take it."

Fenris eyed the prince for a short time before seeming to come to a decision and sat opposite him. "I've not had many friends in my life. Hawke was the first. You were the second. When you turned your back and walked away, I questioned just how much of a friend you were. It felt like all the things you, Hawke, and I shared meant nothing."

"I couldn't just stand by and watch that murderer walk around free," the prince snapped.

"The whole city was falling apart, Meredith was on the warpath, and Hawke was putting his life on the line," he retorted. "He needed his friends, all of them, and you walked away. I didn't understand then how you could just turn from those you called friend when they needed you most, and I still don't understand. It wasn't about Anders, or Elthina, or Meredith, or mages. It was about having those you trust at your back, standing by you through the good and the bad. You failed in that your highness."

"So you are holding it against me," Sebastian scowled.

"Not anymore," Fenris shook his head. "But, you lost my trust Sebastian, and probably Hawke's as well."

"Is that why you avoid me?"

"For the most part," he answered. "I no longer trust you, so I no longer feel comfortable discussing anything other than the mundane with you. If you expected things to be different, then you're more naive than Merrill."

For a long while they sat in silence. Finally Sebastian asked, "Would you really have fought me?"

"Even without all I owe Hawke, I would have," Fenris growled. "He is my friend, and I will stand by his side no matter what. That is the point I'm trying to make you see. If he decided to fight you, I would have joined him, no matter how much it would have pained me to do so. And for the record, you didn't bring nearly enough men with you to fight us."

"I guess I was expecting too much thinking you would just hand Anders over."

"Yes, you were," Fenris stood up to leave. "It is a moot point anyway now that Anders is gone." He stopped after going only a few paces and turned for a parting shot. "If you don't like it here, then when your man returns I suggest you leave with him. You have no friends here your highness."

The finality of that last statement felt like a punch to the gut, he actually bent over a little at the waist. A bleakness settled in his heart. If he truly had no friends here, then he had no friends at all. The men who followed him did so because they acknowledged him as their rightful ruler. They weren't his friends, not even Reginald. There were nobles loyal to him back in Starkhaven, but they weren't friends. How could they be? He'd been given to the Chantry at the age of 13, and sent away from the principality. He didn't even know them.

As he thought more about it, he realized that his only true friends these past years had been Hawke and Fenris. He had acquaintances in the Chantry, and Elthina had been like a mother to him, but he'd had no real friends there either. That damn abomination took that away too.

_No, you did that yourself. _His conscience mocked him.

He scowled and tried to argue with himself that it wasn't the case, to no avail. Anders destroyed the Chantry yes, but he didn't make him walk away. That had been all on him. A memory stirred of a conversation he'd had with Elthina after finding out the truth behind the Harimmans' betrayal. In the course of the argument, she'd accused him of not being serious about his vows. She'd told him he was as impulsive as the day he'd arrived at the Chantry. She hadn't wanted him swearing more vows that he would abandon the next time his passion took over.

Maker, she would be disappointed in him. He'd behaved exactly as he'd always done, letting his temper, his passion rule his actions. He looked down at the armor he was wearing and seriously considered getting something else. The armor was supposed to be an affirmation of his dedication to the Chantry, but he hadn't been worthy of it in years. Then his eyes fell on the longbow at his feet. It had been his grandfather's and Hawke had found it and returned it. He hadn't asked for a reward. Instead he had listened attentively to the story of the bow. Sebastian smiled remembering how Hawke had made the bad joke of not being able to shoot his family at his enemies.

Other memories came to him of times when Hawke had cracked some joke or made light of a situation. At first he'd been a little appalled that the warrior could be so crass. Over the years he'd come to realize that it was the way Hawke dealt with danger or adversity. Even after his mother had died, Hawke had hidden his pain from the world, hiding behind jokes and smiles. Sebastian sometimes wondered if anything could ever really dampen the man's spirits.

Looking over his shoulder towards the hut, he tried to see if Hawke was there watching him. As he did so, his gaze passed over the lone grave at the treeline. It was jarring to realize that the death of the abomination could bring Hawke to the edge of despair, but there was no denying the truth. Hawke was a broken man, one that the others feared couldn't be fixed.

He shook his head and got to his feet. Maker's breath he was becoming maudlin. Fenris was right. If his presence here wasn't doing anyone any good then he would leave and not come back. They didn't want him here and he wasn't sure he wanted to be here anymore. He headed towards the hut, knowing that either Merrill or Bethany would be making supper. He'd taken to helping them, if only to break up the tedium that his days had become.

"Oh hello Sebastian," Merrill greeted cheerily as he stepped inside. "Fenris has gone to collect some more firewood. I think we're getting low, so we'll have to go cut some more tomorrow. Ripper was good enough to kill some rabbits, so we're having roast rabbit with potatoes tonight."

"Where's Hawke?" he asked. The man's usual seat near the window was empty, as was his bed in the other room.

"Taking a bath," she giggled. "Bethany finally managed to get him to go. He was starting to get a little ripe and this hut is stuffy enough without that."

"Does he do nothing for himself other than eating then?"

"Pretty much, and even then it's only when the food is put in front of him," she sobered. "I think if we weren't here looking out for him that he would have starved to death by now."

Sebastian wandered over to the place Hawke usually sat and looked out the window. The area where he had set up his archery targets was clearly visible from inside. He wondered what went through Hawke's mind each day he sat there, if anything did. He suspected that the man spent his days reliving the past. He seriously doubted that Merrill was right about Hawke watching him.

"I know that you're feeling a little bit left out, but don't worry, the others will come around eventually," Merrill was saying as she slowly turned the rabbits on the spit. "You just have to give them time. Humans have a saying that time heals all wounds. I try really hard to believe that."

He barely acknowledged Merrill's words, dismissing them as just the empty chatter she was so good at. His attention had been caught by the glint of something laying on Hawke's chair. Picking it up, he saw it was an amulet. Upon closer inspection, he saw that it was a Tevinter Chanrty amulet, and almost dropped it. He'd heard about them and knew the Divine had outlawed them. She'd made wearing one a crime punishable by death. How had Hawke come by this? He jumped as an angry voice barged into his thoughts.

"Don't you touch his things!" Hawke screamed at him, rushing forward and snatching the amulet from his grasp. "How dare you? You have no right!" He began gathering up the items on the chair and table.

"Hawke, I-" he stopped and edged backwards as the man whirled on him, his face a mask of rage.

"You don't belong here," Liam spat. "Why have you stayed? What twisted, sick game are you playing at?"

"Hawke, I asked him to stay," Merrill jumped into the fray. "Please, listen-"

"If you've come to kill me then do it and get it over with," Hawke ignored her, his attention fixed on the prince. "If not, then get out. I hate you, hate you, hate you."

Suddenly Sebastian found himself flat on his back on the floor, staring up at the man who'd just sucker punched him. The hate in the man's eyes as he looked down at him made him sick to his stomach and fearful for his life. Even though he'd lost weight, Hawke was still a big, powerful man. With rage fueling him, there was no telling what the man was capable of. Right now murder seemed to be a real possibility.

Merrill apparently feared something similar, for she suddenly waived her hands while whispering some spell. Liam suddenly shuddered, his eyes closing as his body thudded to the floor. Merrill met the prince's wide eyes with her own. "He'll be out for a few hours," she told him, her voice shaky.

"What in blazes happened in here?" Bethany asked as she looked at the three of them.

"What did you do to him witch?" Fenris glared at Merrill.

"Just put him to sleep, before he could do something he'd end up regretting," the girl told him. "Don't just stand there gawking. Help me get him to his bed."

Fenris moved to take Hawke's shoulders. Bethany was surprised when Sebastian waived her aside and picked up Hawke's legs. The two men heaved and huffed and staggered a little, but finally managed to get Hawke to the cot in the other room. Panting Sebastian stepped back and watched as Fenris removed Hawke's boots and then pulled a blanket over him and adjusted the pillow under his head. Once done, he motioned Sebastian to leave and followed him out and into the main room.

"I want an explanation," Bethany demanded. "Why did Merrill have to spell my brother?"

"I was just looking at that amulet," Sebastian explained. "I'd heard about them, but never seen one before. I didn't know it belonged to Anders, although I can't say I'm surprised he had one," he finished sourly.

"That was a gift to Anders from Liam," Bethany said coldy. "He told Anders that it was shiny and subversive and symbolized what Anders stood for. It was gift of love. Don't go putting your biased, mage-hating, chantry view on it."

"I never said I hated mages!" he retorted.

"No? Then why were you always telling Fenris that Merrill and Anders should be turned in?" Bethany hissed. Seeing the surprise on his face she snorted, "Yes, Fenris told me all about your viewpoints. He wanted to help me understand what happened at the end there in Kirkwall."

"You told Fenris I should be turned in?" Merrill's eyes were wide as saucers, hurt making her voice a mere whisper. "I never did anything to hurt anyone. Not on purpose anyway."

"That was before I really knew you-"

"Don't lie prince," Fenris sneered. "You never trusted either of them."

"And I was right not to trust Anders," Sebastian said angrily. "Look at what he did."

"That wasn't all Anders doing, and you know that," Bethany folded her arms, continuing to glare at him.

"Whatever he thought then, that's in the past," Merrill shook her head. "What we need to focus on now is Hawke and what happened."

"Merrill's right," Fenris agreed. "We can't change what happened, we can only move forward."

"Oh no, the rabbit's burning!" Merrill cried and darted towards the fire and began turning the spit again. "Okay, it's not too bad, just a little burnt."

Sebastian suddenly found himself laughing, Merrill's reaction to their dinner burning seemed so out of proportion to the seriousness of the situation. He sank down onto the chair near the fire, bent over at the knees. He realized that his laughter bordered on hysteria, but he couldn't stop.

"I fail to see the humor here," Fenris frowned.

"I'm sorry, it's just Merrill," Sebastian tried to get his laughter under control.

"I guess I did seem a little silly," the little Dalish blushed slightly and looked down at her feet.

"We should have warned you about not touching anything that once belonged to Anders," Bethany wanted to get their attention back to the subject at hand.

"Hawke hasn't reacted that strongly to anything since the day we buried Anders," Fenris frowned, wondering what it meant.

"That's good then, isn't it?" Merrill said, excitement making her voice higher in pitch. "I mean, he reacted. Showed strong emotion."

Sebastian sobered at the reminder of Hawke's rage. "He was enraged that I had touched the amulet. He said he hated me, and for a moment there I really thought him capable of killing me."

"I don't know why you sound so surprised about that," Bethany shrugged. "You turned your back on him and threatened him and the man he loved."

"I don't think he hates you Sebastian," Merrill soothed.

"Don't be too sure about that," Fenris snorted. "I know how easily love can turn to hate. I did love my sister once. But her selling me out to Danarius destroyed that. Hawke is the only reason I didn't kill her. Time has done nothing to change that feeling."

"Really Fenris?" Bethany asked softly. "She's all that's left of your family. Surely you don't mean it."

"I do," Fenris said firmly. "Some things can never be forgiven or forgotten."

"Well, I think that Hawke is just very hurt and angry," Merrill insisted, her mouth set in a stubborn line. "He just needs time to work through it all, and I think that he will forgive Sebastian some day."

Fenris just shook his head in disbelief. Bethany sighed and said, "Well, at least Merrill was right about Sebastian's presence. Liam did react to him, even if it wasn't in a good way. We'll just have to wait and see what happens when he wakes up."

Sebastian suddenly felt as if the walls were closing in and stormed out of the hut. Once outside, he stood taking deep breaths. The way they all seemed to think that Hawke hitting him and yelling at him was a good sign bewildered him. Emotions that strong were dangerous, not beneficial.

"Merrill could be wrong about Hakwe," Fenris stated as he joined the prince.

"The only time I've seen Hawke look like that was when we faced down that blood mage Quentin, the one who kidnapped Leandra," he told the elf. "To see it directed at me," he sighed. "I think she is wrong."

"There is a great deal of stuff fueling his anger."

"Like what?" Sebastian turned towards Fenris.

"It's not my place to say," the elf shrugged. "If you decide to stick around, maybe Hawke will tell you."

"I don't think I can Fenris," he shook his head. "When my man Reginald returns from Denerim, I will leave. Unless of course things change with Hawke. But, if he really does hate me, then I don't see that happening."

"Where will you go?"

"I don't know," he answered. "I can't return to Starkhaven for now, maybe not ever. I suppose I could go to Orlais, but I don't know if that is a safe place for me either."

"What do you mean, it's not safe?" Fenris cocked his head.

"The nobles of Starkhaven decided they like having a ruler they could easily manipulate," he sighed. "Goran is a spineless idiot, but he seemed to rather like being prince. I wouldn't put it past him to finish the job the Harriman's started."

"There is a Chantry in Denerim," Fenris said coolly.

"I'm not really cut out for a life of prayer and contemplation, if you haven't noticed," he chuckled.

"Well, at least you finally realized that," Fenris smirked.

"I'll figure something out," Sebastian turned towards his tent. "I think it best if I eat out here tonight, just in case Hawke wakes up in a foul mood."

Fenris watched him walk away and then turned back to the hut. He had a feeling the prince was hiding something, but he wasn't sure what. It was in the way he sounded when he talked about Hawke hating him. Almost as if he wished it could be different. Shrugging he pushed the thoughts away. If the prince stayed long enough, he would get his answers. If not, then no big deal.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_"Liam, love, you can't understand what it's like for me now. That spirit, Justice or Vengeance, whatever you want to call it, took complete control over me. I could see and hear everything I was doing. But, I couldn't stop him. I struggled, I fought, I think I was even screaming inside, and still we set that bomb to go off. I may look like the man you fell in love with, but only on the surface."_

_"So you're saying none of this was your doing."_

_"No, I set the bomb in the Chantry, but at the time it was more of a backup plan. I'm not saying that the stiuation wouldn't have eventually warranted such extreme measures, but the timing was not my choice. I told you before that time has no meaning for fade creatures. Justice got tired of waiting."_

_"Anders, killing you won't solve anything. You've started a war that could tear Thedas apart. You have an obligation to see things through."_

_"And what if the next time Justice takes over, it's you he goes after? Or another innocent bystander? I can't take my own life, he won't let me. Yet, I can't go on knowing that one day I will truly become the monster everyone thinks I am."_

_"There must be another way besides killing you. I love you too much to just give up."_

_"Loving me won't stop Sebastian from coming after us. He will hunt us down and kill me. I know you, you won't give me up without a fight. I couldn't bear it if you died trying to protect me."_

_"Anders, I-"_

Liam groaned and turned over in his sleep.

_"You can't ask me to do this!"_

_"Liam, we've run out of time. This is the only thing we've found that has a chance of working. Wynne is a very powerful Spirit Healer, she knows what she is doing. It's risky, but we have to try."_

_"You're asking me to basically let you die and trust she can bring you back," Liam choked out. He paced for several minutes before whirling and yelling, "This can't be the only way."_

_"Maybe not, but that pigeon we got from Isabella has decided things. Sebastian is coming and may be here in as little as a week. The only chance we have of convincing him to spare me is if we get rid of the spirit inside me. He'll kill you and anyone else who stands between him and me. I can't let that happen. I won't have anyone else dying because of me. We've run out of time."_

_"We could keep moving, travel to other places, look for answers elsewhere."_

_"Chased by the prince and his men the whole way? Involve others in the mess I've made? No, Liam."_

Liam jerked awake and sat up, his heart pounding from the dream of those final hours. Closing his eyes, he fought back tears as the memory of holding Anders and watching him die in his arms ran through his mind, as clear and painful as the day it happened. He'd known deep in his heart that the chance of it working was slim to none and he'd let it happen anyway. He should have refused, should have stopped the man he loved from taking such drastic action. In that, like in so many other things, he'd failed.

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he slowly looked around at the tiny bedroom. It wasn't yet night, but he'd been asleep anyway. He frowned as he tried to remember how he got here. At last he recalled what happened. Sebastian had touched Anders things and he'd flown into a rage at the intrusion. Merrill must have been afraid he'd kill the bastard and knocked him out. Maybe he would have, or maybe it would have been the other way around.

Sighing he stood and moved to the tiny window and looked out. He didn't know why the prince was still here. He'd secretly hoped that Sebastian would kill him in a fit of rage at learning that the man he wanted was already dead. Then he could be reunited with Anders in the next life. It hadn't happened, and he didn't think it would be happening. But that still left the question of why the prince was hanging around.

Moving to sit on the side of the bed again, he put his head in his hands. He didn't know how to go on, and he wasn't sure he wanted to. Without Anders, life seemed dull and pointless. He reached under his pillow and withdrew the knife he had hidden there. He looked at it lying in his hands and came to a decision. If Sebastian wasn't going to kill him, then he had no choice but to end it himself.

The Chantry always preached that suicide was a mortal sin and anyone commiting it would be denied a place at the Maker's side. If the Maker was that unforgiving, then Anders wasn't there either. He wasn't even sure he believed in the Maker anymore anyway. He certainly had no faith in the Chantry or their propaganda, not after everything he'd seen in Kirkwall. Anders had been right in one thing: a war between mages and the Chantry was bound to happen some day. Someday had just happened to come sooner than expected.

A knock on the door had him hastily stashing the knife under the pillow once more. "Come in."

Merrill opened the door, a plate of food in one hand. "I wasn't sure you'd be awake yet. I brought you some dinner."

"I'm not hungry," Liam muttered. "Just go away and leave me alone."

Merrill hesitated only briefly, before sighing and leaving, closing the door behind her. She went back to the others. "He's up, but he said he wasn't hungry."

"I'm getting tired of this," Bethany put down her fork. "What's it going to take to get through to him."

"Sebastian, maybe you should try talking to him," Fenris looked at the prince. "That's the reason you stayed right? To try to get him to move on with his life."

"And if he tries to kill me?" he glared at the elf.

"I don't think that'll happen now," Merrill said firmly. "He seems to be calm."

"Seems to be, right," the prince said sourly.

"We've been trying for over a month to get Liam to come out of his shell, with no luck," Bethany told him. "In just a few days, you've gotten more of a reaction from him than any of us. If you're not willing to at least try, then I see no reason for you to stay any longer."

Silence fell at the table as each focused on their own thoughts. Sebastian wasn't happy about the expectations the others seemed to place on him. Hawke had been furious with him, and over such a simple thing. It was foolish to assume that the man would just sit calmly and listen to anything he had to say. He seriously considered telling them sorry and leaving, without waiting for his man to return. He was pretty sure that Fenris would be more than happy to escort him to Denerim.

After he had finished eating, he stared at the closed door to the bedroom. He could feel Bethany's eyes on him and turned to meet her gaze. "Okay, I'll go in there and see what I can do. But no promises. He hates me and most likely will throw me out."

"I don't think he'll do that," Merrill chirruped brightly.

Sebastian heard a muffled snort and looked over at Fenris to see the elf rolling his eyes at the Dalish. Privately, he agreed with the man. Merrill seemed to still be a few cards shy of a full deck. Some things never change.

Getting to his feet, he squared his shoulders, and walked to the door, knocking once before opening it. He saw that Hawke was lying on his back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Ripper was lying beside the bed and the dog looked up and wagged his tail a little. "Hawke, I-"

"Get out," Liam said flatly.

"No, I won't, not until I've said my peace," he retorted, earning a brief glare from the man. He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "Anders is dead, but you're not, and neither are those you call your friends and family. They have stood by you through all this and you owe it to them to stop wallowing in self-pity and get on with your life."

"We didn't have enough time."

"What?" Sebastian was puzzled, not understanding that statement coming out of the blue the way it did.

"Anders and I, not enough time," Liam finally looked at the prince. "We were trying to find a way to seperate Anders from that spirit. Anders believed it to be the only chance we had of convincing you to spare him."

"Whether he was wholly responsible for what happened, or not, doesn't change the fact of his guilt."

"Without knowing all the facts, you passed judgement on him, on me," was the flat retort. "Anders didn't want to blow up the Chantry, not really. He still had hope that things could be resolved another way. Justice was tired of waiting and forced him to do it."

Sebastian drew in a sharp breath in surprise. Then he became suspicious, "Is that what he told you? I suppose you believed him, just like all those other times you believed his lies."

"I knew him better than anyone, and I know it was the truth. But when has the truth ever mattered to you?" Liam sat up in the bed, glaring at him. "Even now, you can't admit to yourself that your only motivation in coming after us was revenge, not justice. You don't even know the meaning of the word."

"This is pointless," Sebastian snapped angrily. "I don't know why I'm even trying."

"I don't know why either," Liam agreed. Then he sighed and lay back down. "I don't want you here, so just go away and leave me alone."

Angrily, Sebastian stepped out and slammed the door behind him, startling the others. "I wash my hands of him," he told them before storming out of the hut. The others silently watched him go.

Fenris finally got to his feet, "I'm going to talk to him, see if I can find out what happened."

Bethany also stood, "I better check on my brother."

Merrill watched them both go before slumping sadly against the table, burying her head in her arms. Things weren't turning out the way she hoped they would. Now she wondered if she'd made the right decision in convincing Sebastian to stay in the first place. She'd forgotten how stubborn both the prince and Hawke could be. She knew that it was only a matter of time before Hawke did something drastic. She knew the signs, she'd seen them in herself not so long ago. Hawke had saved her then and she wanted to save him now, but she was beginning to doubt she could.

Fenris paused outside the prince's tent, watching silently as the man packed up his belongings. "So, you've decided to leave," he finally said.

Sebastian turned to glare at him, "I should never have agreed to stay in the first place."

"I won't argue with you there," the elf nodded. "I never really believed in Merrill's notion that you could help Hawke. You haven't forgiven him for sparing Anders, and probably never will. Most likely he knows this."

"No, what I can't forgive is the fact that he believed in and supported Anders even though the man lied to him at every turn," the prince snapped.

"Not everything was a lie. His love for Hawke, which Hawke returned full measure, not the least of it." Fenris folded his arms, "Yet you don't seem to want to believe that. I have to wonder why."

Sebastian opened his mouth to respond and then snapped it shut. "I have my reasons."

"Which are?" Fenris was now curious. He had the feeling he was on the verge of discovering Sebastian's true motivation for everything.

"None of your business," he snapped. "I'll leave in the morning for Denerim."

Fenris paused for a moment before offering, "I can travel with you. The road to Denerim isn't safe and you'll have a better chance of reaching the city if you're not alone."

"Why?" Sebastian looked up from his packing. "If I get killed along the way, that'll make all of you happy, wouldn't it?"

"I never said I wanted you dead," Fenris growled. "And despite what you think, I doubt that Hawke would want you dead either."

Sebastian studied the elf for a while, trying to judge the truth in that statement. Finally, he nodded, "All right, if you want to come, I won't say no." He turned back to packing, "Now, if you don't mind, I really don't feel like company at the moment."

Fenris shrugged and turned away, heading back towards the hut to check on Hawke. The trip to Denerim would give him more opportunities to pry the whole story out of the prince. The man was hiding something, and the elf's gut instinct told him that whatever it was could hold the key to Hawke getting on with his life.

Sebastian slumped down on his bedroll. Fenris suspected something, he knew that, and having the elf travelling with him to Denerim would just give the man more opportunities to ferret the information out. However, getting to the city alone would prove to be difficult at best, mainly because there were a lot of bandits lying in wait. Even though the Blight had been over for almost a decade, Ferelden was still recovering. Many people had been displaced and had had to struggle to make new homes for themselves. There never seemed to be a shortage of people who took advantage of these situations.

Then there was the whole situation with the mages and Templars. Since leaving Kirkwall, he'd heard about how many Templars had gone rogue from the Chantry and taken to hunting down and killing anyone they suspected of being apostates. He'd also heard that dozens, perhaps hundreds, of mages had escaped their Circles and were now roaming about, wreaking havoc and causing fear amongst the people, leading to lynch mobs and the like. Ferelden seemed to be the only land who didn't have these kinds of problems, but it was hard to say if it was true or how long it would remain that way.

So, in short, even though it was possible he would reach Denerim safely, it was much more likely if he wasn't alone. And staying here until Reginald returned was no longer an option. He would just have to do his best to deflect any questions the elf might pose and hope for the best. It wouldn't do anyone any good to reveal the truth now.

Fenris entered the hut and walked over to Merrill who was still sitting at the table with her head down. He took the seat opposite her, "Sebastian is leaving in the morning, and I'm going with him."

The young Dalish looked up, "That's probably for the best. Things haven't worked out the way I thought they would."

"I doubted from the beginning that your idea would work at all," he shook his head. "Sebastian is still blinded by his hate for Anders. He can't help because he still blames Hawke for standing by Anders."

"I just thought with the way he feels about Hawke that it would be enough to overcome that," she said sadly.

"Obviously any feelings of friendship he ever felt for Hawke have been buried very deeply under his hatred for Anders. I doubt he's ever going to feel differently."

"Fenris, it isn't friendship he feels," Merrill lowered her voice to a near whisper. "I think that he secretly loves Hawke, but can't admit it to himself."

"Okay, now I know you're crazy," Fenris snorted. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"Is it?" Merrill's eyebrows rose. "You didn't notice the change in their relationship shortly after that whole business with the Harimann's? Cause I did."

Fenris looked sharply at her and then tried to think back to that time. He remembered how despondant the prince had been, and how supportive of him Hawke was, but he couldn't recall anything that would have indicated a change in their relationship. "They were always friendly with each other, and they did seem to become closer afterwards, but nothing to indicate there was anything more to it." Even has he said this he had to wonder. Sebastian was hiding something, could this be it? Then he dismissed the notion as farfetched.

"It wasn't anything they said or did. It was the way they looked at each other," she insisted.

"You always had a bad habit of seeing things that aren't there," Fenris snorted. "That is when you looked outside yourself and your own little world you travelled in."

Merrill pouted but dropped the subject. She knew she was right, but it didn't matter anymore, not if Sebastian was really leaving. "Bethany hasn't come out yet, and I haven't heard anything from inside."

"I have to ask myself how long we should keep trying to pull Hawke out of the pit he's burrowed himself in," Fenris shook his head. "Bethany has her obligation to the Wardens to think of, and I'm growing tired of just sitting around doing nothing."

"We can't just give up on him."

He looked at the girl and scowled, "I think he's made it clear that he doesn't really want our help. If he can't find within himself the desire to get on with life, there's nothing we can say or do that would make a difference. We should seriously consider leaving ourselves." He was stopped from saying anything else by Bethany coming out of the bedroom. "Well?"

"Sebastian was insensitive about Anders and Hawke basically told him to piss off," she sighed as she sat down at the table. "I've tried to get Liam to change his mind, but he won't. He wants the prince gone."

"Sebastian will be leaving in the morning," Fenris told her. "I'm going to escort him to Denerim, but I don't know if I'll come back here afterwards."

"What? Hawke needs you here," Bethany protested.

"I know you aren't going to like hearing what I have to say, but you need to hear it," the elf said sharply, his gaze locking on hers. "Your brother is determined to wallow in self-pity. He only bathes when you make him, he only eats when you guilt him into it, and the rest of the time he sits on his ass and stares into nothing. He won't talk to any of us, he won't even try. As long as we continue to baby him, he will continue to do these things."

"But, if we leave him to his own devices then he might-" Merrill couldn't finish the thought.

"He might die?" Fenris snorted. "Maybe, or maybe he'll snap out of it and start to take care of himself. And if he's really determined to not go on living, then our being here isn't going to stop him from taking matters into his own hand."

Bethany stared at her hands as she said slowly, "Perhaps you're right. Perhaps it is time to stop treating Liam like a child. Maker knows nothing we're doing is helping. Also, there's only so long I can stay away from the Wardens. There are things going on that I can't talk about, but they're as important to the future of Thedas as the fate of the mages and the Chantry."

"Well, you can both leave if you want, but I'm staying," Merrill stated, arms crossed, mouth set in a firm line. "I will not _abandon_ him, not after everything he's done for me."

"We're not abandoning him," Bethany protested.

"Yes, you are, just like Sebastian did in Kirkwall," she retorted. "At least, that's the way Hawke will see it. Then, when he does snap out of his funk and decide to get on with his life, he'll hate you the same as he hates our stubborn prince."

The other two looked at each other and then down at the table. Fenris knew that what Merrill said could certainly happen, and he wasn't comfortable with the idea that Hawke would view him in the same light as the prince. Bethany was pretty sure that the Dalish was exaggerating things. Her brother could be stubborn, and it might take him a while to understand what she did, but he would never hate her for it.

"Even if Hawke ends up hating me, which I doubt, I still can't stay here for however long it takes him to come around," Bethany sighed. "When Stroud agreed to take me, he made it clear that if he did this, then I would be obligated to devote the rest of my life to the Wardens. That my family might see me only rarely or not at all. Liam accepted that then and he will have to accept it now."

"And what about you Fenris?" Merrill pressed. "I know that you think your presence here hasn't helped, but your absence would definitely hurt. Hawke's not so self absorbed that he doesn't know we're here. You, more than anyone else, were his best friend, still are in fact. Please, just give it a little while longer."

Fenris thought about it for a while before finally nodding. "All right, after I've seen his highness safely to Denerim I'll return here, for a little while at least."

"Thank you," Merrill beamed at him.

"I'll stay, at least until Fenris returns, but after that I'm not making any promises," Bethany sighed. "I just hope that there's some kind of change in my brother soon. The Wardens will get tired of waiting and if they order me to return, then I'll have no choice but to leave."

"I think that things will change sooner than you think, you'll see," Merrill grinned at them, ignoring the eye rolling and impatient sighs.

"On that note, I think I'll retire to my tent," Fenris stood up. When Sebastian had decided to stay, he'd offered the elf one of his soldier's tents. The idea was too appealing to pass up, and it made more room in the hut for the girls, something they all considered a bonus.

When he was gone, Merrill stood and went over to the small bookshelf where she kept her books. She selected a tome about the history of the Dales and then went to sit in the chair by the fire. "If you want Bethany, I could read you some of this to pass the time."

"Thanks Merrill, but I think I'll pay a visit to Sebastian," she declined. "I want to hear his side of the story, just to make sure that there isn't anything important Liam left out."

"Okay," the Dalish shrugged and opened the book.

Bethany stopped just outside the door to take a deep breath. What she'd told the others was true, the Wardens would eventually call her back. What she hadn't said was that the Warden Commander had pretty much told her that she would not be needed for a few months, possibly not until the end of the summer, and to take as much or as little time as needed until then. Even though they usually didn't care about the personal or family problems a member might have, they did not like to burn any political bridges. Liam was still the Champion of Kirkwall, a noble with many connections, and a man highly respected by Alistair, the King of Ferelden.

She sighed and headed for Sebastian's tent. Hopefully the situation would improve sooner rather than later. She was growing weary of the seemingly never ending task of taking care of her brother.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Liam awoke with a start, not having intended to actually sleep again that night. He'd only wanted to wait until he was sure the others were well and truly settled. As he looked over to make sure Bethany was asleep, he saw a flash of light outside the window. It was followed shortly by a peal of thunder. That was probably what woke him, for which he was grateful. He had waited long enough and was ready for it all to end.

Sitting up, he sat on the side of the bed just listening for any sounds indicating the others were still awake. After hearing nothing for several minutes, he got to his feet and moved to the door, stepping over the board he knew squeaked. He lifted the door up slightly as he opened it to keep the hinges from creaking. Bethany had always been a light sleeper and the least little noise would wake her, which would ruin his plans. He stepped through and then moved silently towards the door of the hut, pausing only once to gaze upon Ripper asleep in front of the fire.

In years past, his faithful mabari would have been instantly on alert at the slightest movement from him. It was uncanny how tuned the dog was to him. But Ripper was getting old and was no longer as quick or alert as he used to be. He felt a momentary sadness at the thought of leaving the dog alone, but then dismissed it. Ripper got on well with Fenris and the elf returned his affection. They would have each other. Saying a silent goodbye to the hound, he opened the door and left the hut.

He made his way out and around to the back and down to Anders' grave, ignoring the light rainfall. He stood looking down on it for a while before finally sitting cross-legged beside it. As he did, the heavens finally opened up and it began to pour. It quickly soaked through the light linen shirt and trousers he was wearing and pasted his hair to his skull. On any other night he would have been annoyed, but the weather fit his mood and he found he didn't mind it as much as he might have. With a sigh, he pulled the small dagger from the waistband of his trousers and held it in his open hand. He had a few things to get off his chest first.

"I know that wherever you are that you can hear me Anders," he said softly. "I kept trying to come up with a reason to go on, but have found none. I know that you, of all people, would understand why I must do this. You once said that there were worse things than death. I didn't really believe you then, but I do now. Living without you, trying to go on with the knowledge of the messes I made these past years, it's all too much to bear.

"I've done a lot of thinking, now that there's nothing to distract me, and I've realized just how many things I should've done differently. I should have stopped Carver from taking on that ogre. I should have left Bethany at home when we left for the Deep Roads. I should have insisted on meeting Mother's suitor. I should have refused to follow through with your plan. And that's just the major ones.

"There is so much that I wish I could have done differently. But the one and only thing I don't regret is letting you into my life and heart. Doing that was one of the few right decisions I made." He fell silent and simply stared at the headstone.

Sebastian couldn't sleep. The periodic thunder and light pitter pat of rain on the canvas was keeping him awake. That wasn't entirely true. The situation with Hawke was also weighing heavily on his mind. Being here with those he once called friends had made him remember all the things they'd seen and done together. It had also caused him to look deeper into the decisions he'd made since Elthina died, and the reasons behind them.

He had had plenty of time to think about everything that had happened. And finally he could admit that Hawke was right. He had come seeking revenge, not justice. Finding out that Anders was dead, and how he had died, had taken the wind out of his sails and left him feeling cast adrift. It hadn't taken long for the realization to sink in that he had nothing left. His home was gone, the man he'd been focused on for over a year was gone, and his friends were gone too. He had no clue what he was going to do with his life now, and no one to share it with either.

With a growl of annoyance, he climbed out of his bedroll. He would go inside the hut where the noise of the rain would be muffled. Maybe he would be able to actually get some sleep tonight. As he crawled through the flap and stood up, he caught a slight movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned towards it, his hand automatically reaching for the dagger he kept in his boot, expecting to see some kind of wild animal. He was shocked to see Hawke taking a seat on the ground next to the grave. Curiosity had him moving silently to stand behind a tree near the man. What he heard as he stood there shocked him to the core.

Unaware that he had an audience, Liam continued to bare his soul to his dead lover. "We never discussed it, but I know that you were aware that you were my second choice. I know you suspected that I had feelings for Sebastian, which I did. I even thought that there could have been something more between us. We shared one glorious night together, but in the cold light of day he denied what we had and left me. I waited and watched for months for any sign that he would return to me, but it never came. It hurt me and left me feeling unwanted.

"So when you came on to me and offered yourself I was more than eager to have you. It was nice to know that at least someone desired me and wasn't ashamed to be with me. When you told me you loved me, however, I should have said something about the prince and my feelings for him. I kept silent because I didn't want to be alone anymore.

"I never expected to fall in love with you. I still had feelings for Sebastian, but you slowly gained more of my heart. You gave everything you had: to me, to the poor and sick, to your cause. Your passion and your humor won me over. You had a purpose in life, something bigger and grander than yourself. That was something I'd been looking for all my life and you gave it to me. You showed more conviction each day than most people showed in their entire lives. You put Sebastian to shame. He always talked about whether or not he would take his throne back or dedicate himself to the Chantry fully. He never made a decision, merely waffled for all those years. You did more than talk, you acted, and I loved you for that."

Sebastian hung his head as those words hit home. Hawke had wanted him and he'd shut him out. He had been undecisive about what to do with his life. Hawke was a man of action, not words, and would have been drawn to those like him. What was worse though, was the knowledge that Hawke did indeed love Anders. He hadn't wanted to believe it, had wanted to think it was nothing more than a fling, but he could no longer deny the truth. He was about to step forward when Hawke began speaking again.

"Every time I saw you practically exhaust yourself trying to save others, knowing that you'd get little more than a thank you for your efforts, I fell a little more in love with you. But the one thing that sealed it for me was the night my mother died. You offered to let me take my anger at that evil mage out on you. You told me I could beat you, hurt you, do whatever I needed to do to ease the pain I felt. And for a moment I was tempted, you were a mage after all. Instead I held you tight and cried and you let me. You didn't say anything, you were just there for me in a way no one else ever was.

"And now you're gone. I should have refused to go along with your plan. I should have made you leave with me and keep searching for a better answer. You were my purpose, you were my life, and there's no reason for me to go on. I hope one day the others will understand," he finished and took up the dagger.

Sebastian saw the gleam of metal and felt horror fill him as he realized what Hawke was about to do. He couldn't let it happen. He rushed forward and grabbed Hawke around the shoulders, his hand grasping the other man's wrist in order to stop the plunge of the blade.

Liam at first was shocked when he felt someone grab him and then he became angry. He knew who it was. "Let me go Sebastian!"

"I can't let you do this Hawke," the prince growled. "You can't throw your life away like this."

"I have no life anymore," he cried, struggling against the other man's hold.

"Yes you do!" Sebastian used his greater strength to draw the blade away from Hawke. He increased the pressure until finally Hawke's hand opened and the blade fell to the ground.

Rage filled him and Hawke lunged to his feet, pulling away from the prince and then spinning around and punching him full in the face. He watched in satisfaction as the prince staggered backwards, holding his nose, from which blood was pouring. Then he leapt forward and slammed into the other man and driving him to the ground. He began hitting him, yelling curses at him with each blow.

Sebastian deflected the blows as best he could. He would have been happy to just lie there and take it, knowing that when it was over Hawke would be too exhausted to continue his insane attempt to kill himself. However, even though the warrior no longer had the enormous strength he used to, he could still do serious damage and there was no healer with them to patch them up afterwards. With tremendous effort, he managed to roll his lower body and throw the other man off. He scrambled to his feet just in time to dodge Hawke's next rush.

Liam was furious, the prince was fucking everything up, again. He threw another punch, and another, and another, but each time Sebastian deflected it and dodged away. "Fight me, damn you."

"No Hawke," the prince shook his head. "I don't want to fight you." He kept dancing and dodging, looking for an opening. Finally, he saw Hawke slip a little on the muddy ground and he rushed forward, slamming into the other man and bodily bringing him down. After a brief struggle, he managed to pin Hawke on his stomach, an arm pressed tightly to the back of the man's neck. Then he waited.

Liam tried to unseat the prince, but he was too tired and weak. Finally, he stopped and lay there panting. His anger died and was replaced with despair. He'd failed again. "Let me go," he pleaded softly.

Sebastian knew that he wouldn't get a better opportunity to talk to Hawke. "I won't, not until I've said what I have to say." He paused and then practically whispered, "I'm so sorry Hawke for all that you have suffered. Knowing that I'm responsible for most of that pain kills me. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Liar."

"Not this time," Sebastian shook his head. "I'm done lying, to myself and to you. You were right, I was seeking revenge. I was so angry over Elthina's death that it blinded me to anything else. But more than that, I hated Anders for taking you away from me."

"What?" Liam was shocked.

"I never forgot that night we shared," he continued softly. "I know I hurt you, I could see it in your eyes. You tried several times to get me to talk about it and I tuned you out, hurting you again and again. I was afraid of what you had made me feel and so I ran and hid, from myself and you. Finally, you gave up on me, but I could never really let go. Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought that one day I would have the courage to be open with you. Then Anders came into the picture."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Fear, doubt, I don't know," the prince sighed. "I thought you were using the mage to get back at me, that your relationship was nothing more than a fling. But as the months passed, I realized that it wasn't and I became jealous. In my eyes, Anders stole you from me, but in truth you were never mine to begin with. And that's my fault for not speaking up. But I never hated you."

Liam's mind was reeling. He'd never expected to hear the prince say these things. "Why say anything now? Why did you stop me?"

"Because I want the opportunity to make amends and show you that you didn't fail us," came the soft response. "It's we who failed you. I can't do that if you're dead." Sebastian paused as a sudden inspiration took him. "From what I've learned, it seems that Anders was most concerned with protecting you. He didn't want you to die for him. If you kill yourself now, then you will truly have failed him."

Those last words hit home and Liam felt the wall around his emotions crumble to dust. He began to cry. All the grief he'd held back came pouring out of him. His whole body began to shake with the force of his sobs.

Sebastian finally moved off Hawke to sit beside him. He rested one hand on the man's shoulder and waited. He sensed a presence and turned his head to see Fenris standing nearby watching him. "I take it we woke you with all the yelling."

"Yes," the elf nodded and moved to squat next to them. "The girls and Ripper too. I told them to wait in the hut until I checked out what was going on." He fixed his gaze on the prince, "What exactly happened here?"

Sebastian hesitated before shrugging, "A difference of opinion." He heard the elf snort and smiled ruefully at how lame the answer was. "Hawke was going to kill himself tonight. I couldn't let him do it."

Fenris nodded, "I suspected he would try to do something like this. I could see the signs." He shivered as a cold trickle of water seeped down his neck. It was still pouring and they were all soaked to the skin. "Let's get out of this rain," he said and stood up, moving around the other side of Hawke. He bent down and grabbed one of the man's arms, gesturing to Sebastian to grab the other. Together they managed to get Hawke on his feet. They led him without protest to the hut and inside.

"Maker's breath, you're all soaked," Bethany exclaimed and hurriedly got some towels. "Get next to the fire and get out of those wet clothes before you catch your death of cold," she scolded.

Merrill saw Sebastian blush and grinned, "Don't be shy, you've got nothing I haven't seen before."

The two men stripped Hawke and then themselves, leaving on only their small clothes. Bethany handed them two towels and wrapped the last one around her brother, briskly rubbing him dry. She said nothing, merely studied his face. She could see tears rolling down his face and a sense of relief washed over her. He hadn't cried at all since the night Anders died. Whatever had happened tonight seemed to have broken through the shell her brother had been encased in. Now maybe he would be able to move on with his life. At least she hoped he would.

Merrill, meanwhile, had gathered up all the muddy clothes and dumped them into the wash tub. She then grabbed an oiled skin and her cloak. "I'll go get you two some dry clothes to put on."

"Come on Liam, let's get you into bed," Bethany had finished drying him off and was leading him to the bedroom. She helped him get under the covers and tucked him in, then sat on the edge holding his hand.

With a concerned whine, Ripper came over and sat by the bed. His master was upset and he didn't like it. He wanted to make his master happy again. He wanted to play fetch and go hunting and share the happy things they used to do together.

"He'll be okay boy," Bethany petted the dog's head. "Just give him a little more time." She turned her head to look at her brother and saw his eyes were closed. "Liam?" When she got no response she realized that he must have fallen asleep. Figuring he would be fine for a while, she decided it was time to get some answers.

The men had changed into dry clothes and Merrill had stoked the fire and put on water for tea. All three looked at Bethany as she closed the bedroom door behind her. They said nothing until she moved to sit at the table and motioned them to join her.

"How is he?" Merrill finally asked.

"He's asleep," the other girl replied before fixing a stern gaze upon the prince. "What exactly happened out there?"

"Hawke was going to kill himself tonight," he sighed. "I managed to stop him. We fought, then had a few words with each other."

"If he is truly determined to end his life, then all you've done is postponed his attempt," Fenris told him.

"Maybe," Sebastian conceded, "but I think it's less likely now."

"What makes you think that? What did you talk about?" Bethany pressed.

Sebastian debated silently for a while on how much to tell them. He didn't know how much Hawke would want them to know. He didn't think it was his place to share all that he'd heard that night. Some of it was quite personal, and he wasn't ready to divulge those particular details.

"Are you going to answer her?" Merrill broke into his thoughts.

"Grief and anger were not the only emotions Hawke's been dealing with," he told them. "Apparently he's been harboring a great deal of guilt for years. Since you fled Lothering in fact."

"Guilt?" Bethany was puzzled. "Over what?"

"His brother's death, his mother's death, the expedition, to name a few." He paused as Merrill got up to get the water for their tea. When she'd finished fixing them each a cup and passed them out, he went on. "He feels he should have done more to prevent all these tragedies."

"That's ridiculous," Bethany snorted. "He's can't hold himself responsible for things he had no control over."

"You're absolutely right," Sebastian agreed. "But, he blames himself anyway. I think I've convinced him to give us a chance to show him that he's wrong."

"That may prove harder than we think," Fenris mused. "He's had years to dwell on it. Who knows how long it will take to change his mind."

"What else did you talk about?" Merrill looked at the prince.

"It's personal and Hawke's to share if he wishes to do so," he said firmly. He wasn't about to reveal his feelings towards the warrior to the others. At least not until he'd had more time to talk to the man. He yawned then and recalled how he'd not been able to get much sleep yet that night.

"You're tired and all this can wait until morning," Bethany had noticed.

"There are a couple of extra blankets here if you two want to sleep by the fire tonight," Merrill offered.

"The weather doesn't bother me, I've slept in worse conditions," Fenris stood up and drained his tea. "I assume that you won't be leaving for Denerim tomorrow?" Seeing the prince shake his head, he bid them all good night and he left.

Sebastian had planned to sleep inside tonight and took Merrill up on the offer. He wanted to be nearby just in case Hawke did something rash again that night. He took the blanket and spare pillow the Dalish gave him and settled himself on the hearth.

Merrill, who seldom needed much sleep, wasn't feeling tired anymore, and so she picked up the book she'd been reading and settled into her usual chair. She eyed the prince as he tried to get comfortable. She suspected that what he didn't want to talk about had to do with his personal feelings towards Hawke. She was dying of curiosity, but managed to refrain from pestering him.

Bethany had returned to the room and lain down on her side facing her brother. She smiled as she saw that Ripper had somehow managed to squeeze himself onto the small bed next to his master. One of Liam's hands had moved to rest on the dog's back. She had managed to sleep fairly well for a change and wasn't all that tired. She figured she would be able to keep a close eye on her brother. Despite Sebastian's assurances, she didn't want to give Liam another opportunity to do something stupid.

She went over in her mind about what the prince had said. Her mother may have initially blamed Liam for Carver's death, but that had been grief talking. She hadn't really meant it. However, the damage had apparently already been done. She thought about how angry and resentful she'd been with Liam for giving her to the Wardens. She had once thought it would have been better if she'd died, it had been that bad. If the prince was right, then Liam harbored guilt for that situation. Which meant she was partly responsible for the state he was in now.

The thought that some of this was her fault made her want to cry. She vowed to make a concerted effort to talk to her brother about it. She could be just as stubborn as him when she wanted to be. He'd always had seemed so strong and confident that she never even considered that he might have doubts. Tomorrow, they were going to have a long talk, whether he wanted to or not.

Sometime after dawn she jerked awake to the sound of Ripper barking and whining. She sat up quickly and looked towards the other bed. The dog was standing over Liam and seemed to be agitated. She got up and went over to see what was wrong. She heard her brother mumbling and moaning and figured he was having a nightmare. She touched his arm to try and wake him and gasped, "Maker no." He was burning up with fever.

"Merrill, Sebastian!" she cried as she ran out of the room.

The two of them, having started to wake due to the dog, jerked fully awake at the fear they heard in her voice. "What's wrong? Is it Hawke?" Sebastian asked as he jumped up.

"He's burning up," Bethany said, despair filling her. "I never learned anything more than basic healing. What are we going to do?"

Merrill walked calmly over to her and took her hands. "I learned much about treating illness and injury from Keeper Marethari. There are many treatments we can try that don't require any magic. We'll get him through this, don't worry."

"Truly?" she said hopefully.

"Truly," the little Dalish assured her. "Let's get busy, we've a lot to do and it's going to take some time, and we don't have any to waste. We may have to try different herbs and teas to find what works. Humans tend to react differently than elves to certain things."

"Are you sure you can do this?" Sebastian worred.

Merrill looked at him with narrowed eyes, "Why do you doubt me? Unless you suspect that I'm still using blood magic."

"No, no, it's just you never said anything about it before," he held out his hands in appeasement. "When we travelled together and all."

"That's because no one ever bothered to ask me," she sniffed. "You all were happy relying on Anders for healing."

Sebastian nodded and said, "Tell us what we need to do."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Sebastian sat in the chair beside Hawke's bed, desperately trying to stay awake. It had taken Merrill most of the first day to concoct an herbal remedy for the warrior's fever. Despite pleas for her to hurry up, the Dalish had remained steadfast in her refusal to do so. She had been patient and cautious, the complete opposite of how she'd been in the past, knowing that a mistake could end up killing her patient. Once she'd been successful, the real work had began.

The tea had to be drunk within minutes of being brewed for maximum effect, and it had needed to be given to Hawke every four hours or so. It was also necessary to apply cooling clothes to his skin every time his temperature rose. This required that one of them be awake and with Hawke at all times. Sebastian had chosen to bear the brunt of the duty and had refused to be swayed. It was now the wee hours of the third day, and he was exhausted. Even when he'd tried to rest, his sleep had been disturbed by dreams of Hawke dying before he had a chance to ask forgiveness, or right the wrongs he'd done him. He'd prayed to the Maker and Andraste constantly for Hawke to recover, and never had he meant those prayers more in his life.

All was silent and still in the hut, except for the slight snores issuing from Bethany's mouth as the woman slept on the other small bed. Even Hawke seemed to be less restless now, which could only be a good sign. He started to nod off and jerked awake, determined not to sleep on the job.

Some time later, a slight noise brought him awake. He blinked, rubbed his hand over his eyes and looked around, trying to determine what he'd heard. He was just about to dismiss it as his being tired when he heard it again.

"Water."

He looked at the bed and saw Hawke looking back. He got up and leaned over the man, placing one hand to Hawke's forehead. Finding it was cool, he breathed a prayer of thanks. "Hold on and I'll get you some."

Liam watched the prince leave the room quietly. He tried to sit up but his body felt weak and tired. He allowed himself to relax back against the pillow and tried to remember what happened. He'd tried to kill himself and Sebastian had stopped him, but after that it was a fuzzy blur.

Sebastian returned with a mug of water and slipped his arm around Hawke to support his head as he drank. "Slowly," he cautioned. When the mug was empty, he eased Hawke back against the pillows and then sat back in the chair.

"What happened?" Liam croaked.

"You've been sick Hawke, really sick," he answered. "If it wasn't for Merrill, you probably would have died."

"Tired."

"Go back to sleep, we'll talk later," Sebastian told him. It was still early, and there was no need to wake the others. He settled back in the chair to await the dawn.

"How is he?"

The soft question startled Sebastian awake. He looked up at Bethany who was standing over him. "He woke up early this morning and asked for water. His forehead was cool to the touch. I think he's out of danger now."

"As soon as he is awake enough, dear brother and I are going to have a long talk," she told him. When he looked at her in puzzlement, she explained. "I thought about what you told us last night. I'm partly to blame for his feelings of guilt. I wasn't too happy with his decision to hand me over to the Wardens and let him know it."

"If he hadn't, you would have suffered a slow and painful death," he replied.

"At the time, I thought it would have been better if he had killed me, like that Templar Wesley," the girl sighed. "But, I forgave him long ago and accepted what happened as the Maker's plan for me. I just never got a chance to tell him."

"Well, now you have that chance, we all have that chance," he sighed.

"Chance for what?"

They both looked around to see Hawke watching them. "Are you hungry Liam?" Bethany asked. When he nodded, she hurried off to fix some porridge.

"How long have I been out of it?" Liam asked.

"This is the third day," Sebastian answered.

"You mentioned something about Merrill?"

"Yes, apparently our little Dalish knows a great deal about herbal treatments and medicine," Sebastian shook his head. "If not for her, you would've died. You owe her your life."

"I don't remember much of what happened after our fight," Liam frowned, trying to bring the fuzzy memories together so they made sense.

"We'll talk about it when you're stronger," Sebastian soothed. "Would you like some more water?"

Liam nodded and watched him leave. He heard muffled voices and rightly determined that the prince was talking with Merrill and Fenris. Shortly afterward, the Dalish entered the room and came right over to him. He waited silently as she examined him.

"Your eyes are clear, your temperature seems to be normal, and your breathing is relaxed," she pronounced. "I'd say you're over the worst of the fever, but I still want you take the medicine I made for you for the rest of the day. Just to be on the safe side."

"Sebastian says I owe you my life," he told her softly.

Merrill shook her head, "You don't owe me anything Hawke. You saved me all those years ago. We're even on that." She turned and left the room to help Bethany with breakfast.

After he finished eating the porridge his sister brought, he fell asleep again. When next he awoke, it was to see Fenris sitting in the chair by his bed. Glancing at the window, he could see that it was sometime after noon.

"Feeling better?" the elf asked shortly.

"Yes."

"Good, because I have a few things to say to you," he stood up and crossed his arms over his chest, a scowl forming on his face. "If it weren't for Merrill, you would've died. Even though we all helped, she and Sebastian were the ones primarily responsible for that not happening. You tried to kill yourself and Sebastian stopped you. What I want to know is if our efforts were for naught. Did we save you only to have you turn around and try to kill yourself again? Or is Sebastian right that it's no longer a possibility."

Liam felt very small right at that moment. By the way the elf was holding himself so rigidly, it was obvious that he was very angry. "I thought that there was nothing left for me. Some things Sebastian said that night have made me think otherwise." He paused for a moment and then said, "I've haven't been sick like this since I was a kid."

"Merrill found some small cuts on your feet that had scabbed over," Fenris told him flatly. "She thinks you got some kind of infection from it. You haven't been eating or bathing properly for the last month or so. So it should come as no surprise that you got so sick."

Liam grimaced at the censure he heard in the elf's voice. "I guess I have some changes to make."

"You do, and we'll be here to help you," Sebastian had come into the room unnoticed. He came to stand beside the bed. "We're also going to have some long, heart-to-heart talks," he finished firmly.

"The day before you got sick, Sebastian had decided to leave for Denerim, and I was going to go with him," Fenris spoke again. "Neither of us would have come back, for there seemed no reason to. We were going to let you live or die as you chose. We can still leave if that's what you want."

"No, no I want you to stay," Liam shook his head. "I'll need help getting back on my feet. I promise, no more wallowing in grief or trying to end things," he finished solemnly.

"Good enough," the elf nodded and turned and left.

Sebastian took a seat and leaned forward, his hands folded, his gaze on his feet. "I heard most of what you said that night Hawke," he said softly. "It opened my eyes, in more ways than one. I know about the guilt that you feel, wrongly so, for much of the tragedy that's befallen you since you fled Lothering. We're going to talk about this, and other things. But, I'm not the only one who has some things to say to you."

"All of that can wait until after supper at least," Bethany had come to the door, holding a bowl of stew. "Yours is waiting for you at the table Sebastian."

Liam waited until the prince had left before giving his sister a small smile, "Are you planning on feeding me?"

"I think you can manage on your own," she retorted as she held the bowl and spoon out to him. After he took it, she went and got her own dinner, then returned, closing the door behind her.

Liam watched as she took the chair by the bed and started to eat. "I'm guessing you want to talk to me."

"Finish your food first."

He did so, watching her face the entire time. He saw her frown a few times and knew, from past experience, that she was gearing up for a big lecture. She reminded him so much of their mother right then that it brought tears to his eyes. He finished his supper and placed the empty bowl and spoon on the floor. Then he waited.

Bethany finished her dinner quickly, also placing her dishes on the floor. Sitting back in the chair, she fixed her brother with a steady gaze. "Sebastian says that you've been blaming yourself for not only Carver's death, but my going into the Deep Roads."

"When father lay dying, he made me swear to look after all of you," he answered quietly. "You were both my responsibility and yet at the first real test of that, I let him down."

"Bullshit!" she snorted, startling him. "You seem to forget that we were both adults at the time, with our own minds and opinions about things. There is no way you could have stopped Carver from taking on that ogre."

"I could have stepped between him and the monster," Liam protested.

"Really? Because that's not what I remember," she shook her head. "You were on the other side of that clearing with me and we had a large group of darkspawn coming towards us really fast. If you had gone to help our brother, I would have been left to face them alone. I would have been the one to die that day."

"I wouldn't have just left you, I could've dragged you with me."

"Right, but you didn't do that. Know why?" she asked.

He frowned as he tried to see where she was going with the question. "Why?"

"Right before we fled Lothering, you gave us all very clear, specific orders," she continued. "You told us, in no uncertain terms, that we were to stay as close to you as possible. You specifically told Carver that he wasn't to try to handle any darkspawn on his own. Carver promised to follow your orders, as did we all."

"I don't see what you're getting at."

"Simply this," she folded her arms across her chest. "After the ogre's charge seperated us, you would have expected Carver to grab mother and move towards you, away from the ogre, because that's what we promised to do. The ogre was big and menacing, but they would have been able to avoid it long enough. I knew him better than you and I can guarantee that Mother's safety or your orders were not what was on his mind right at that moment. He saw his chance for glory and to show his big brother that he was every bit as good as you. He let his personal issues cloud his judgement and he failed to follow your orders. That is why he died. It wasn't your fault."

"Mother certainly felt it was my fault."

"No she didn't," Bethany argued. "She even told you as much, but apparently you weren't really listening." She could see he wasn't sure whether to believe her or not. "She was grieving, but once that passed she was able to look back at that day and see Carver's actions for what they really were. She even tried to talk to you about it once, but you told her that it was water under the bridge, so she let the subject drop."

Liam was silent for a long time, thinking over his sister's words. Finally he said, "You're not just saying this to try to make me feel better."

"Liam, when have I ever couched my words to spare your feelings?" she asked in exasperation. "You're the only one of the family I didn't have to do that with. All his life Carver was reckless and hot tempered. Don't you remember the numerous times he'd throw a tantrum just to get his way as a little boy? He also lied about things all the time. Nothing was ever his fault. Mother is to blame for much of that. She felt sorry that he wasn't a mage like father and me. Felt sorry that he wasn't as big and strong or as good at physical activities as you. She let him get away with it and so he grew up to be a big, lying, showoff. Stop blaming yourself and move on."

Liam held her gaze for a long time and finally nodded. "I forgot about a lot of the things he used to do."

"Not surprising really," Bethany shrugged. "You had so much to worry about after Lothering. In hindsight, going to Kirkwall wasn't the best choice for us. Even mother agreed that we might have been better off staying in Ferelden."

"I never heard her say anything like that."

"She didn't want to add to the burdens you already carried," she sighed. "She hated living in Gamlen's house yes, but she hated the things you were forced to do even more. Of course, when the decision was made, none of us knew what a lying, cheating, piece of shit Uncle Gamlen was. That hurt her deeply you know. That her own brother could steal from her. Carver may have had his faults, and he fucked a lot of things up, but his loyalty to us was never in question. He would never have done something like that."

"You've changed quite a bit," Liam chuckled. Seeing the puzzled look she gave him he elaborated. "I don't remember you swearing like that before."

"I spent the past few years battling wretched darkspawn in dark, underground tunnels, with a bunch of rough and tumble male wardens," she laughed too. "You lose your innocence and inhibitions quickly."

They sat quietly together, each lost in their thoughts for a while. The light was beginning to fade as the sun set, but still Bethany remained seated and the others left them alone. "Did you tell the others not to disturb us for a while?" Liam asked her finally.

"Mmhmm," she nodded. "I also wanted to talk to you about what happened after the Deep Roads."

"You don't know how many times I've wished I never brought you with me."

"Well stop it," she said firmly. "If I hadn't have gone with you, then most likely I would have ended up being grabbed by templars and forced into the circle, if they didn't execute me on the spot. You and mother could have been fined, imprisoned, or both just for haboring an illegal mage."

"Mother was devastated that you didn't come back," Liam told her. "She cried for almost a whole week straight. Even when she stopped crying, it still took a long time for her to get over your loss."

"If I had been taken to the circle, I would have been just as lost to you, same as being killed or made Tranquil," she argued. "They don't let apostates out of their sights, ever. If you didn't grow up in the circle, you weren't to be trusted. At least with the Wardens I had freedom and the chance to use my powers to help others, which is all I ever wanted out of life."

"You were so angry with me," he argued. "The few letters you sent practically bled with it."

"I can't tell you what is involved with becoming a Grey Warden, it's forbidden. However, after I survived the Joining, I had so many nightmares that I found it hard to sleep. Then we were constanly going into the Deep Roads and battling hordes of darkspawn. My waking life seemed to be one long nightmare and my sleep was no better. For a long time I thought it would have been better if you'd killed me."

Liam saw the haunted look in her eyes and felt a pang of guilt, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I'm not, at least not anymore," she shook her head. "Sure, it was rough at first, but then Stroud kind of took me under his wing. He showed me ways to block the darkspawn out and how to keep hold of my sanity. It's not exactly a pleasant life, but it is rewarding work."

"There was something else behind your anger, wasn't there?"

"Well, you know how we talked one day of having families and children of our own?" she asked him and saw him nod. "The Joining wreaks havoc on our bodies. It is difficult, if not downright impossible, for a Grey Warden to have children."

"Oh Bethany," Liam felt tears threaten once again. "I know how much you wanted a child of your own some day."

"That was just wishful thinking on my part," she looked up from her hands. "If I had somehow managed to avoid the templars and did find someone with whom to start a family, I would have subjected him and any children of ours to the same kind of life we had. Only another apostate would be accepting of such a thing. And if we were ever caught, we'd be executed or worse."

"There was always the Circle," he pointed out.

She shook her head, "Even if a Circle mage has a child, the templars don't allow them to keep it. They don't allow you to get married, and they certainly don't allow relationships of an intimate nature to blossom."

"So it was always an impossible dream for you then," he said softly.

"Not impossible, but highly unlikely," she smiled. "But, I wouldn't trade the life I have now for anything. I still have you, and the Wardens are like one big family. It's not always doom and gloom with us. We do know how to have a good time. It's not the perfect life, but then what is?"

"I once thought that I would find the perfect life," he said after a while. "I thought all I would have to do would be get the estate back for Mother and see that she was well and truly settled. Then I would find a nice man to settle down with back in Lothering. We would rebuild what was lost, maybe take in kids who'd lost their parents."

"But events in Kirkwall swept you up in them and those plans seemed to be an impossible dream," she echoed his earlier words.

"That happened yes, but I never counted on falling in love with someone like Anders," he sighed.

"I always liked Anders," she smiled. "He was so kind and giving, and he wasn't afraid to live life. He had a heart of gold and the best intentions."

"Yes, he did," Liam smiled in memory. "He also had a wicked sense of humor. And at the darkest point in my life, he was there, like a shining ray of hope. He gave freely of himself, with no expectation of getting anything in return. I just wish-"

"What?" she coaxed.

"I just wish he'd never let Justice inside him or that there was some way we could have seperated them."

"I know that Sebastian is the reason you took such a desperate measure in Amaranthine," she told him softly. "I also believe him when he says that he's sorry for what happened. If I were to hazard a guess, I would say that he's in love with you. Love can be blind and can make us do some pretty stupid things. It can also inspire us to be better and accomplish great things."

Liam looked sharply at her, "What makes you think that?"

"I've seen the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching," she smirked. "It's the same look father and mother used to get when they looked at each other. Also, Merrill hinted that it was a possibility, based on what she observed in Kirkwall."

Liam frowned, "I'm not ready to go there Bethany."

"Fair enough," she agreed. "The only thing that concerns me is your happiness brother." She saw him yawn and stood up. "I think you should try and get some more sleep. I don't want you having a relapse."

Liam watched her walk to the door, his mind whirling with everything she'd told him. Just knowing that she was really happy with her life eased a burden he hadn't even known he was carrying. He smiled as Ripper bounded in through the open door. "Hello boy."

Ripper stopped beside the bed and eagerly licked his master's face, his little stub of a tail moving so fast his whole backside wiggled. He finally sat down on the floor and stared at his master, panting happily.

"I guess I worried you as well, didn't I boy," Liam said softly.

Ripper whined and then barked once.

"Well, I promise, things are going to be different from now on," he told the dog. As he said the words, he realized he truly meant them. Sighing softly, he relaxed against the pillows and was soon asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Sebastian watched with some amusement as Hawke wolfed down the plate of venison that had been put before him. It had been three days since he'd gotten up from his sickbed. The man had begun working to get back into shape. After more than a month of sitting around and barely eating, Hawke had not only lost considerable weight, but also the strength he'd once had. The upside was that his appetite had returned with a vengeance and he was quickly gaining back what he'd lost.

"Looks like I'll have to go hunting again tomorrow," he said in amusement.

"Looks that way," Fenris agreed. He turned to the warrior, "If you continue eating this way and training as hard, then I expect that you'll be back in shape in a couple of weeks."

"It was rather embarassing to realize I couldn't swing my sword for more than an hour today," Liam grimaced. "It felt like I was fourteen all over again and just beginning my training."

"At least your skills haven't deteriorated," Sebastian reassured him. "So, it's just a matter of getting your strength back."

Bethany had been eating silently, observing her brother and liking what she saw. He seemed to have come out of his shell and was rejoining the living. She knew that he wasn't out of the woods yet, that he wasn't able to stand on his own. But she also knew that she would be unable to remain with him much longer. She had her duties as a Grey Warden and those couldn't be put off indefinitely.

"I once tried to pick up that big shield of yours," she told him. "I couldn't believe how heavy it was, despite it being made out of silverite."

"Well, silverite is still metal and Hawke is a big man," Fenris shrugged. "It's also been reinforced with dragonbone and steel. Even with my lyrium enhanced strength, I would have a hard time wielding it."

Liam finished off his first plate and went for seconds, piling it high again. "My shield wasn't just there to protect my left side, it doubled as a weapon. The bigger, the better, in my opinion."

Bethany had also finished her first plate and was going for seconds. She looked over at the Dalish girl. "You really know how to cook deer Merrill."

"Dalish are hunters and deer was a staple of our diet," the girl shrugged. "When you rely on one particular animal for most of your meals, you learn many different ways to prepare it so it doesn't lose it's appeal."

The chatter continued around the table. The five of them made short work of the meal and the girls began to clean up. Merrill went over to her backpack and withdrew a deck of cards. Bringing them back to the table she looked at the men still sitting there. "It's been a while since we've done something just for fun. I remember those times we gathered in Varric's room to play Wicked Grace. I have a deck right here."

Liam looked at the cards she held and felt tears come to his eyes. "Anders loved playing that, even though he was a lousy card player," he choked out. He suddenly stood up and moved towards the door, whistling for Ripper to follow.

Merrill watched him leave, a sinking feeling in her stomach. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset him."

Sebastian sighed and stood up as well. "It's not your fault Merrill. A lot of things are going to remind him of what he lost. It will take some time for him to get over the pain."

"If he ever does," Fenris said somberly.

"I think he will," Sebastian said firmly as he turned and left the hut. He looked around and finally spotted Hawke sitting on a fallen tree overlooking the stream He headed in that direction, not making any effort to hide his movement, but the man didn't seem to notice him anyway.

He paused just to the left and a little behind Hawke and looked down. The warrior was sitting slumped over, shoulders shaking. Ripper was sitting with his head in his master's lap, low whines issuing from him. He felt relief go through him that Hawke was crying. It was a good sign, for it meant that the man wasn't bottling up his emotions anymore. He said nothing, but rested his hand lightly on the man's shoulder. Hawke tensed for a moment before slumping again.

Liam finally made an effort to stop the tears, wiping his hand across his face. "Sorry."

"You've nothing to be sorry for," Sebastian said softly. "You've held in your feelings for too long Hawke and that's not healthy. You need to express your pain and anger. Only in that way can you eventually heal and move on."

Sebastian stood there waiting until he heard Hawke sigh heavily and saw him sit up a little. He then moved and sat beside him on the tree, legs stretched out, hands clasped loosely in front of him. He hesitated briefly before saying, "Tell me about the Anders you knew and fell in love with."

Liam looked sharply at the prince. "Why?"

He met Hawke's suspicious gaze with a steady one of his own. "Because it will help you, and because I want to be able to see him as something other than a fanatic and a murderer."

Liam was surprised that the prince was willing to listen. "Back in Kirkwall, you and Anders were on completely opposite sides. You saw nothing wrong with the way mages were treated and thought the Chantry above reproach. Anders saw nothing good about the Circle or the Chantry. Neither of you were willing to admit that you were in the wrong."

"And you saw everything so clearly did you?"

"No, but I was not blind to the faults on both sides," he snorted. He sat thoughtfully for a few minutes gathering his thoughts. "First and foremost, Anders was a healer. He would drain himself dry of power if it meant he could save someone's life. He didn't care about money or power, just about helping those who needed it, and that included me."

Sebastian sat silently as Hawke told him of his life with the apostate. He began to get a picture of a man who was caring and compassionate, but also stubborn and opinionated. Apparently Anders had a wicked sense of humor, a beautiful laugh, and a smile that could steal your breath. That is, when he wasn't going on and on about the mages and their plight. He saw that as the situation in Kirkwall deteriorated, Anders too had become less the man Hawke had fallen in love with. The spirit was gaining more and more control over his host. He shivered as he listened to Hawke tell of times that Anders would disappear for hours or even days, only to return with no memory of where he'd been or what he might have been doing.

"Those were the worst times," Liam said softly. "I knew that I was losing the man I loved to the spirit that inhabited his body. It made me angry and fearful at the same time. Angry that I could do nothing to help Anders, and fearful that he would do something drastic and that I would lose him forever. I guess I became so desperate to find a way to free Anders that it blinded me to anything else."

"What do you mean by that?"

Liam glanced at the prince and then looked down at his hands which were clasped tightly in front of him. "Anders came to me with what he said was a way to free himself from Justice. He needed some specific items and asked for my help to get them. He asked for _drakestone _and _sela petrae_."

"What?" Sebastian jumped to his feet in shock. "Those are used to make-," he broke off when he saw the bleak look enter Hawke's eyes. "You didn't know," he finished softly.

"No," Liam sighed. "My head told me to question Anders intentions, but my heart overruled it. It wasn't until we'd gathered them and returned to the clinic that I began to listen more to my head."

Sebastian took several deep breaths and then retook his seat on the tree. "What happened next?" he asked, his voice carefully neutral. He had a pretty good idea where Hawke was going with this story.

Liam went on, speaking of Anders' request for help sneaking into the Chantry and of his accusing the apostate of lying about what he'd wanted the ingredients for. "He looked me in the eye and told me that if I cared about the plight of mages at all, that if I truly loved him, that I would help him get inside. He said that he couldn't tell me why he needed to, just to trust him that what we were doing would help every mage who'd ever suffered at the hands of the Templars."

"You helped him," the prince stated flatly.

"Maker forgive me," the warrior whispered, "but I did. I knew it was wrong, but by that point I was too afraid to say no. I was too afraid he would leave me and that I would be alone." He looked up at the prince. "I'm just as responsible for the destruction of the Chantry as Anders," he cried in anguish.

Sebastian felt himself reeling from the shock of this revelation. He didn't know what to think or what to say. His thoughts turned to something the warrior had said. "You said you were afraid of being alone. What did you mean?"

"I was afraid that if I didn't help him, that he would leave me," Liam said softly. "I'd already lost so much that I loved. I couldn't lose him too."

"You still had us, your friends, and Bethany," Sebastian said softly.

"That's not the same and you know it," Liam said angrily. "Friends don't keep your bed warm at night, or hold you in their arms when you have nightmares. Bethany is a Grey Warden and they are her family now. Anders was the only real family I had left."

Sebastian looked away, unable to argue with that statement. He felt a renewed anger flare towards Anders. The man had used Hawke's love as a weapon to bend the warrior to his will, or rather to Justice's will. The anger died as quickly as it had flared. Perhaps more of the blame for the tragedy could be laid at the spirit's feet than otherwise. The Anders who healed the sick and the poor was not the kind of man who would countenance the slaughter of innocent people, or the type to use love as a weapon. Joining with the spirit, though done with the best intentions, had warped both of them into something evil. "It seems like, in the end, that Anders became the abomination that I always accused him of being."

Liam opened his mouth to protest that statement and then stopped. He knew that it was true and it was this knowledge that had led him, eventually, to take the drastic steps to seperate the man he loved from the spirit that was controlling him. "Yes, by the time the Chantry was destroyed, the spirit could manifest itself at will. Anders was losing the battle," he whipered, his voice pained.

After a long silence, Sebastian spoke again. "I did some research on spirit possession myself. I wanted to see if there was any record of such things as good spirits."

"The Chantry sees no difference between spirit and demon, and teaches that all mages are just abominations waiting to happen," Liam retorted angrily. "They use that as justification for treating mages like they're less than human. Of course you would think he lied."

Sebastian waited calmly for him to subside. "I didn't look through Chantry records, I went to the Circle. I know what the Chantry says about such things. What I was looking for was a more unbiased view."

"Oh," Liam sat down again, the anger draining from him. "Sorry. It's a touchy subject for me."

"You didn't used to be so against the Chantry," the prince pursed his lips thoughtfully. "When did you change your mind?"

Liam hedged, "You tell me what you found and then I'll tell you what I learned that changed my viewpoint."

Sebastian nodded, "Fair enough." He sat for a moment gathering his thoughts. "According to tomes and texts in the Circle library, the spirits of the Fade were the Maker's first children. That they were set aside in favor of mankind. Some of them became resentful of us and began to look for ways to make us fall from favor. These became known as demons and they preyed upon mankind's faults and fears. Others were more accepting of the Maker's will, though they were saddened by the loss of his favor. They decided to try and embody the good things about mankind, our virtues as it were."

"Like Honor, Fortitude, Compassion," Liam nodded.

"And Justice," Sebastian added softly. "They took it upon themselves to stand in opposition to the demons and try to safeguard our dreams."

"How did whoever wrote these things come by the knowledge?" Liam was puzzled.

"These were things written by mages from ages ago who traversed the Fade and talked with the spirits there," he answered. "They sought to understand why and how demons possessed mages. This is what they were told supposedly."

"So why is it that we don't see these good spirits?" Liam eyed him. "Before Anders, I didn't even know that such things could exist. And in the beginning, Justice didn't seem to be evil."

"They wrote about that too," Sebastian continued. "They do interact with mortals, but not by possessing them. You've heard of mages known as Spirit Healers, right?"

Liam nodded.

"Well, the more powerful of the good spirits, those that embody ideas such as Mercy and Faith, sometimes choose to help mages in our world. They do this, not by possessing the mage, but by establishing a permanent connection to them in the Fade where they reside. This allows the mage to call upon them when they need to and gives them the ability to work miracles in this world such as ressurecting someone recently passed."

"I assume the Templars and the Chantry know about this," Liam said dryly.

"Yes, and they are even more vigilant on those rare occassions a mage shows themself to be such," Sebastian agreed.

"Why is such a thing so rare?"

"Apparently it's because those spirits are reluctant to make the connection," the prince shook his head in bemusement at the idea. "They know, as well as we do, how corrupt mankind has become. The sheer number of demons roaming the Fade is proof of it. They sometimes wait decades before finding a mage of sufficient strength of will and character to be worthy of such an honor."

"I know that Justice helped Anders on many occasions with his healing," Liam told him.

"Spirit Healers are not possessed, they merely act as a channel," Sebastian frowned. "What Anders and Justice did is considered wrong, even by the other spirits. Man's thoughts and emotions are considered too volatile for such a joining to be condoned."

"Anders did tell me that he knew what they did was wrong and that he was horrified by how he had warped his friend with all the hate inside him," Liam said softly.

"Why did he hate Templars so much?" Sebastian demanded. "Just because they dragged him back to the Circle after each time he escaped-"

"No, it was more personal than that," Liam interrupted softly. "He had scars Sebastian, all along his back, buttocks, legs, even his arms. The scars left by the whips they used to beat him the last couple of times they returned him to the circle."

"But he was a healer, surely he could have prevented-"

"Not after he'd been drained and fed magebane," Liam said harshly. He saw the prince's eyes widen. "Yes, that final time he was returned, when he spent a year in solitary, he was kept powerless for extended periods of time. He told me they only allowed him enough power to heal himself enough to keep from dying from his wounds."

"He said he'd been fortunate," Sebastian whispered.

"He lied."

"Was he also raped?" Sebasian stumbled over that word. When he didn't get an answer, he looked up and read the truth in the other man's eyes. "Dear Maker."

"And he wasn't the only one," Liam went on softly. "I met another apostate in his clinic once. She'd been smuggled out after having run afoul of a Templar named Justin, one of Meredith's closest adherents. She spoke of others that had been abused and beaten and the names of those responsible. Ser Alrik wasn't the only one, but he was the most active," he finished sarcastically.

"How many?" Sebastian whispered.

"Not many in the beginning of Meredith's rule," Liam answered, his voice hard. "But as time went on and the guilty continued on without reprisal, more started to think that it was okay."

"I cannot believe that Meredith or Elthina would have condoned such things if they were aware of it," Sebastian shook his head. "And Orsino, surely he would have said something if such things were happening."

"Orsino and Meredith were too busy arguing with each other to pay attention to what was going on right under their noses," Liam suddenly stood up and began to pace. "And those mages who dared to say something against the ones responsible all ended up being made Tranquil. Without witnesses, those Templars who would have stood up for their charges could do nothing. Those who tried were quickly shuffled off to remote outposts and some disappeared entirely."

"Did you learn all this from Anders or those other mages?" Sebastian couldn't help the suspicion in his voice.

"Some, but I had another source as well," Liam smiled sadly. "Do you remember Keren?"

"He's the one you saved from being possessed right?"

"One and the same," Liam nodded. "After that business with Thrask kidnapping my sister, he left Kirkwall. He ended up here in Ferelden and is now stationed at Kinloch Hold. He was in Amaranthine on business for the Order when we landed there. We had a long talk and he told me much of what had been going on and how bad he felt for not doing more."

Sebastian slumped down, overwhelmed by what he was hearing. If it was just Anders he could have dismissed it. But he knew Keren and knew him to be a good man. If he backed the story then it had to be true. "So this is why you've turned against the Chantry."

"I turned against the Chantry's teachings and edicts," Liam shook his head. "At it's heart, I believe the Chantry is good and that Templars are needed, not just to protect us from mages who stray, but to protect mages from those who fear and would harm them. And I don't believe that what happened in Kirkwall is an isolated case, and neither does Keren."

Something in the warrior's tone sparked a thought in Sebastian's head. "You and Anders didn't flee here just because it was once your home," he stated.

"No, we came here because we wanted to see how things could be," Liam nodded. "We heard rumors that the Circle here was more independant than others in Thedas and wanted to see if it was true. We needed some hope that things could change."

"And what did you learn?"

"That the rumors were true. King Alistair placed the Circle and it's mages under his protection as a reward for their help in defeating the Blight. He then proceeded to weed out those templars and clerics who abused their power and authority. Finally, he set up a system of justice that allows any mage, templar, or cleric accused of a crime to plead their case before the Royal Court if they disagree with the lower court's ruling."

"But, the Chantry and the State are supposed to be seperate," Sebastian protested. "The bylaws of the Chantry specifically state so."

"When has that ever stopped the Chantry from doing as they pleased?" Liam retorted. "Meredith seized control of Kirkwall upon the Viscount's death, with the Divine's blessing. When Orlais decided to invade Ferelden, the Grand Cleric here browbeat and shamed the nobles into giving in to what she termed the 'Divine Right' of Orlais. And there are many more examples if you need them. All King Alistair did was distribute the power to judge and prosecute so that no one person could work their will on the innocent or guilty."

"I find it hard to believe," Sebastian whispered.

Liam resumed sitting beside the prince. "Like I said before, both you and Anders were blind to the faults and failings, as well as the good points, of the other side. There was no middle ground between you two. What Anders did, with my help, was wrong. But, he was right in that things had to change. Not to such an extreme that what's happening in Tevinter is allowed to spread, but enough so that the abuse of mages is no longer accepted as the status quo."

They sat in silence for a long while, Liam wondering if he'd said too much, and Sebastian wondering what other things he thought about the Chantry and it's teachings were wrong. Finally, Sebastian broke the silence.

"I understand better now what drove Anders to such extremes," he said softly. "And why you fell in love with him. Even though you helped Anders gather the ingredients to make the bomb and helped him get inside the Chantry to plant it, you didn't set it off. That was all Justice working through Anders. From what you told me about the man, I don't think Anders would have ever gone that far. You have nothing to feel guilty about."

Liam looked up and met the prince's gaze. "You don't know how much hearing you say that means to me. Thank you."

"No, thank you for confiding in me," he smiled and got to his feet. "It's getting late."

"I'm not ready to go in just yet," Liam told him. "Tell the others that I'm okay and I'll be in later."

"Sure Hawke. Goodnight."

Liam watched him walk away. Only a few days ago, if someone had told him that he would be having a civilized conversation with the prince about mages and the Chantry, he would have laughed. Yet, that's exactly what they'd done. He slid down to the ground, back against the tree and legs stretched out, and stared up at the stars just now appearing in the night sky. Ripper settled down next to him and he petted the dog as he thought about Anders and what the mage would think of the prince if he could see him now. He'd be shocked for one thing. "Oh Anders, if only you could be here to see it," he sighed. Tears gathered in his eyes once more and he silently let them fall.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Liam staggered backwards as Fenris' sword smashed into his shield again. They'd been sparring for almost two hours straight and he was beginning to tire. He swung his longsword with a growl, hoping to catch the elf off guard at least once, only to have it hit the massive greatsword and almost drop from his hand. He barely had time to realize his arm was going numb before the elf struck his shield again and again, driving him backwards. A final blow sent him stumbling and he fell to one knee. He tried to get up, but his legs refused to cooperate. Groaning, he flopped onto his back and closed his eyes, panting hard. He felt like he'd just gone ten rounds with an ogre.

A shadow falling over him made his eyes open. He looked up to see Fenris standing over him. Damn elf wasn't even breathing hard. There was a time, not so long ago, when he could have done this for hours. Now, he was lucky to have lasted this long. Still, it wasn't fair that the elf wasn't even sweating. "I hate you," he scowled up at Fenris.

"So you've said," Fenris smirked.

"It's not fair that you look fresh as a daisy while I look like I'm about to die and be buried," Liam groused. "I can't believe I'm this tired. I'm not even wearing armor!"

"You've let yourself go Hawke," Sebastian chuckled as he came over to join them. "You didn't really think that you'd be able to go toe to toe with Fenris yet?"

"I'd settle for not ending up flat on my back each time," he grumbled.

"You're doing better than you were a couple of days ago," Sebastian offered helpfully.

"It's true Hawke," Fenris nodded agreement. "You are making rapid progress in getting back into shape. Keep this up and you'll be back to your old self in a couple of weeks."

"Well, let's just hope that things stay quiet until then," Liam sat up slowly and then groaned. "I'm going to be hurting tonight," he said as he rubbed the small of his back.

Merrill, who had been sitting on the ground next to Ripper at the edge of the sparring area spoke up, "There is a laundry tub in back of the hut. Might be a tight squeeze, but you could fill it with hot water and soak in it. That would help loosen tight muscles."

"Merrill, in case you haven't noticed, Hawke is almost six and half feet tall and weighs over two hundred pounds," Fenris pointed out. "He'd barely fit his legs in that tub, let alone his whole body."

"Well, then, how about a massage?" she said brightly. "I'm pretty good at those."

"How about we just see how I feel in a few hours?" Liam chuckled.

That was Merrill for you. Always trying to help, even when some of her ideas were too far fetched to contemplate. When they'd first met and he'd discovered that she'd dabbled in blood magic, he'd assumed the worst about her and treated her like dirt. Over time, he'd come to realize that it was her foolishness that had led her to seek out a demon. She was so naive and so innocent that she was easy prey for anyone or anything that would seek to use her. He'd taken great pains after that to protect her from herself, as much as protecting everyone else from her.

"Are you done for the day?" Bethany had come out of the hut. "Because, if you are, then you should go get washed up while Merrill and I start supper," she told her brother, holding out the bundle she was carrying.

Liam got to his feet, suppressing another moan as his muscles protested anew. He went and placed his sword and shield against the side of the hut. Then he took the clean clothes, soap, and towel from his sister. "Yeah, I'm done for the day."

"In more ways than one," Fenris snickered, earning a baleful glare from the warrior.

"One day Fenris, I'm going to make you eat those words," Liam scowled.

"I look forward to it," Fenris nodded, his expression serious.

Shaking his head, Liam turned away and headed towards the stream, whistling for Ripper to join him. Even though they seemed to be alone here, he wasn't comfortable being alone while bathing. If someone did come upon him with ill intentions, Ripper would give them reason to think twice.

"So, how is he really doing?" Sebastian turned to the elf once the warrior had left.

"Considering that it's been less than two weeks since he came out of his depression, very well," Fenris replied, a touch of admiration in his voice. "Of course, it helps that he was in such great shape before that, and that he'd had over a decade of fighting experience to fall back on."

"He's still got a long way to go before he'll be like the warrior I remember," Sebastian frowned.

"He's determined to get back in top shape," Fenris shook his head. "I don't think it will take as long as you might imagine." He suddenly paused and went completely still, his gaze shifting to the road leading up from the dell the hut sat in.

"What is it?" Sebastian turned to look in the same direction.

"Horses coming," Fenris answered as his hand reached for his sword.

"It's probably Reginald, I expected him back before now," Sebastian suggested, even as he brought his bow around and nocked an arrow to it.

The two men waited, tense and silent, for the riders to approach. Soon, a rider topped the rise of the road. Sebastian recognized his man and lowered his bow. Then he noticed Reginald was not alone. Two others were with him, and as they moved closer, he saw the newcomers were both elves. Fenris had remained on guard, his weapon held before him ready for use.

Reginald drew his horse to a stop a few feet away and dismounted. He bowed to Sebastian, "I'm sorry for not returning sooner Your Highness, but there is much happening in Denerim right now and I stayed to gather information."

"Who are your companions?" Fenris growled out, his eyes fixed on the two elves. He was always suspicious of surprise visitors, no matter who they were with. Although, the blond-haired elf in dark leathers looked familiar somehow.

"Allow me to introduce you," Reginald nodded and then turned and bowed to the red-haired elf. "This is Drevan Surana, Hero of Ferelden, Commander of the Grey, and Arl of Amaranthine, and his partner Zevran Arainai, lately of Antiva and one of the Blight companions."

Bethany and Merrill had come to join them. When she heard the introduction she stepped forward. "Warden Commander," she nodded her head. "It is an honor to meet you."

Fenris had relaxed somewhat and sheathed his weapon, but he was still watching them suspiciously. "What brings you here?"

Sebastian frowned at him. "Be nice," he whispered.

Drevan stepped forward a little, a slight smile on his face. "I'm not offended by his question, for it's a fair one." He studied the elf, noting the white brands on his skin. "You must be Fenris. When I heard that the Champion of Kirkwall was in Ferelden, I wanted to come and meet him."

"He's taking a bath right now," Merrill piped up. "I can go get him if you'd like?"

"Merrill!" Bethany hissed, mortified at her words.

"What did I say?"

Drevan laughed, "It's so refreshing to meet someone who speaks their mind." He turned to Zevran as the other man said something to him. A frown crossed his face briefly and his eyes flicked around the clearing. "I was given to understand that another Grey Warden, Anders, was with you." He saw them frown and look away. "What?" he asked sharply.

"Anders is dead," Sebastian said gravely.

"Dead?" Drevan exclaimed. "How?"

"It's a rather long story," Bethany spoke up, "and not one that my brother is likely to want to discuss."

"I was the one who conscripted him and I was his Commander," Drevan's voice was hard. "I have the right to know, whether your brother likes it or not."

"Of course, Ser," Bethany nodded.

"Perhaps this is something better discussed after dinner, yes?" Zevran offered lightly. "It's been a long day and we're tired and in need of some good food and drink."

"Of course," Sebastian flushed a little. "Pardon my manners." He was about to say more when excited barking carried to them on the wind. They all turned to look back up the rise as a mabari came running down it.

"About time you decided to join us furface," Drevan pretended to scold the dog. "Was the hunting that poor or were you just too lazy?" The dog whined and then barked a few times. "A little of both, I see." He turned back to the others, "This is one of my most faithful companions, Fenarel."

Fenris paid no attention to the dog, his gaze remained on Drevan. "How did you know who I am?"

"From me of course," Zevran smiled at him. "You and the Champion helped me with some troublesome Crows back in Kirkwall a couple of years ago."

Fenris nodded in comprehension, "That's why you look familiar." He would have said more, but Drevan had chosen to step past him to peer towards the hut Sebastian indicated and he felt his markings flare. "You're a mage!" he gasped. "But, you're wearing armor?" he shook his head in confusion.

Drevan looked sharply at him and then focused on the markings. "So, it's true that those are made of lyrium." He looked up at Fenris and smiled, "I'm guessing they react to anyone with mana."

"They do and it's not pleasant, especially when I'm not warned ahead of time."

"I see," Drevan frowned thoughtfully. "As for me wearing armor, I'm sure you've heard of Arcane Warriors." Seeing the other nod he continued, "At one time, all elvhen had the gift of magic in some degree. Those who were talented became mages and practiced the Arcane Arts. Some of them learned how to not only wield magic but a sword as well. We use the magic in our blood to amplify and enhance our combat prowess. It is a form of fighting thought lost to the world. I happened to find the answer in some ruins located not far from here deep inside the forest."

"Arcane Warriors are reputedly almost impossible to defeat in battle, even against overwhelming odds," Bethany breathed out, her eyes wide with excitement. "I've read about them, but never seen one."

"I wouldn't go that far," Drevan snorted. "However, being able to wear armor and use weapons other than a staff make us more versatile and better able to withstand physical attacks. As for me, I'm even more capable than most because I am also a Spirit Healer and a Grey Warden."

"I've seen him surrounded by dozens of darkspawn and come out unscathed," Zevran said proudly.

"Of course, you're not biased or anything," he looked sideways at him.

"My love, you wound me," Zevran placed a hand to his heart. "I am always sincere with my words."

"Excuse me, but perhaps we could unload the supplies I've brought," Ser Reginald interrupted. "Then I can get the horses settled for the night."

Drevan and Zevran, with help from Bethany and Merrill quickly began removing the supplies and bringing them inside the hut. Fenris looked at Sebastian and jerked his head towards the stream. Sebastian nodded in understanding before turning to lend the others a hand.

Fenris quickly moved towards where Hawke had gone. He thought it best to warn the man ahead of time about their visitors. He reached the stream and followed it up a ways to where it bent around the hill. On the other side there was a shallow pool where they all went to bathe. When he got there, he saw Hawke had alread finished and was in the process of getting dressed.

Liam looked up and smiled at the approaching elf, but the smile soon faded as he read the tension in the other man. "What's wrong?"

"Ser Reginald returned finally, and he brought visitors," Fenris said shortly. Without mincing words, he quickly filled Hawke in on what transpired.

"This Drevan is going to want the whole story I suppose," Liam couldn't hide the tremor in his voice.

"If you don't feel up to it, I can do it," Fenris offered softly. "I've been with you the longest and know most of it."

Liam silently studied his hands for a long while. "Sebastian told me that it would help me if I did speak of my time with Anders. Said that sharing the story with others would give me some closure, which he seems to feel I need if I'm to move on with my life."

"His highness is quite opinionated and is not always right," Fenris snorted.

Liam sighed and then turned and headed back towards the hut. "I'll just have to see how it goes, I guess."

When they arrived back in the clearing, Liam saw an elf with red hair begin to move towards him. They stopped a couple feet apart. "Commander Surana," he nodded politely.

"It is an honor to meet you Messere Hawke," Drevan nodded in return. "I understand that your mother was an Amell? I know a cousin of yours from the Circle here in Ferelden, Lena Amell. She was just recently promoted to First Enchanter."

"What happened to First Enchanter Wynne?" Liam asked and saw the elf's eyebrows go up.

"Wynne passed away a little over a month ago, old age or so I was told," Drevan studied him closely. "How is it you know Wynne?"

"It's a bit of a story," Liam looked down at the ground and swallowed hard. "It's part of the story of how Anders died."

Drevan heard the catch in the warrior's voice and his expression softened. "I knew Anders from the Circle and from his time with me in Amaranthine. Perhaps we can talk privately and share what we know," he suggested quietly.

Liam looked up and met the elf's eyes. Seeing nothing but sympathy, he nodded and motioned him to follow. Turning, he led Drevan over to where Anders was buried. They stood silently for a while before Drevan moved to sit next to the headstone. "He wasn't just your companion, but you're lover."

Liam moved to the other side and sat down, "He was my friend, my confidant, my partner, my lover. He was my reason for living."

"How did he die?" Drevan whispered.

"For you to fully understand him and me, and how it all ended, I'll have to start at the beginning, six years ago," Liam said quietly.

"They've been by the grave for a long time," Merrill looked to where Hawke and Drevan were sitting. The rest of them had decided that it was a good evening to cook out of doors and so they were all sitting near the firepit outside the hut. They had decided to light the fire, but not start preparing supper until the two were finished talking. Ripper and Feneral had taken a liking to each other and were sitting apart from them, nose to nose, growling and barking at each other. She wondered what they were talking about.

Sebastian was well aware of the passing of time. He'd been keeping an eye and ear on the pair since they went over there. "I imagine they have much to discuss."

"I know they do," Zevran nodded. "I knew Anders only briefly from Amarantine, but my Warden has known him for longer than even your Champion."

"He was in the Circle at the same time as Anders then," Bethany mused.

"Yes, though they didn't hang out with each other much," the assassin agreed. "Drevan regaled us with tales of the Anders he knew on our ride here from Denerim."

"Speaking of Denerim, you mentioned you did some information gathering," Sebastian looked over at Reginald.

"There is a lot happening apparently, much of it having to do with-" the knight was interrupted.

"I think that is something best left for tomorrow when all might share in it, no?" Zevran said sharply.

"Or later tonight, after supper," Merrill chimed in.

"I do not think that either of them will be up for any lengthy conversation," Zevran sighed.

"I believe you are correct," Fenris nodded. "Much of what happened with Anders is painful for Hawke to talk about. He most likely will be too emotionally drained."

"You seem to know a great deal about my brother and his friends," Bethany peered over at Zevran.

"Stories of the events in Kirkwall have reached far and wide," the elf looked around at each of them. "Most of the stories are probably exaggerated, but they all seem to center around the Champion of Kirkwall and his companions. Those who believe in mage's rights hail him as a hero and those who believe in Chantry rule revile him as a terrorist. I imagine the truth is somewhere in between."

"Fenris and I were with Hawke to the end," Merrill scooted forward a little. "We can tell you what really happened."

"Hawke was many things, but he was not a terrorist," Sebastian shook his head. "He was just caught in the middle, like the rest of us."

"You've made your opinion on that subject very clear, your highness," Bethany suddenly snapped. "We don't need to hear your version."

"I've already apologized to Hawke for my words and actions," Sebastian's voice was soft but firm. "I've also acknowledged that I was wrong about many things."

"Hmm, seems like there's even more to the stories than most have been led to believe," Zevran looked speculatively between the prince and the girl. He was very adept at politics and reading between the lines and could see that whatever it was, it was a subject of contention between them.

"I think that we are past the point of recriminations Bethany," Fenris said firmly.

"Sorry," the girl looked down at her hands.

"You are only trying to protect your brother from further pain," Sebastian reached out and touched her arm to bring her eyes up to his. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"Well, is someone going to tell the truth of what happened or not?" Zevran urged.

"Since Hawke most likely is telling the whole story to the Commander, then you should be brought up to speed," Fenris settled himself more comfortably next to the pit. "I will begin."

Zevran listened in fascination as the elf told of the argument between Meredith and Orsino, the actions of Anders, and the efforts of Hawke and company to thwart the plans of the Knight-Commander. All through the story, he kept glancing at the prince, wondering what part he had played in it all. From what he could read of the man's expression, it seemed that much of what he was hearing was a revelation.

Then Fenris went on to describe their flight from Kirkwall to Amaranthine. From their landing in the city, to the time in Vigil's Keep, and finally to the last desperate action of a desperate man. Zevran felt his heart fill with sorrow and pity, not only for Hawke, but for Drevan as well. When the story ended, they all sat silently for a while.

"So, apart from being the driving force behind Anders desperate plan, how do you fit into the story your highness?" he asked.

"It is not nearly so long a tale, but it lies at the heart of the events that took place here in Ferelden," Sebastian told him and then proceeded to talk about Starkhaven and his failed plans for revenge. He didn't go into any of the personal feelings he had for Hawke, as it was nobody else's business, but he did talk about how he felt after seeing what his actions had done to a man he once called friend.

"A sad tale all around," Zevran sighed once it was finished. "But perhaps it was fate that things turned out the way they did and you all ended up here together."

"I assume you are referring to what's happening in the Capitol," Fenris looked at him.

"Yes, and there will be much to discuss come the morning," Zevran stood up and stretched. "Now I think we should see about roasting some of that venison I saw hanging inside near the fireplace. My stomach tells me it is well past time for dinner."

"I will go let them know we're starting supper," Sebastian stood as well and headed towards the grave.

"I'm a fair hand at roasting meat," Reginald spoke up. He had sat quietly while the others talked, feeling out of place. He was a knight, but he was not of a rank with the others and was not often privy to such conversations.

Bethany smiled at him, "If you don't mind doing that, then Merrill and I can see to the other things."

"I saw some flour and fruit amongst your supplies," Zevran pointed out. "I know a great recipe for fruit tarts that is quick and easy to make. Would you like me to make some?" Seeing the big smile on Bethany's face he laughed, "I'll take that as a yes."

"If you show me where you'd like your tents set up, I will do that while the rest of you cook," Fenris offered.

"Feel free to set ours up wherever you feel is best," Zevran shrugged.

"Set mine up next to the prince's if you don't mind, ser," Reginald nodded at him and then followed the girls and Zevran into the hut. Fenris studied the clearing briefly before setting to work.

Sebastian quietly approached Hawke and then cleared his throat, "The others have gotten started on supper."

Drevan nodded and stood up. He laid a hand on Hawke's shoulder, "If you wish to talk some more after supper, just let me know." Nodding to Sebastian, he headed back to the firepit.

"How are you holding up Hawke?" Sebastian asked softly.

Liam got to his feet and turned to face him. "I think it was as hard for Drevan to hear what I had to say as it was for me to tell it. But, I'm okay for now. He told me some things about Anders that made me laugh and made me wish I knew him before he joined with Justice."

"Did Anders ever tell you how it happened?"

"No, but Drevan knew and told me," Liam sighed. "Neither Justice nor Anders were the type to condone something as violent as blowing up the Chantry. They had the best intentions, but neither really understood what they were getting themselves into."

"Drevan said he was a Spirit Healer," Sebastian mused. "I imagine he knows more about spirits and spirit possession than most mages."

"He does," Liam nodded. "When he told us Wynne died, you know what my first thought was?"

"That somehow you and Anders were responsible for it," Sebastian smiled slightly.

"Yes, but we weren't," Liam shook his head. "See, she should have died during Uldred's rebellion, but a spirit from the Fade saved her. Somehow, the spirit got attached to her and was unable to ever return fully to the Fade. Over time, the spirit began to falter and eventually would have faded away to nothing and Wynne would have died. All we did was bring that about sooner rather than later. Wynne had no regrets trying to help us and said so in a letter she wrote to him."

"She sounds an awful lot like Elthina," Sebastian said sadly.

"Someday, we should sit and talk about Elthina," Liam suggested. "I think it might do you some good."

"I'd like that Hawke," Sebastian said sincerely. "Now, let's go see about supper."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Now that we are done with breakfast, I think it's time we talked about what is going on in Denerim," Sebastian said as he removed the last of the plates from the table.

"I think we'd be more comfortable outside," Fenris glanced around the small hut. They had managed to fit around the table, but barely.

The others nodded and headed outside. They dragged the chairs from inside the hut to the edge of the sparring ring. Reginald and Fenris found a partial tree trunk and dragged it over to provide additional seating. Liam chose to sit on it and was joined by Sebastian and Fenris, each choosing to sit either side of him. Merrill flopped on the ground beside the two dogs, leaving the four chairs for the rest of the party.

"I would like to hear what Ser Reginald has to say first," Drevan said as he took his seat, Zevran settling into the chair next to him.

"Most of my information is second hand, possibly little better than idle gossip," Reginal frowned.

"But there is always some truth to be found in such gossip," Zevran smiled slyly. "And you can often discover things that those higher up don't feel is useful, such as how servants feel about their masters."

"Which no doubt is useful to an assassin," Reginald nodded.

"Please Zev, don't sidetrack us," Drevan held up his hand. He nodded at Reginal, "Let's hear it."

"When I first arrived in Denerim, I heard many people talking about a war with Orlais," the knight began. "I was surprised at such talk, for I figured that with the events in Kirkwall that their attention would be focused on the Free Marches. So I asked around, figuring that perhaps it was Ferelden who was seeking to go to war instead of Orlais. But, it turns out that war is the last thing that Ferelden wants."

"Even though it's been ten years, the effects of the Blight have still to be fully healed," Drevan sighed. "We can't afford to war with anyone. And even if we could, we wouldn't because it's not in our nature. All we ever wanted was to be left alone to do things our way."

"The famous Ferelden stubborness and independance," Sebastian chuckled and looked at Hawke. Seeing a dark look on the warrior's face he frowned, "Something wrong Hawke?"

"If Orlais wants a war, then let them come," Liam snarled. "I'll be more than happy to shove their chevalier lances up their fancy assess and toss them back into the sea."

"Damn right brother," Bethany nodded fiercely. "Stuck up, snotty bunch of fops can all drown in the Waking Sea."

Everyone but Drevan was staring at them in surprise. "I didn't realize you felt so strongly about them Hawke," Sebastian said.

Drevan busted out laughing, "Even though it's been over eighty years since we threw Orlais out, the bad feelings still exist amongst Fereldens as a whole."

"But why is Orlais seeking war with Ferelden, especially now with so much else going on?" Fenris asked.

"That is a rather long story that starts with the fall of the Archdemon and ends with your friend here," Drevan answered, nodding at Hawke. "My coming here was not just a social call."

"What do you mean?" Liam looked at the mage with suspicion.

"After we killed the Archdemon and crowned Alistair as king, he declared by royal edict that the mages were to be the ones in charge at the Circle," Drevan began, ignoring the other man's question for now. "He removed the power of discipline and punishment of mages from the hands of the templars and reduced the Chantry's control to the spiritual aspects of daily life there."

"I bet that didn't sit well with Orlais," Sebastian shook his head.

"Not just with Orlais, but with many of the templars and priests here in Ferelden," Drevan nodded. "He did it because of me, as a way to repay me and as a way to honor those mages who died battling the Archdemon and the Horde. As much as the idea of having that much freedom appealed to me, I also knew that the country could not afford any kind of dissent."

"He came to me and told me all about it," Zevran broke. "It upset me to see him so torn up about it. So I suggested that they set up a tribunal in front of which disputes could be argued publicly. The three main arbiters were to be the First Enchanter, the Knight Commander, and a representative of the King."

"The most important aspect was that it would be done openly," Drevan continued. "No more would the fate of a mage, templar, novitiate or priest be something decided behind closed doors. The case would be argued in front of witnesses and with strict adherence to not only Chantry law but Secular rule as well."

Sebastian frowned, "The Divine would still have taken exception to that. Being very close to the Empress, she would have no problem convincing her to go to war."

"Maybe, but at the time Orlais had too much on their plate and so they chose to overlook it," Drevan shrugged. "The local Chantry leaders were satisfied. I think that many knew, deep down, that change was needed. The rebellion with Uldred made that painfully clear. Mages so desperate for fair treatment that they resort to violence to get it."

"A cornered dog will fight to the death if it's life is threatened," Liam nodded.

"Anders and I discussed the problem at length," Bethany spoke up. "The templars having the authority to use the Rite of Tranquility whenever and on whomever they pleased scared both of us. Those in Kirkwall used it to silence those mages who stood in opposition to them. He said if the choice was death or tranquility then the mages had no choice but to make every confrontation a life or death struggle."

"Which makes peaceful negotion impossible, yes," Drevan nodded. "No mage can be put through the Rite of Tranquility unless they ask to be. Believe it or not, some mages are so fearful of having magic that they'd rather be Tranquil. As for using it against those believed to be too dangerous, that has been changed. There needs to be irrefutable proof and eyewitness testimony given before the Tribunal and the assembled people before it can be invoked. And even then, the case can be appealed and brought before Alistair and his advisors. As a result, there has only been two cases of the Rite being performed at the Circle in the past ten years. In both cases, it was at the request of the mages themselves."

"And this has worked for you?" Sebastian couldn't hide his suprise. "I mean, just look at Tevinter and what's happened there. Mages watch and govern themselves and-"

"The mages don't govern themselves," Drevan interrupted forcefully. "But, the Chantry no longer has absolute authority over what happens within the Circle. The laws are enforced, but in full view of the people and under the eye of the three representatives. Alistair used to be a templar before Duncan recruited him. He saw first hand how some abused the mages in their charge. We also saw first hand what can happen when mages aren't watched. He knows better than anyone, including the Divine, what can happen. Power corrupts, but it's not just mages who abuse their power. The system we have set up addresses those issues, and it WORKS!"

There was a heavy silence for a while after that. Fenris felt his markings tingling and realized that mana was bleeding from Drevan, so upset was the mage. He felt it was time to turn the conversation back to the subject of war with Orlais. "So, if this isn't the cause for Orlais going to war with Ferelden, what is?"

"It was only a small piece of the puzzle," Zevran answered him. "Mi amore is himself a thorn in the Divine's side so to speak."

"You are putting the cart before the horse dear," Drevan admonished him.

"So sorry," the assassin grinned. "About four years ago, Ferelden's Grand Cleric's health began to fail. She appointed the Revered Mother of Denerim as her successor and wrote to the Divine as to her intention. A few days after sending the letter, she passed away and Mother Justinia became Grand Cleric with much pomp and ceremony."

"Everyone in the Chantry as well as the country was happy with the appointment," Drevan picked up the story. "I'd met Justinia a few times while helping to rebuild Denerim. She was quite open minded and not unaware of the problems within the Circle and amongst chantry personnel. She had been most supportive of the changes Alistair made. However, she was of the firm belief that mages could and should do more for the people. She herself was not afraid to go out and get her hands dirty while helping others. She felt that keeping mages secluded from the rest of society dulled their ability to sympathize with the troubles of the common man."

"She told Wynne, who'd become First Enchanter earlier in the year upon Irving's death, that Harrowed Mages were to be sent out with Templar escort to surrounding villages and settlements to assisst the common people in any way they could," Zevran continued. "She also wanted the best minds in the Circle put to the task of finding ways to cure those areas of Ferelden that were still poisoned from the blight. Wynne was shocked at first by what she perceived as the Grand Cleric's high handedness. Ah, to witness two such strong women lock horns," he finished with a grin.

"Zevran has always had a soft spot for Wynne," Drevan smiled ruefully.

"She was like a mother to me," Zevran tried for a wounded tone.

"Yes, I'm sure that's why you were always so interested in her bosom Zev," the mage snickered. "Anyway, after the initial shock wore off, Wynne and Justinia managed to work successfully together to make the much needed changes. This of course did not go unchallenged by the Divine."

"So, did she send a letter denouncing things or what?" Reginald asked, impatient to hear the rest of the fascinating story.

"Oh she did more than that," Zevran shook his head. "Imagine the surprise on our faces when an Orlesian war galley put into Denerim carrying Ferelden's newly 'appointed' Grand Cleric. The 'Grand Cleric' was accompanied by a battalion of chevaliers, a dozen Templars, and a Seeker. She sent word to the palace of her intentions to disembark with her men and head straight for the Denerim Chantry. She then proceeded to attempt it, only to have the guards at the docks block her. She was furious but had no choice but to wait for word from the palace."

"Andraste's tits, what audacity!" Liam shouted. "How could the Divine imagine that she would get away with such a stunt?"

"Because she is an arrogant, grasping, self-serving, bitch of a woman who thinks she owns the whole of Thedas," Zevran spat out.

"This is the Divine you're talking about Zevran, not some strumpet in the street," Sebastian protested, offended by the remarks.

"Have you ever met her your highness?" the elf scowled and saw him shake his head. "Well I have, so I know what I am talking about."

"How did you meet her?" Liam asked in fascination.

"It has to do with the reason I left Amaranthine a couple of years ago and is a private matter that is best left alone," Drevan said firmly, glaring at Zevran. "As for the woman sent to be our new Grand Cleric, Alistair had gone to meet her and had brought a full complement of Royal Guard. He told her outright that he'd be damned if he let a chevalier set foot on Ferelden soil. He told her that if she wished to talk, they could do it in his throne room and she could bring only a handful of Templars."

"Drevan and I were waiting in the throne room along with Wynne, Justinia, Banns Teagan, Alfstanna, and Sighard and of course their personal guard," Zevran smiled wickedly. "Alistair wanted to make sure this woman understood that he had the full support of the nobles and Chantry."

"The woman, one Drusila by name, took one look at Justinia in her Grand Cleric robes and immediately demanded that she step down and turn herself over for discipline," Drevan shook his head at the memory of the woman's gall. "She stated that since the Divine had not sanctioned her appointment that it was invalid and thus she was guilty of impersonating a person of authority."

"Now of course Alistair knew that what this Orlesian said was true, having been raised in the Chantry," Zevran sighed. "Not only that, Justinia knew it as well, and while she was disappointed the Divine was going to ignore the wishes of the people of Ferelden, she didn't feel it was worth starting a war over."

"So she stepped down," Sebastian nodded his approval.

Zevran smirked at him, "Only for a brief time."

"You see, Alistair wanted to know what kind of woman this Orlesian was and also wanted to ease suspicions voiced by the nobles," Drevan continued the tale. "He told her that her presence was acceptable to his nobles, but that they refused to accept anyone else, especially chevaliers."

"She agreed with that and stated that they were there mostly as a precaution against pirates," Zevran told them with a roll of his eyes. "Then she went on to say that Alistair himself had to change a few things as well. The first thing she demanded was that Drevan here be returned to his proper place in the Circle. She said and I quote, 'He is a mage and mages are forbidden by Chantry Law to hold a title, and he is also an elf and they can't be trusted to do what's best for the humans in their lands.' Needless to say, her words caused quite the commotion."

"You see, I wasn't just a mage," Drevan smiled. "Alistair pointed out that I was first and foremost a Grey Warden and as such not subject to the rules and laws of men or the Chantry. Then Teagan stepped forward and told the woman that I was also the Hero of Ferelden and that slandering my name was tantamount to a decalaration of war. She wasn't stupid and she could see that her words had ruffled everyone's feathers, and so didn't push the matter. I wisely stayed silent and let others make their points."

"She then told Alistair that the Divine demanded that he take his spiritual responsibilities more seriously and stop pandering to the mages misguided notion of persecution," Zevran told them. "Needless to say this time she really stuck her foot in her mouth. Alistair was not only a hero, but the King, and a very popular one at that. Her words rubbed all the banns the wrong way, but it was Sighard that settled things once and for all. He stepped forward, looked Drusila in the eye and told her to get her fat ass out of Ferelden before he put his boot up it. 'Ferelden will not tolerate such high handed, pompous tactics as what is displayed here today. If the Divine and her Empress puppet think they can cow Ferelden in this manner then they are mistaken.'"

Drevan busted out laughing at the memory, "Poor woman didn't know what hit her. If she had done her homework before coming here, then she would have known to be more circumspect in her speech. Bann Sighard owed Alistair and myself a debt that he feels he can never repay. We saved his son from torture and death at the hands of Rendon Howe."

"Orlesians never cared a rats ass about anyone but themselves and so wouldn't give a thought to such things in the first place," Liam snorted.

"Alistair barely kept hold of his temper with the woman," Drevan continued. "He told her that unfortunately her presence here would be detrimental to his people and he ordered her to return to Orlais and never come back."

"She in turn stated that by taking this stance he was denouncing the authority of the Divine and risking the division of the Chantry within his lands," Zevran shook his head as he remembered her words. "She actually believed that this was something she could threaten Alistair with. He merely shrugged and said that he didn't care. He also stated that if any member of the Chantry or Templars located within Ferelden disagreed with his choices, they were free to leave and go to Orlais or wherever else they chose."

"So, did she leave then, and did others go with her?" Liam asked.

"She did and yes there were some who were unhappy with the changes made in recent years who also took the opportunity to leave with her," Drevan nodded. "So in essence, the Chanrty in Ferelden is no longer a part of the Divine's domain, and by her own doing."

"I still fail to see how any of this has to do with Hawke or your coming here," Fenris had been silently listening until now.

"Like I said, this was just the ground work for what happened later," Drevan told him. "We half expected the Divine to do something then but she didn't. That was when we started hearing rumors about unrest in the Free Marches and problems with Tevinter and Antiva. Apparently the Divine's attention was focused on the problems there and specifically on the unrest amongst the mages and templars in Kirkwall."

"Yes, that was about the time that the Qunari decided to attempt an armed takeover of Kirkwall," Liam nodded. "It was my defeating the Arishok that led to my appointment as Champion and my becoming more involved in the problems between Meredith and her supporters, and Orsino and his."

"Quite so, and thus attention was diverted somewhat from Ferelden for a time," Drevan nodded.

"But even then the Divine and the Empress had not totally forgotten Drevan's part in things," Zevran spoke up again. "A representative of theirs approached Nathaniel Howe with the possibility of restoring him to his father's Arldom."

"You mean Warden Commander Howe?" Bethany asked.

"The same," Drevan smiled at her. "After the battles with the Architect in Amaranthine, the First Warden in Weisshaupt decided that my talents were being wasted in commanding Vigil's Keep. So, they promoted Nate to the rank of Commander and gave him control of the Keep. I offered to let him have the Arling as well, seeing as how it did once belong to his family, but he didn't want it or the added responsibility."

"But the Orlesian that approached Nate couldn't understand how a noble like him could turn down the title, wealth, and prestige that being an Arl gave him," Zevran continued. "Nate heard the man out, told him he would think on it overnight, and then promptly informed Drevan of the situation."

"He of course refused the offer and sent the man packing and gave no more thought to it," Drevan told them. "In the meantime, I was called upon to lend mine and Zevran's talents to a rather sticky situation in the Anderfels involving the Wardens there. It took several months but we finally uncovered a plot to undermine the First Warden. The plot was carried out by Anderfel nobles, but it was masterminded by someone in Orlais."

"It was at this time that a message arrived from Nate stating that he had again been approached by someone from Orlais," Zevran scowled in memory. "This time they offered to not only help him reclaim Amaranthine, but also promised to see that he was made a Teryn, a position second only to that of the King of Ferelden."

"It was then that Zevran and I realised that we had to find out who in Orlais was behind all this," Drevan told them. "And so we headed off to Orlais to do just that, with the blessing of not only King Alistair but the First Warden as well. That is where we've been the past couple of years and from where we'd only recently returned to Denerim."

"It was we who sent word of the Divine's plans for a war against Ferelden," Zevran told them. "She managed to convince the Empress that the problems in the Free Marches and Kirkwall in particular were a direct result of the actions taken by Alistair here in Ferelden."

"That's insane!" Liam jumped to his feet. "Kirkwall's problems were caused by internal political struggles."

"Ah, but the Champion is from Ferelden no?" Zevran said slyly. "And Alistair has been granting asylum to mages who have escaped the Kirkwall Circle, yes? You see where this is going don't you?"

"You mean the Divine thinks it was all a conspiracy?" Liam goggled at him.

"Apparently she does and she means to put an end to your seditious influence once and for all," Drevan snorted. "The Divine feels that bringing Ferelden to heel will result in the rest of Thedas bowing down once more to Chantry rule. And of course, the Empress has never forgotten that Orlais once ruled Ferelden and wants it back in any way she can get it."

"Already there has been death on both sides as the mages and templars battle each other," Zevran told them. "Starkhaven's Circle had burned down long before, but it is rumored that any mage caught within her borders is executed immediately. The Circle in Orlais has been locked down tighter than a virgin's chastity belt and neither templar nor mage is allowed outside its walls. Hundreds of chevaliers are stationed around it around the clock. And Tantervale has taken similar steps in order to stem the tide of violence that has begun to spread through most of Thedas."

"Several cities and towns have been ruined already by battles between rogue mages and templars," Drevan said soberly. "Hundreds, perhaps thousands, of innocent men, women, and children have already lost their lives to this conflict. And it will get worse before it gets better. The Divine sees war as a way to bring the situation under control."

"Grand Cleric Elthina would be horrified to hear this," Sebastian whispered. "She always said war was not the answer to the problem. She told me over and over again that violence only led to more violence. That it was compassion, mercy and understanding that would bring about true peace. It was something she prayed for every day."

"Unfortunately, even if she was still alive, I doubt she'd be able to do anything," Liam shook his head. "She couldn't even get Orsino and Meredith to agree." He looked over at Zevran, "I even contemplated contacting you a couple of times, to hire you to kill the two of them. I figured with them gone perhaps matters could be resolved."

"Not necessarily my friend," Zevran pursed his lips. "You could have very well found yourself with someone even worse than Meredith. After all, the Divine highly approved of Meredith's actions in Kirkwall. She even approved of the Knight-Commander retaining the rulership of Kirkwall."

"That's why she never held an election for a new viscount!" Sebastian exclaimed.

"Anders and I suspected such was the case," Liam nodded.

"At any rate, the events in Kirkwall merely hastened the Divine's actions," Drevan interrupted to get them back on track. "Orlais would have declared war on Ferelden at some point anyway. What is of importance is your presence here in Ferelden," he said firmly, meeting Hawke's gaze. "Alistair has a ready army at his disposal, but he lacks people capable of commanding and leading them. You have extensive experience and training in matters of war. You are also as much a symbol of freedom and hope to the people of Ferelden as I am. He has tasked me with preparing Amaranthine for possible assault by Orlais. You would be the ideal candidate to take charge in Denerim. King Alistair would be very grateful for your assistance in the coming war."

"What?" Liam once again jumped to his feet in shock. "How could you possibly think I'm the right one?"

"You are Ferelden born, this is your home and it is in danger," Drevan stood toe to toe with him. "If Orlais wins, they will execute every mage and templar who goes against them. They will use the defeat of Ferelden to show that we are all heathens in the eyes of the Maker and deserve death. They will then use it to show that what you and Anders did in Kirkwall was against the Maker's will and his laws. Even though it will all be lies, the world will believe it. All the changes we've struggled over the years to make will be undone. Is that what you want?"

Liam turned away, his thoughts in turmoil. To have this suddenly thrust upon him was shocking. He was in no condition to be leading anybody, let alone an army. "I need to think on it," he hedged.

"I will give you until tomorrow to decide what to do for I must leave in the morning," Drevan agreed and then turned to Bethany. "I know that Nate gave you permission to be here, but in reality your direct superior is Stroud. He has ordered that you return to the Free Marches and the base camp there. There is a project for the First Warden he is working on that requires your help. Neither Nate nor I can countermand his order."

"I understand," Bethany nodded. "I think that my brother will be alright now, so I'm not really needed here anymore. But, if war is brewing with Orlais, is it safe to travel across the sea?"

"We have a couple of months yet," Drevan assured her. "You will travel with me to Amaranthine and you can take ship from there. I myself must see to securing the Arling from the threat Orlais poses."

Bethany looked around and saw her brother heading off to the woods. "I guess I better go and tell him. I hope he takes it well."

Drevan watched her go and then turned back to the others. He saw them watching him intently. "What?"

"You certainly have a way of shaking up the status quo," Fenris shook his head. "At least it seems to have shocked Hawke into something resembling his former self."

"After what he's been through, it sometimes helps to have something else to focus on other than yourself," Drevan replied. "I was not exaggerating when I said that Alistair could use his help. From what Zevran has told me of the man, and from what I've learned about him already, no one is better suited."

"So, war has come to Thedas," Sebastian said with a sigh. "After what you said about Starkhaven, I regret leaving her the way I did. But, I wasn't willing to go to war over something as mundane as a throne."

"Hindsight is always perfect," Drevan shook his head. "All one can do is keep moving forward and hope for the best."

"May the Maker watch over us all," Reginald said soberly.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Drevan finished tying off his pack to his horse and then turned and walked back to the small group standing outside the hut. "I'm glad you've agreed to help with Denerim's defense," he told Hawke.

"I just hope that I live up to your expectations," Liam replied.

"I have a question," Sebastian broke in, staring intently at Drevan. "From everything I've heard, the Wardens refuse to get involved in political struggles. Yet you made it sound like if Hawke refused to go to Denerim, that you yourself would have to. Isn't that against Grey Warden policy?"

"When he learned that Orlais was behind the plot to undermine him, the First Warden reexamined that policy," Drevan smiled tightly. "It was not so long ago that Grey Wardens held noble titles and lands. After trouble broke out between Commander Sophia Dryden and King Arlen here in Ferelden, the Wardens agreed to stay out of politics if the world agreed to let the Wardens have autonomy. Now that agreement has been broken and freed us to respond in any way we deem fit. I choose to fight for my homeland and my friends."

"And what about afterwards?" Liam asked. "Anders always said he suspected that it was his status as a Grey Warden that kept the Knight-Commander and Grand Cleric from coming after him. If you decide to stay involved, what does it mean for those who have been conscripted?"

"The Wardens look after their own," Drevan answered coolly. "It would take more resources than most leaders have to wage war with us over one or two members."

"It is said in Tevinter that one needs ten men for each Warden one decides to fight," Fenris put forth. "And to expect to lose most of them," he finished with a wry smile.

"I have seen mi amore here take on a dozen darkspawn single handed and not even break a sweat," Zevran looked at his love with admiring eyes. "It is far more likely for a Warden to die fighting in the Deep Roads than in battle against mere humans."

"Choir Boy, I thought you'd learned to loosen up by now, not be so obsessed with rules," Bethany taunted as she saw Sebastian about to continue to protest.

"None of this is important at this time," Drevan held up a hand to forestall any further argument. He turned to Hawke, "I know you won't disappoint me. Anders was not a fool and he wouldn't have let someone he didn't trust and believe in close to him."

Hawke nodded and shook the elf's hand, "I'm glad you stopped by."

"I have one more suggestion," Drevan eyed him closely. "More than a decade has passed since you fled Ferelden, and there is some time before the Orlesians arrive. I think that visiting the places you knew before will be helpful. They started rebuilding Lothering a couple of years ago. And the Circle Tower was once Anders home."

"I'll think about it," Liam nodded. The elf turned away and his sister stepped in front of him. "I wish you could stay with me longer," he whispered.

Bethany held her brother's gaze as she took both his hands in hers, "My first obligation is to the Wardens brother dear, you know that. I would stay longer if I could."

"I know," Liam swallowed hard, fighting back tears. "It's just, you're all the family I have left now."

"No, I'm not Liam," she said gently. "Sebastian is here," she gave him a knowing look and saw him suck in a breath. "Yes, I know you had feelings for him once, before Anders came into the picture. I believe that he returns those feelings. I do know that he intends to stay by your side through all of this."

"Everyone is still looking to me to lead them, to show them what to do," Liam shook his head. "I'm not that man anymore. I'm afraid I'm going to let you all down."

"No, you're not the brother I used to know," Bethany agreed. "You've grown up and are no longer brash or impulsive. You've learned to be cautious, to think about the consequences of your actions. You're older and wiser, and that makes you a better man, a better leader." She saw his eyes brighten and he seemed to straighten slightly. She kissed him on the cheek and whispered, "You'll always be my hero," and then turned and walked to the horse Reginald had given her.

Liam watched silently as Drevan, Bethany and Zevran mounted up, ready to ride away. Hearing a bark and a whine, he turned his head to see Ripper and Feneral saying their farewells. A sharp whistle accompanied the sound of hooves clopping as the riders began to move. With a final bark, Feneral turned and ran after the riders. Ripper walked over to Liam and sat next to him, a whine issuing from his throat as he looked up at his master. "I'm going to miss them too, boy," Liam told him.

When the riders had disappeared over the hill, Merrill sighed loudly. "It was fun having another woman around. I'm going to miss Bethany." She looked at Liam and said softly, "You'll see her again. The Wardens can't be fighting darkspawn all the time."

"Perhaps, but it's the not knowing when that's so hard," Liam agreed. "I worry that one day I'll get a letter saying that she died in some dark tunnel in the Deep Roads."

"We talked about her life with the wardens," Merrill told him. "During that time when you simply sat around staring out the window. Fenris was keeping busy with hunting and sword practice. Bethany and I had little to do, so we talked. She said that all wardens eventually end up in the Deep Roads. That eventually she would get her calling and would go there to die."

"I know, she told me about it that time we went to that prison place in the Vinmark Mountains," Liam nodded. "But that won't happen for another couple of decades. I worry about something happening sooner. We had to leave Carver's body behind. I have no grave to visit. Mother's grave is in Kirkwall and there's no way I can go back there. At least not for a really long time. The thought that Bethany might die and I would never have the chance to say my farewells or bury her-"

As he broke off, Sebastian stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't borrow trouble Hawke, nothing good comes of it. Try to focus instead on the good things, like how happy Bethany is now to have a life with purpose."

"You're right," Liam nodded and then took a deep breath. "Well, we have the whole day ahead of us. Any suggestions on what to do with it?" He looked around at them.

"I don't know about anyone else, but I've gotten kinda bored with this little place," Merrill spoke up. "Also, if we stay much longer, we run the risk of depleting the food supply."

"Perhaps we should do as Drevan suggested then," Fenris mused. He looked up at Liam, "One of our earliest converstations in Kirkwall was about how we had to leave our homes and if we would return someday. For me, that was never an option, as Tevinter wasn't a place I would ever want to return to. You told me that going home someday was appealing."

"I don't know," Liam said doubtfully.

"I've heard a great deal about Ferelden, from you and others," Sebastian told him. "I think I'd like to see Lothering, and perhaps even go as far as Ostagar. That's where it all started really. I also would like to see the Circle Tower. The only things I know about the Circles I learned from observing the one in Kirkwall and the stories Anders used to tell."

Liam looked around at the quiet clearing. His eyes fell on Anders grave and a feeling of disquiet filled him. Yes, this place was unknown to all but the Dalish, and yes, they appeared to have decided to not return to this area of the Brecillian Forest. But, it could still be found by them, or by bandits or other unsavory characters. Would it be safe from harm?

Sebastian followed his gaze and guessed what he was thinking. "This clearing is pretty secluded. I don't think he'd want you to isolate yourself this way Hawke."

"Don't worry about anyone coming here," Merrill piped up. "Bandits and others fear this place too much to come here, and the Dalish won't bother it. Whether it is theirs or not, the Dalish respect all burial grounds."

"It will be good to be on the move again," Fenris said. "I've missed travelling around and seeing new places."

Liam looked at them each in turn. They were all so eager to leave that he felt bad about holding them back. But, leaving the safety and seclusion of this place filled him with dread. Was it fair to hold them back? A shiver ran through him as a thought occurred to him. What if they got tired of waiting around and left him? He'd be alone. "Excuse me," he told them and hurried off.

"He seemed uspet," Merrill puzzled, staring after him. "Did we say something wrong?"

Sebastian frowned thoughtfully. Looking over at Fenris he saw that the elf appeared to be thinking the same thing, "He's afraid to leave here."

"That would seem to be likely," the elf nodded agreement.

"Why would he be afraid to leave?" Merrill looked at them.

"It'd take too long to explain that Merrill," Sebastian sighed. "I'll go talk to him."

Fenris turned to the Dalish, "Why don't you go see about taking stock of our supplies. See what we have that we can take with us and what we don't need that can be left behind. And make up a list of things we should see about purchasing once we're on the road."

"So, we're leaving then," Merrill nodded. "You sure Hawke will agree to it?"

"I think his highness stands a good chance of convincing him," he replied. Turning to Reginald he said, "You and I should see to that old pony and his tack."

"The wagon as well, ser," Reginald nodded. "It's been over a month since you've used it."

"True," Fenris agreed. "I'm a fair hand at leather working, but know nothing about wood."

"Well, I grew up on a farm," Reginald pursed his lips. "On a farm, you pretty much have to fix things yourself when they break. I remember a little bit about repairing wagons and wheelbarrows and such. If there is any damage, as long as it's minor, I think I can fix it."

"How did you become Sebastian's First Knight?" Fenris stared at him.

"When I was fourteen, my father allowed me to go try out for the guard," he answered. "They don't even consider anyone younger. Also, you have to have some skill with a weapon such as a sword or a mace. From the time I was old enough to talk, I made it known to my family that I wanted to be a member of the Royal Guard someday. Being the youngest of six children, my parents had no problem with it."

"A worthy goal," Fenris nodded.

"I succeeded in proving myself worthy of training and was hired on as an apprentice," Reginald smiled slightly in memory. "I worked hard and trained harder and so earned a position in the castle guard in only two years. After a year there, the king came looking for a retinue of younger soldiers to become the personal guard of his youngest son. Sebastian had just turned six and it had been decided he was old enough to have his own place and guard. He and I hit it off right from the start and became as much friends as bodyguard and master. When his current captain decided to retire, he promoted me."

At a door slamming shut, Fenris looked over to see Merrill had come out carrying a heavy looking box. It reminded him that there was work to be done and so he motioned for Reginald to follow him as he headed for the lean to where the pony was stabled. "Sebastian said he'd been given to the Chantry as a young boy," he said, encouraging the knight to continue his story.

"That didn't happen until he was fourteen," Reginald replied. "Before that, he had his own little estate a few miles from the city. After he was sent to become a brother, I remained at the estate along with the rest of his guard and servants. He did come home to visit occasionally until about ten years ago."

"That was when his family was murdered correct?"

"Yes, and it was a bad time for everyone," Reginald sighed. "It was I who encouraged Sebastian to stay away. I knew that it would be nearly impossible for those responsible to get at him inside the church. Also, his being a brother, I hoped they would not even consider him a threat. In the years since, I remained, as did the rest, guarding the estate and keeping in contact with the prince in his exile. When he finally returned, we stood ready to do whatever he needed. But, too much time had gone by and a good portion of the nobles had come to like Goren's rule. The split was about fifty/fifty between those who wanted Goren to remain and those who wanted Sebastian on the throne again."

"He told me he didn't want to start a war over the throne," Fenris nodded as they began to check over the equipment.

"Yes, especially after what he saw happen in Kirkwall over the years," the knight confirmed. "So he decided to let the matter go. Then he told us about the Grand Cleric being murdered and the destruction caused in Kirkwall and his intentions to hunt down those responsible and bring them to justice. He appealed to his father's oldest friends and was able to acquire more men. We took ship here and you know the rest."

Fenris nodded and then paused to look directly at the knight. "And what did you think of Sebastian's plans to come here and kill Anders?"

Reginald paused and looked up as well. "As a knight sworn to his service I'm required to follow his orders whether I agree with them or not. But, as a friend, I told him of my reservations of his plan of action. Not because I believed he was wrong to seek to punish those responsible for the death of so many. But because I believed he was doing it for the wrong reasons. I also figured that if everything he'd told me about your group was true, then we were most likely riding to our deaths."

"You would have been right about that," Fenris snorted. "Hawke would not have handed over Anders or allowed him to hand over himself. I would have supported Hawke if he chose to fight Sebastian, as would Merrill and Bethany. Fortunately for you, that proved to not be necessary."

"Despite what he told us, it was clear to me that my lord was seeking vengeance, not justice," Reginald shook his head. "Why that would be, I don't know, but I think it has more to do with how he feels about Hawke than anything else."

"You've noticed it then too?" Fenris smiled slightly.

"That his highness has personal feelings for the Champion? Of course," Reginald smiled back. "I've known him since he was a boy. It's impossible for him to hide everything he's feeling from me."

"This does not bother you? That Hawke is a man, I mean," the elf clarified.

"It's not the first time," Reginald shook his head. "To keep him from being a threat to his brothers was not the only reason his parents gave him to the Chantry. More than once I had to drag him home from a brothel or whorehouse. His carnal indulgence is what eventually broke the king's restraint."

"Not something I expected to hear about a man of the church," Fenris shook his head, not sure whether to be amused or disappointed.

Reginald busted out laughing, "It's been my experience that holy orders are no guarantee of fidelity or piety. Rather the opposite in fact. My father always said it was never good to bottle up your feelings. That the occasional indulgence was not only healthy for the body, but for the mind."

"If it is only occassional indulgence, that's fine," Fenris had stopped his cleaning of the tack and was staring off into the distance. "But, in Tevinter they didn't know the meaning of the word restraint. In fact, the more power a priest, magister, or templar had, the more they indulged themselves. As a result, the only indulgence I have allowed myself since escaping is my fondness for fine wine."

"What about companionship?" Reginald gaped at the elf, this not being what he expected to hear from a friend and companion to Champion, who's exploits were rather known.

"When I felt enough need for the touch of another person, I visited the Blooming Rose," the elf shrugged. "My hand sufficed otherwise. My experiences at the hands of my master were hard to overcome. Besides, having been a slave, I valued the friendships I formed with Hawke and Sebastian more than any personal pleasure I might have sought. So I focused on those and never bothered to pursue anything more."

Reginald made an accurate guess as to what the elf left unsaid and felt sympathy well in him. "I'd forgotten that you used to be a slave. You don't strike me as the type and you seem very confident."

"That has taken years for me to develop," Fenris shook his head. "Sometimes, I can even forgot for a while myself. The memories no longer bother me and hopefully one day I will not think of it at all."

They continued working in silence for a while. Then Reginald stopped and looked at the elf once more. "Do you intend to stay on with Hawke now that he is on his way to a full recovery?"

"He was the first real friend I ever had, and if it wasn't for him, I might have been retaken by Danarius or his hunters," Fenris stopped and looked up at the knight. "More than that, he's become like a brother to me and I will stay with him for as long as he needs or wants me, no matter where he goes or what he does."

"You have no family left in Tevinter?" Reginald saw the elf shake his head.

"I had a sister, but she betrayed me to Danarius just to gain his favor and become his apprentice," Fenris growled at the memory. "She decided power was more important than family. I killed her for it."

"Your own sister?" the knight was shocked.

"All magisters practice blood magic, and Danarius used it constantly," the elf snapped. "My sister would have become just as corrupted as him, a blood mage with no compassion or pity. That is not someone I would wish to call family."

"I see," Reginald said softly. "Still, even though it was necessary, it couldn't have been easy."

"Hawke helped me with that too," Fenris said just as softly. "I owe him more than I can ever repay. So, I stand by him until the day I die, or he dies, or tells me to leave."

"I feel much the same way about my lord," the knight nodded. "He may have no kingdom now, but to me, he will always be The Prince of Starkhaven and my friend. I will stand by him to the end, whenever and wherever it may come to us."

"Speaking of his highness, I wonder if he's managed to convince Hawke to leave his little haven here," Fenris mused.

"You think he can do it?" Reginald asked and saw the elf nod. "I do too." He turned his attention finally to the wagon. "Okay, let's see what kind of shape you're in."

Fenris turned his attention to the pony, studying it with a critical eye. "Well, you definitely need a trim and your hooves probably need to be reshod. Let's see, shall we?" The pony merely twitched an ear and then returned to eating the hay in his stall.

Meanwhile, Sebastian had found Hawke and was trying to bolster his confidence a little. He repeated the things already stated, but still saw the man wasn't convinced. "I know you think you can't do this, but you can. You are a born leader, never doubt that. You always did the best you could and made the best of the choices given to you. You got your family out of Lothering against impossible odds when so many others perished. You defeated the Arishok and saved Kirkwall. And you protected the innocent from suffering for the crimes of others by stopping Meredith. That others died during all this isn't your fault. You can't save everyone Hawke. No one can, not even the Maker himself."

"I know, but-" Liam hesitated. He wasn't sure he could explain his reluctance to leave. At least not in a way others could understand.

"What are you afraid of?" Sebastian asked softly, coming to sit beside Liam where he sat cross-legged by the stream. He saw the man about to protest and cut him off, "You are afraid of something."

Liam looked down at his hands and swallowed hard. "Here, in this place, there is peace. We are not likely to encounter any trouble we aren't capable of handling."

"You're afraid to lose the rest of us," Sebastian stated softly and saw him nod. He sighed, "Hawke, you had to know that it was a possibility once Anders set things into motion. There is no truly safe place anymore. War is coming to Ferelden, whether you decide to leave this place or not. If Orlais is successful in their attempt to conquer this nation, then hiding here won't save you or us."

"I know that, but-"

"But nothing," Sebastian said firmly. "I would rather take the battle to my enemy than sit around and wait for them to come and find me. That way I fight the battle on my choice of grounds, on my terms. That is the only chance for victory. You've never been one to sit back and let others fight your battles. Don't start now."

"At least here I'm not likely to make a mistake and get dozens or even hundreds killed," Liam retorted.

"You've never made a bad decision Hawke, and you won't start doing that now."

Liam looked up and met the prince's steady gaze. He could see that Sebastian had complete faith in him and he marveled at it. "You didn't believe in me so strongly a year ago. What changed?" he asked suspiciously.

Sebastian decided to be completely honest, whether the man was ready for the knowledge or not. "I never stopped believing in you Hawke. It was just buried under a lot of grief, anger, and jealousy. I believed in you then and I believe in you now. And unless you tell me to leave, I plan to stay by your side no matter where you go or what you decide to do."

"Why?"

Sebastian met his gaze and said softly, "Because I love you Hawke."

Liam sat back in surprise. "I vaguely remember you saying something like that on that rainy night. I didn't really believe you then. I'm not sure I do now."

"I told you before how I was wild in my youth," he looked away. "I slept with men and women of all races. I indulged in carnal pleasures so much that it forced my parents to take a stand. But until that night with you I never felt any kind of emotional connection. What I felt that night I could not even begin to describe. It took years for me to understand it and when I finally did, I discovered that I wanted to feel it for the rest of my life. But by that time you were with Anders and I had missed my chance."

Liam could see he was expecting some kind of response. "What makes you so sure?"

"Elthina," Sebastian said softly. "After that night, when you kept coming to me, trying to see me alone to talk about what happened, she began to take notice that something was wrong. She finally got me alone and practically ordered me to talk. I told her everything and when I was done she simply smiled and said 'love is what you feel Sebastian'. She then told me that she was releasing me from my vows as a brother. She said it was because I should never have taken them in the first place. The Maker had not called me to serve him and that I should move on with my life."

"You never said anything about this," Liam whispered.

"I couldn't because of your relationship with Anders," he shook his head. "I asked Elthina if I could stay in Kirkwall, in the Chantry. She asked why I did not return home and seek my throne. It was then I admitted to her that I wanted to stay near you, be there for you in any way I could. I loved you and had missed my chance, but at least I could be your friend. And if your friend is all I can be now, then that's what I'll be."

Liam knew that he still had feelings for the prince, but hesitated to express them. Anders had only been dead for a couple of months. It seemed disloyal to the mage to even think about another man. But, he had to tell Sebastian something. "I don't know if we can ever get back what we had. I loved Anders and I still love him. I may never be able to return your feelings, but I could use a friend right now. I cannot promise more than that right now."

"I expected nothing more than that Hawke," Sebastian smiled. "I too miss our friendship and look forward to renewing it." He didn't say that he hoped someday to be more than friends. It was enough to be a part of Hawke's life.

"I suppose we should get back and see about helping with packing and stuff like that," Liam stood up and held out his hand for the prince. When the prince took it and stood, he held on to it for a brief moment, surprised by the spark he felt jump between them. It was still there, but he wasn't ready to deal with it. Without a word, he released Sebastian's hand and began to walk back to the hut.

Sebastian had felt the spark as well and seen the knowledge of it in Hawke's eyes. He smiled, knowing that it was a good sign. He was in no hurry and this was just the first step. He'd waited this long for the man, he could wait a bit longer. Smiling, he hurried after the warrior.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

They took their time traveling south. It was summer in Ferelden after all and the weather was near perfect. Liam's strength was returning rapidly, as was his old skill with sword and shield. They stopped early every night so that they could practice their fighting skills. The land was peaceful, aside from a few roaming bands of thieves who gave their group a wide berth. None of them wanted to wait until Orlesians were knocking at the door to see if they were ready for a fight. They didn't rush to leave in the morning either. It was as relaxed a journey as they'd ever made together. It was hard to believe it had only been a week since leaving the forest. It seemed like much longer.

Liam, riding on a large bay gelding Sebastian had purchased from a farm two days prior, gripped the pommel suddenly as the beast sidestepped something on the ground. "Hey, woah!" Laughter from the wagon behind him had him turning around. "Oh yeah, very funny your highness."

"Unless the horse rears or bucks, you're not going to fall," Sebastian chuckled.

"Actually, he's doing rather well considering it's only his second day on the animal," Fenris noted. He was riding a dapple gray mare purchased from the same farm.

"You seem to be very handy with your mount," Liam looked at the elf askance. "You said you've never ridden a horse before," he accused.

"He said he couldn't remember Hawke, big difference," Merrill spoke up. "Besides, all elves have a way with animals and are natural riders. Of course he would get the hang of it quicker."

"Of course he would," Liam mocked, glowering at the little Dalish, causing more laughter.

Fenris merely shrugged and then prodded his horse into a faster walk. This caused Liam's horse to speed up as well, eliciting more curses from the big warrior. The elf just smiled and ignored him. They continued at that pace for another hour before Liam finally called a halt.

"I can't feel my ass anymore," he said mulishly. "I'm not going any further today." He dismounted from the beast, a huge groan escaping him. Using both hands he rubbed his butt, ignoring the snickers from the others. He didn't protest when Fenris came and took the horse. He merely scowled at the elf as he began to remove the tack from the horses. The area was clear of trees and the grass was thick and springy. A near perfect site for camp. Sebastian had begun to set up a firepit. Sighing, Liam grabbed his hatchet from the wagon and set about chopping some branches for the fire.

"Now I understand your reasoning for the water barrels in the wagons," Reginald said as he unhitched the pony from the wagon so the animal could graze comfortably. "I would never have considered the problem of finding an adequate water supply."

"For all its lush foliage and abundant earth, Ferelden doesn't have a large number of lakes and rivers and such," Merrill said as she filled a pot with water from one of them. "The Dalish know that it can be days between water sources."

"But the maps I saw showed numerous streams and rivers all over the place," Sebastian protested.

"Merrill's talking about free water sources," Liam corrected him. "The Bannorn control much of the land around here and don't care for strangers poking around. The stream in the forest was the only one for a couple of days ride in any direction. Outside of it, I don't want to run the risk of annoying some peasant and getting into a fight. Hence, the barrels."

"The Dalish live off the land and thus know exactly where there is water, at least inside the forest," Merrill agreed. "We learned long ago that it was best if we avoided contact with shems. Even a lone farm is part of some bann's land. That's why we know the Brecilian Forest so well and pretty much keep to it. Shems are afraid of the place and rarely dare venture there. They certainly wouldn't dream of actually living in it."

"The Brecilian Forest belongs to the royal family, the Theirins," Liam reminded her. "I heard that since he became king, Alistair Theirin has passed laws protecting the Dalish's rights to roam them. As a reward for their assistance in fighting the Blight."

"Oh, my clan left before any of that occured," Merrill was startled. "We never heard anything about that in the Free Marches." She stared thoughtfully into the fire.

"I must admit to curiosity about the structure of the noble families of Ferelden," Fenris spoke up. "All I ever heard in Tevinter about Ferelden was that it was a barbaric land full of mud and dogs, and that the people were little better than heathens."

"Eww, nobles are about as interesting as mushrooms," Merrill wrinkled her nose, generating snickers from the rest of them. "Let's talk about anything but them."

"Do you think me a heathen?" Liam smiled at Fenris.

"No, but when we first met you didn't seem very civilized," Fenris said apologetically. When the others busted out laughing he couldn't help but join in.

"It's true, I wouldn't have known a fine wine if it sat up and bit me," Liam laughed along with them. "Yes, the rest of Thedas considers the people of Ferelden to be little better than Chasind barbarians."

"So just how is the nobility ranked here in Ferelden?" Sebastian prodded.

"Well, first you have the King and his family," Liam frowned as he tried to remember what he'd been taught as a kid. "Then below them you have the Teryns, then the Arls, then the Banns. All swear fealty to the throne, but the Teryns often command the fealty of the lesser nobles of their lands. Arls swear to Teryns, Banns swear to Arls and by extension the Teryn they serve. Some Banns bypass the Arls and swear to the Teryns directly or the throne directly."

"It sounds as complicated as the Orlesian aristocracy," Reginald said in disgust.

"Nothing is that complicated," Sebastian snorted. "They have more minor lords than Ferelden has dogs."

"Okay, take Lothering for example," Liam broke in. "It falls within the terynir of Gwaren, the holdings of the late Teryn Loghain Mac Tir. His daughter Anora, the deposed Queen of Ferelden, holds them now in fealty to the crown. Actually, from what little mother had heard, I gather she was there under house arrest, lest she harbor designs on the throne."

"It's been over ten years, surely she's no longer a threat," Fenris protested.

"Probably not, but why take a chance?" Liam shrugged. "Anyway, Lothering may fall under that terynir, but it belongs to the bannorn. If the bann changes his fealty, Lothering's changes as well, unless the mayor decides otherwise."

"So fealty is determined by the person in control of the lands, not by proximity to any other place?" Sebastian asked and saw him nod. "That leaves a lot of room for misunderstanding."

"But, it also gives leaders a way out if they find themselves under the thumb of a tyrant," Liam pointed out. "Take the Arling of Amaranthine. It once belonged to the Howe family, and from what I've heard, Rendon Howe was a nasty piece of work. He used the Blight as a means to gain power for himself. He killed the entire Cousland family and their servants, except for the eldest son. He then declared himself Teryn of Highever. He was eventually caught and killed by none other than Drevan and Alistair, for other crimes against Ferelden. Fergus Cousland had survived Ostagar and was reinstated as the Teryn of Highever. The Arling of Amaranthine was gifted to the wardens, and for the most part, the lesser nobles and peasants of the area are better off than they were. However, even if this hadn't been handled for them, they could have sworn oath directly to the throne, thus bypassing both the Arl and the Teryn of the area."

"It still seems to be a rather inefficient way to govern a land," Sebastian shook his head.

"It works for us," Liam shrugged. "It's also why breaking an oath of fealty is considered the most heinous of crimes to Fereldens. A person who murders a hundred people would not be as reviled as an oath breaker. The Howe name has been tainted by Rendon's actions and all members of that family would be black listed by the noble families for a very long time. Same with Loghain and his family. Anora, though much beloved as Queen, sheltered her father and allowed him to claim regency despite what he did at Ostagar. She was tainted by his betrayal and it cost her the throne."

"But couldn't she have married Alistair?" Reginald asked.

"From what rumors mother heard, she wanted to be queen by herself and refused to even consider Alistair as a husband before the Landsmeet," Liam shook his head.

"Stew's ready," Merrill interrupted them and began handing out the bowls.

For a while they ate in silence. Finally, Fenris spoke again. "What exactly is this Landsmeet?"

"It's what it sounds like," Liam answered. "A meeting of the lands, or the nobles to be precise. It's where matters affecting the nation of Ferelden as a whole are discussed. Opposing parties bring their arguments before all of the banns, arls, and teryns. After all arguments are made and testimony heard, the matter is put to a vote. A majority vote wins. However, the loser has the right to challenge the winner and single combat can be declared. Champions are chosen and whoever wins is declared unequivocally the winner."

"No wonder Fereldens are perceived as barbaric," Sebastian shook his head. "Why not just declare single combat to begin with?"

"Because it seldom comes down to it," Liam smiled at the prince's shock. "Landsmeets are usually only called when there is a dispute over territory or questions about the suitability of a person holding a title, things like that. It's not for settling personal disputes and such. It prevents actual war from breaking out amongst the nobles involved, and most accept the decision of their peers. The one Arl Eamon called for during the Blight was unusual in that it was needed to prevent a civil war over the throne, which couldn't be allowed at the time. Loghain was too proud to accept the decision of his peers and forced the issue."

"At the time?" Fenris picked up on that distinction. "You mean if it weren't for the Blight, Ferelden would have suffered a civil war over the throne?"

"It's happened before," Liam shrugged.

"So, how did Alistair end up becoming king then?" Reginald asked. "He was a bastard and Grey Warden, and you said Anora was loved by the people."

"I asked Drevan that same thing," Liam replied. "He told me it was because he felt that since Loghain was so quick to betray the Wardens, then Loghain's daughter might feel the same way. She never questioned what her father was doing and thus lost the trust that many had placed in her. He spoke against her staying on the throne and for Alistair to take over. Because of all he had accomplished so far, including defeating Loghain, his word carried a great deal of weight."

"So they chose Alistair over her?" Fenris asked.

"Yes, and Alistair didn't want her," Liam answered. "So, she was banished and as far as I know, she still lives in Gwaren. She has no other family and no children."

"That sounds so lonely," Merrill sighed.

"I'm surprised no on has sought to marry her," Sebastian frowned. "The lands and title could pass to the husband's family if there were no children."

"Interested in pursuing the lady, your highness?" Liam asked, a slight edge to his voice.

"No," he snorted. "If I want lands and titles, I'll go back and fight for my throne. I never liked the idea of marrying for money or power." He hid his smile as he realized the reason behind the warrior's question. Liam was jealous.

"Do you ever intend to reclaim your throne?" Fenris asked him.

"To be honest, I don't know," Sebastian sighed. "The Vael family has ruled Starkhaven for generations. Even though Goren is simple and easily manipulated, he is a Vael, albeit not in direct line. He also has a wife and two children, so there are heirs. I don't know if I would make a better ruler than him. To regain the throne would mean war, and that only hurts the people."

"If your only reason for doing it is because you are the last of the direct line of Vaels, then don't do it," Liam told him. "If you truly think that your people would be better off under your rule than your cousin's, then reclaim it. Otherwise, let it go."

"You make it sound so simple," the prince shook his head.

"It is that simple," Liam said. "War hurts everybody, and you should have a damn good reason for starting one."

Silence fell once more around the fire as everyone's thoughts turned to Orlais and the coming war. Finally, Fenris spoke up, "Time to work off what you ate Hawke." He got to his feet and picked up his sword.

"Oh, come on," Liam groaned. "My butt hurts, my back hurts, my legs hurt..."

"And sword practice will work those muscles loose and help you get to sleep later," the elf shrugged.

Liam grumbled, but went to the wagon and got his weapons. He looked at the armor and hesitated. At some point, he was going to have to get into the habit of practicing in full armor. A twinge in his lower back decided him. Fighting in armor could wait until another day.

For the next couple of hours, as the sun set on the horizon, he and Fernis sparred, egged on by the others as they watched from beside the fire. For the first time, he found himself able to stay on the offensive against the elf, pushing Fenris back on his heels more often than not. For his part, the elf realized that Hawke had improved to the point where he wouldn't be able to beat the other warrior without using his special talents. He called a halt.

"I think that you no longer need to worry about facing Orlesians in battle Hawke," he told the man, gifting him with one of his rare smiles. "I can no longer defeat you without using my lyrium enhanced abilities."

"Really?" Liam looked surprised for only a moment and then a huge grin broke out on his face. He gave a huge whoop and twirled his sword around.

"Now, we just have to get you used to wearing heavy armor again," Sebastian had come over, a smile on his own face at seeing Hawke so happy.

Liam made a face, "Spoilsport."

"Just saying it like it is Hawke," Sebastian shrugged.

"Okay, but not tonight," he winced as rubbed his lower back. He moved back to the fire and sat down with a groan. He didn't realize that Sebastian had followed him until he felt hands touch his shoulders.

Sebastian knew he was risking a lot by being so forward, but he didn't like seeing Hawke hurting, especially since he was partly responsible. He felt the man tense briefly and then relax. Having his hands on Hawke, hearing the faint moans as he massaged a particularly tough knot, was causing him no small amount of discomfort in his trousers. He had always prided himself on his control, but this was pushing him to his limits.

It had been so long since anyone had sought to comfort him, had touched him in such an imtimate manner, that Liam couldn't keep tears from forming in his eyes. It felt so good that he was starting to get hard. He had loved Anders, really he had. But, the last two years it seemed all he'd done was give and give and give and got very little in return. Now, here was the man who'd sworn to kill Anders and drove him to desperate measure, giving him a massage. Of his own free will, without being asked. His thoughts were making him uncomfortable and so he stood up.

"I think we should turn in," he looked back at Sebastian. Seeing a brief look of disappointment cross the man's face he smiled. "Thank you." He lowered his voice and looked at the ground. "It meant a lot."

"You're welcome Hawke," the prince smiled back.

They banked the fire and lay down on their bedrolls. Sebastian lay on his side watching Hawke for a long time, thinking about the feel of the man's muscles under his hands. He finally fell asleep, but it seemed that he'd hardly done so before he was being woken up again. Opening his eyes, he blinked against the glare of the morning sun to see Hawke kneeling next to him. "What?" he growled.

"Well, look who's the grouchy one," Liam chuckled. "Breakfast is ready and I want to get moving as soon as possible."

Sebastian stood and stretched, "What's the big hurry?"

"We're getting close to Lothering," Liam answered. "I was up on that slight hill," he pointed to the right, "and realized that I recognized the land hereabouts. If we push the pace we can reach it by sunset, maybe even sooner."

"Then perhaps you and Fenris should ride in the wagon, ser," Reginald pointed out. "My lord and I are expert riders and can take the horses."

Liam looked like he was about to protest when Fenris spoke up, "That's a good idea. I'm still a little sore from yesterday. If I have to ride at a faster pace, I'll be too sore later to do much of anything."

"Okay, sure," Liam agreed.

They finished breakfast and cleaned up the camp site quickly. An hour later they were on their way. About midday the land started to look a little less green. There were many dead trees lying on the ground, and there were numerous black rocks scattered about. "Even after more than ten years, you can still see signs of the Blight," Fenris shook his head.

Liam said nothing but brought the wagon to a halt. He sat peering off to the right of the road. He could just make out the winding path that led out of Lothering and down into Gwaren. Seeing the evidence of the Blight brought the memories of the day they fled back to the surface. The smell of burning wood and flesh, the screams of those not fast enough to get away. He remembered it clearly. Then came the images of his mother and sister, both running fast, both terrified of not getting away.

"Are you alright Hawke?" Merrill asked softly.

Liam jerked himself back to the present, "Yeah, just thinking." He sat there looking down the last slope at the buildings in the distance. They were probably a couple hours out from the place. It seemed the report that Lothering had been rebuilt was a bit of an exaggeration. From what he could see, there were only a half dozen buildings.

"Looks rather small," Reginald said doubtfully.

"The land is still poisoned here," Liam told them. "Lothering was a crossroad town that catered to travelers along the Imperial Highway. However, the majority of the people living here were farmers."

"And if the land is still poisoned, then it can't be farmed," Sebastian finished.

"Yes," Liam nodded. "I imagine there's probably an inn, and stables, maybe a small market, but not much more. Our farm was located about a mile to the west of the main road, just outside the tree line."

"Let's head there first then," Sebastian suggested. "That's really what you came here to see, right?"

Liam nodded, "Yeah. Maybe it wasn't totally destroyed." He snapped the reins and the wagon moved forward again. About a mile later, he took a small side road off the main road. He pictured it the way it had been in his youth. Trees lining each side of the road, lush grass and the twitter of birds. Now, it was silent and dead looking. There were precious few trees and very little grass.

They turned a corner in the road and came to a stop. They had reached the Hawke farm, but there was precious little left. The main house had burned and only a few charred pieces remained. The lean-to on the left side of the house was standing, but barely. The small fields on either side were overgrown with weeds and scraggly plants they couldn't make out. Dismounting from the wagon, Liam stood in the middle of the road looking around.

"Let's set up camp," he told them and then moved off towards the tree line. Just before it, he saw the simple piece of granite that marked his father's grave. It was undisturbed and he felt tears swell up. It seemed the darkspawn hadn't destroyed everything.

"I thought it was a common practice for Fereldens to burn their dead," Sebastian stated quietly.

"Mother was from Kirkwall and in the Free Marches you bury the dead," Liam reminded him. "Besides, I wanted to bury him. I thought-" he paused, not wanting to seem foolish.

"If his body was still here, then he wasn't really gone," the prince finished softly, placing a hand on Liam's shoulder.

"Silly huh?"

"Not at all, Hawke, not at all," he responded softly.

They stood silently by the grave for a long time. "Let's go eat," Liam finally said and turned away.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

After a restless night spent tossing and turning, Liam decided to ride the trail that led from their farm and down into Gwaren. He told the others his intentions over breakfast, and as expected, faced opposition from all of them. "I won't be gone long and there's no danger here anymore," he insisted.

"Even though we've not faced a problem with them, there are still roaming gangs of thieves and bandits out there," Fenris argued. "You may be feeling back to your old self, but you're still just one man and will be no match for a group of desperate men."

Sebastian, seeing Hawke glance at his mabari and open his mouth to argue further, decided to put his own two bits in. "Even with a trained attack dog, you'd still be at a disadvantage. So, I'll go with you to watch your back. With my bow, I'll be able to pick off any attackers that come our way before they reach us."

Liam scowled at him, "I'm not going to be able to talk you out of coming with me, am I?" Seeing the prince shake his head he sighed loudly. "Okay, you can come," he grumbled. He ignored the snicker from Fenris.

Sebastian smiled and finished his porridge quickly. "I'll go get the horses ready," he announced as he stood up. He had been waiting for an opportunity to get Liam alone. Over the past few days, he'd seen Liam looking at him more often. In camp, Liam had taken to sitting right next to him, so close they were almost touching. In fact, they had touched a few times and it had been electric. Each time it happened he'd met Liam's gaze and seen what he believed was desire in the man's eyes. The presence of the others had kept them from doing anything. This was his opportunity to see if what he thought was beginning to happen between them really was.

"Here," Merrill held out a wrapped package to Liam. "It's some dried meat, cheese and half a loaf of bread."

"I don't think we'll be gone that long," he told her even as his hand reached for the bundle.

"Hawke, you're going to be alone with the Prince," Merrill rolled her eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"Really Hawke?" she cocked her head. "I've seen the way you two look at each other."

"But, Anders-"

"Is dead now and you've mourned him long enough," she interrupted. "In fact, he's really been dead to you for the past couple of years."

"What in the blazes does that mean?" Liam scowled at the little Dalish.

"How long has it been since someone took care of your needs Hawke?" she asked archly. "You haven't really been in a relationship in a long time. A relationship is where two people give to each other. All you did the past couple of years is give. All Anders did was take. I know you loved each other, but if he hadn't died then your relationship would have been over anyway and you'd be in the same place as you are now. Alone."

Liam knew she was right, but he wasn't ready to admit it. "That doesn't mean I should jump into Sebastian's arms."

"I'm just asking you to be open to the possibility," Merrill stressed and turned to go back to the fire. "You deserve to be happy Hawke," she tossed over her shoulder. She went to join Fenris as he sat by the fire working on thier equipment.

Liam watched her go and then shook his head, a rueful smile curving his lips. It seemed that everyone was interested in him and Sebastian getting together. There was nothing holding him back now, nothing but fear of getting hurt again. He'd fallen hard for the Prince and then was rejected. It had hurt him, deeply. Anders had been a rebound, but he'd come to admire and then love the man and had that love returned, for a little while at least. But Merrill was right, that love hadn't been fully returned in a long while. That had hurt him deeply as well. Now he was being given a second chance with his first love. If it didn't work out, if he lost him again, for whatever reason, he didn't know if he'd survive it.

"Ready to go?" Sebastian asked as he led the horses over.

Liam looked up and smiled, "I guess so. Even got provisions," he held up the bundle Merrill had given him. Turning to the bay gelding, he tied the package behind the saddle and then mounted it.

"You're getting good at that," Sebastian noted as he swung into his own saddle on the back of the mare. "We'll make a rider out of you yet."

"Yeah, well I'll get plenty of practice today," Liam turned the horse towards the path and started off, Ripper trotting beside them. They rode in silence for a while, enjoying the warm summer morning, listening to the twitter of birds and smelling the scent of the trees. "I don't really remember how long this path is," he finally said.

"You mentioned that you'd run for quite a while, stopping for brief rests along the way," Sebastian answered. "You also said that you'd left mid-morning but didn't reach the lands of Gwaren before sunset."

"That's because after meeting Flemeth we no longer had to run," he told him. "She did something that shielded us from the darkspawn creatures crawling everywhere. We were exhausted and took full advantage of the slower pace."

"I can't imagine what you went through," the prince shook his head. "It must have been terrifying for you and your family."

"The funny thing is, I wasn't scared of facing the darkspawn," Liam disagreed. "As long as I had my sword and shield I knew that I could defeat them. I also knew that, despite being young and not trained in the Circle, Bethany would be able to hold her own against them as well. Even Carver, as foolish as he could be sometimes, was very skilled with his sword. As long as we stood together and followed my plan, we'd be okay."

"But the plan fell apart didn't it?" Sebastian asked softly, looking across at the man riding beside him. Seeing the surprise on the warrior's face he clarified, "Bethany told me what happened that day and how Carver behaved."

"Yes, my brother didn't stick to the plan," Liam's voice was horse with sorrow and regret. "I guess I didn't impress upon him strongly enough just how important it was for him to follow my orders to the letter. I should have remembered his behavior in Ostagar."

"You both were there when the King's army was defeated, but you managed to survive," Sebastian couldn't keep the admiration out of his voice.

"By the skin of our teeth," the warrior snorted. "We weren't part of the main force where the King was. We were on the far left flank near the Tower of Ishal with the other, less seasoned fighters. I remember Carver grumbling about it, saying there was no glory to be had."

"War is hardly glorious," Sebastian snorted. "It's ugly, confusing, and sickening."

"We found that out quickly enough," Liam sighed. "Even though we weren't part of the main force, the horde was so massive that there were more than enough enemies to keep us busy. I remember looking up once and seeing the beacon light on the Tower burning and wondering where Loghain's forces were. Everyone had been told the plan by their commanders, we all knew what was at stake. I heard what sounded like a retreat horn and looked around to see whole regiments leaving."

"You saw the teryn's forces marching away?" Sebastian gasped out. "I imagine you were shocked."

"Shocked and horrified at the same time," he agreed. "I looked around quickly and saw that none of the commanders on our side of the field were still alive and the number of darkspawn were now greater than our remaining forces."

"So you did the only sensible thing, you retreated," Sebastian nodded. "Just like the old adage says, 'Live to fight another day'."

"Yeah, but Carver disagreed," Liam sighed heavily. "He wanted to keep fighting even though the battle was already lost. I had to drag him away from the field. We were soon joined by others who also had come to the same conclusion. As we left, we heard people yelling that the King was dead and that all the Grey Wardens were dead as well. I can tell you honestly that I was terrified by that news. We could survive without a king, we still had our queen. But, fighting the darkspawn without any Wardens?"

"So you left and managed to reach Lothering in time to get your family out," the prince prompted when it seemed Liam wasn't going to say more.

"We moved as fast as we could, sometimes with others, more often by ourselves," he continued. Seeing the puzzled look the prince gave him, he smiled ruefully. "We were heading home to Lothering, the others were just looking to escape the horde. Lothering was in the direct path of the darkspawn and even though it would take the horde a few weeks to reach it, it still wasn't a good place to go if you had no reason to. It was the most likely target for the horde."

"At least you made it in plenty of time to get out ahead of them," Sebastian pointed out.

"Yes, and we found several refugees already there," Liam continued the tale. "We went to the farm and discussed our options. Mother, Carver, and even Bethany were in favor of waiting out the storm. No one knew for certain then that the horde would head towards us, and they didn't want to leave the farm and all we built there. Even when several of the refugees began leaving, and reports of large number of darkspawn near the border of Lothering came in, they still refused to give up hope the horde would leave us alone. No matter what I said, I couldn't convince them to leave until it was almost too late."

"I know how hard it is to leave all you know behind," Sebastian sympathized. "When my parents gave me to the Chantry, I was resentful because I had to leave my horse, my hound and my friends behind. It took a long time before I got over what I lost and tried to embrace my new life."

"Well we did make it out, and this is the path we followed when we left," Liam fell silent once more, losing himself in the memories.

They rode in silence along the winding path. There was ample evidence still of just how much the Blight had damaged the lands. There were new trees, grass, and flowers growing, but burned and blackened rock and dirt could still be seen underneath, with spots now and then of obvious corruption. The path itself showed no sign of recent activity. They reached an open area and Hawke came to a halt.

"This was the first place we stopped to catch our breath," he pointed out. "Carver and Bethany started arguing about why we waited so long to leave. I stopped their bickering in time to get them to focus on a few darkspawn who appeared out of nowhere. Then we discussed where we could go and mother suggested Kirkwall, much to Bethany's dismay. Carver had no opinion one way or the other, as usual."

Sebastian said nothing, merely urging his mount forward when Hawke moved on. He understood that the warrior was laying old ghosts to rest. Still, the insight he was getting into Hawke's mind was without price. He only hoped that when all was said and done that the man would be ready to move forward and leave his past behind for good. Then they could truly begin to rebuild their relationship into something that would stand the test of time. Or, at least he hoped so.

Liam continued on until he reached a low rise and looked down on yet another open space in the path. "That is where we met Aveline and her husband Wesley. They had been ambushed by a large group of darkspawn and were almost overwhelmed. I don't know if it was luck or fate that we came along when we did. If we hadn't, then Aveline might have died here and things would have turned out differently in Kirkwall."

"I never really believed in luck," Sebastian responded. "But, I believe in the Maker and I believe that it was his plan that you arrive in time to save her."

"Well, meeting her was a mixed blessing," Liam told him. "You see, her husband was a Templar and he recognized Bethany for what she was right away. When he threatened my sister, I got in his face. Fortunately, Wesley listened to his wife and my sister kept her cool and nothing happened. But the rest of our journey together was fraught with tension."

Sebastian mulled that over as they continued riding. He knew that Templars could be over zealous sometimes, but to make an issue of an apostate's presence while fleeing darkspawn seemed a little on the ridiculous side. There'd been a few like that in Kirkwall, some so bound by the rules they lived by that they couldn't see any other side. They had been the biggest source of problems between the Circle and the Templars. Luckily, Ser Wesley had listened to his wife.

Liam came to a halt once more, this time in an extremely large clearing. Sebastian took one look at his face and knew they'd arrived at a particularly bad spot. Looking around, he saw the sun glinting off some metal and dismounted to make his way over to it. When he reached the edge of the clearing, he saw what was left of the breastplate with a Templar insignia on it. He sucked in a breath and turned wide-eyed to where Hawke was still sitting on his horse. "This is where you fought the Ogre?"

Heaving a deep sigh, Liam dismounted and went to join the prince. Looking down, he saw a few bones and some bits metal lying in two different spots. Sebastian was crouched beside Wesley's remains and he crouched next to the other bones. He studied them silently for a long time.

"If this is all that remains of Ser Wesley, then that must be-" Sebastian's voice trailed off.

"What's left of my brother," Liam finished and shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe that there's anything left, not after more than a decade. I was told that darkspawn eat bodies. At the very least, I would have expected the bones to be gone, taken by animals."

"I see the Maker's hand in this," Sebastian said softly. "The bones have been preserved so you could return and give them a proper buriel."

For all his skepticism about just how much the Maker involved himself in the affairs of men, he had to admit that in this particular case the prince was right. "You still have your faith? Even after everything you've seen?"

"Of course," Sebastian looked at him in surprise. "I know that the Maker cares for us and that we'll be reunited with him in death. The Maker is not found in a building, but in men's hearts. Many have forgotten that in their pursuit of personal power."

"Like the Divine," Liam pointed out. He saw the prince open his mouth to protest and cut him off. "There is no argument you can make to justify what she is doing. She is supporting a war against Ferelden that is nothing more than a grab for power by greedy Orlesians. She is no longer serving the Maker and I for one hope that the true believers see it and break with her."

"A schism in the Chantry would escalate things far beyond any violence between Templars and Mages," Sebastian cried out. "It would lead war on a global scale. How can you want that?"

"Andraste waged war to bring down the Imperium," Liam reminded him. "Her war was fought on a global scale. Unfortunately her dream has been twisted and corrupted by power hungry men and women who see the Chantry as a means to wealth and power. This war with Orlais is only the start Sebastian. You have to understand that when we win, and we will win, the other nations will see just how weak and corrupt the Divine and the Empress have become."

"If that happens, then people like the Qunari will have a field day," Sebastian shook his head in dismay at the thought.

"They are too busy battling the Imperium to be of concern for a while," Liam disagreed. "Fenris told me once that if they wanted to conquer the Imperium they would. He said they are content with the lands they have for now. The only reason they would venture out of Seheron these days is if they were antagonized into doing so. Remember, the only reason they came to Kirkwall was because Isabella stole from them."

"And if the Chantry does become divided they might decide they are no longer content with what they have," the prince argued. "The Chantry has the single largest standing army in the world. Joined in a single purpose, they are nigh unstoppable and are the main reason the Qunari haven't pushed things."

"Maybe, maybe not," Liam shrugged. "My mother always said not to borrow trouble and so we'll let the future take care of itself and worry about the present."

"We seem to always find the most awkward places to have these kinds of conversations," Sebastian said ruefully. "Let's see about laying these poor souls to rest."

They carefully gathered the few remains of the two men and placed them side by side at the edge of the clearing. Not having anything with which to dig a grave or build a pyre, they spent the next couple of hours finding large rocks and laying them over the remains. Once done, Sebastian said the prayers for the dead and commended their souls to their Maker. "Even though I'm sure they've been at the Maker's side all these years, it's still the right thing to do."

Hot, sweaty and hungry, they decided to rest there for lunch. They were actually at a much higher elevation than the farm and there was a refreshing breeze blowing. It was very peaceful, which was so different from his memories that Liam found he wasn't sad or even angry. No, he was finally at peace with what had happened. He looked over at Sebastian and found the prince watching him closely.

"You okay Hawke?"

Liam thought for a moment before answering. "I think for the first time, in a long time, I am. I'm glad that I came up here. I finally get a chance to say a proper good bye, to my brother and my past."

"I'm happy for you Hawke," Sebastian laid his hand upon his arm. "You've suffered so much, for which I'm partly responsible. It's good that you can finally be at peace."

"At least until the Orlesians show up," Liam frowned at the thought of the impending invasion.

"We'll face them side by side and emerge victorious," Sebastian promised.

"We?" Liam locked his gaze on the prince.

"Yes," Sebastian swallowed, "if you want me there that is."

Liam took the prince's hand in his own and held it as he looked into the other man's eyes. "Years ago I fell in love with a handsome and charming prince. I wanted that man to be a permanent part of my life. But years ago he wasn't ready for that and I lost him. Now he's returned to my life and this time he's ready for that commitment. I did love Anders, but my heart never forgot you Sebastian. So yes, I want you there by my side until death parts us."

"Then by your side is where you'll find me," Sebastian said solemnly before leaning forward and sealing his promise with a kiss. He felt Liam return the kiss and his heart soared. He pulled back after a little while and said, "I hope that wasn't too soon Hawke."

"Call me Liam," the warrior said with a smile. "And no, it wasn't too soon."

Sebastian looked up and saw that it was now a little past noon. "If we're going to continue down into Gwaren, we should get moving."

"Actually, it's not necessary to continue forward," Liam shook his head and got to his feet. He held his hand out to the prince and pulled him up and into his arms. "I got my answers and found what I was looking for. Let's return to the others."

Sebastian smiled and hugged the warrior tightly for a few moments before pulling away. He turned and saw Ripper watching them and paused. "Do you approve ser?" he asked the animal.

Ripper got to his feet and plodded toward them, looking back and forth between them as he did so. He stopped in front of them and sat down. He looked at them for a few minutes more before breaking into a doggy grin and barking.

"I believe that's a yes," Liam reached down and patted the mabari.

Sebastian got down on eye level with the dog. "I promise to take care of him. Between us, he shouldn't get himself into too much trouble, yes?"

Liam laughed as the dog barked his agreement and then licked the prince's face. "Well I think that settles it. Let's get back to the others and tell them the good news."

"You do realize that we'll have to listen to Merrill squealing and saying 'I told you so' when we do," Sebastian grimaced.

"I can put up with it for a day or two," Liam mounted his horse. "But after that we might have to resort to desperate measures."

"I'm sure that Fenris will be able to press upon her the merits of keeping it to herself," the prince had mounted and moved his horse to Liam's side. "I think those two make a good couple."

"What? Fenris hates her because she's a blood mage," Liam was shocked.

"Actually, he's been more cordial to her of late," Sebastian disagreed. "After all, she hasn't used her blood magic in several years. She's also elvish and quite attractive too. Neither of them have any family left, at least not any they want to claim."

"You really think they'll become a couple?"

"If they aren't already," the prince smiled.

"Interesting," Liam mused. He was silent for a while before saying, "Well, we all deserve some happiness in our lives, especially those two."

Sebastian laughed and then turned the converstaion towards lighter matters. The troubles of the world could be worried about another time. All he wanted to do was enjoy his time with Liam.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The morning after his trip down memory lane, Liam led the rest down into the village of Lothering. They wandered around, examining the meager offerings. There was one small inn, a blacksmith, and a general store. The only other place of interest was a really small farmer's market. Here they found some fresh fruit and vegetables available, which they purchased for their trip. But, other than refilling the water casks at the well, there was not much else for them to see or do.

As they left the village proper, Liam stopped and looked back. "The Lothering I knew is gone. None of the people I knew growing up are there. Many, like us, waited until the last minute to leave. If some of them made it out, they decided not to return."

"I guess it's true what they say," Sebastian mused. "You can't ever really go home."

Liam looked at him, "Thinking about Starkhaven?"

The prince sighed, "Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out if I had returned after avenging my parents deaths."

"We wouldn't have become friends for one," Liam answered, his voice tight. Was the other man regretting things between them?

Sebastian saw the worry and smiled in reassurance, "Getting to know you, becoming your friend, and perhaps more, makes up for not having a throne anymore."

Liam blushed at the snickers that statement caused. "Yes, well, we need to decide where to go next."

"I vote for Ostagar," Reginald spoke up. "The place is steeped in so much history, including that famous battle all those years ago."

"I heard my people were given lands there," Merrill put forth. "I'd like to see them, see how they're getting along."

Liam frowned and turned away, "Ostagar was the beginning of the end. That battle was horrible. Horrible enough to still give me nightmares on occassion."

"Then we don't go there," Sebastian placed a hand on Hawke's shoulder. "Perhaps we could go to Redcliffe or Lake Calenhad?"

"That is where the Circle of Magi is," Liam turned in astonishment. "Why would you want to go there?"

"Anders was there in his younger days," the prince replied. "There must be people who remember him still there. All we ever heard from him was how terrible the Circle was. But that's just one man's point of view. It might be good to hear and see for ourselves just what it was like. After all, the Hero of Ferelden was from there and seemed to have good memories of the place."

"You would do this for me?" the warrior stepped closer, locking his gaze on the prince's.

"It would make you happy and that's important to me," was the reply.

Reginald smiled as he watched his master. He turned to Fenris, "It seems like the two of them are working past their differences."

"More like they're recapturing what they lost years ago," the elf retorted.

"So it's true then," the knight mused. "My lord was in love with the Champion." He paused and then said, "So why did Hawke end up with that mage?"

"You sound like you knew all along about them?" Fenris asked sharply.

"Not knew exactly, more like strongly suspected," Reginald explained. "Remember, I've known the prince since he was little. There's not much he can hide from me, even if he fools himself and everyone else. It was the way he spoke about Hawke and the look in his eyes. I suspected there was more to his wanting to hunt Anders down than just avenging the Grand Cleric."

"To answer your question, Sebastian couldn't accept the fact that he was in love with Hawke and turned him away," Merrill had been listening in. "Hawke was very lonely for a long time. Anders offered comfort, love and companionship."

"Yeah, well his higness was famous for his stubborness," Reginald snorted. "It's what got him sent to the Chantry as a boy to begin with."

"Let's hope that both of them are past such foolishness," Fenris remarked.

"Okay kids, let's go to Lake Calenhad," Liam announced as he headed toward the horses.

They headed west along the Imperial Highway. Liam and Sebastian took turns riding the horses with Fenris and Reginald. Merrill was happy to ride in the back of the wagon reading her tomes and books. The Dalish had taken a serious interest in improving her herbalist skill. It was something that she knew would prove far more useful in the future than her magic. There were lots of mages. But, she knew that skilled herbalists, ones with the knowledge to save lives, were rare.

They didn't hurry, stopping early and leaving late each day. Not wanting to attract too much attention, Liam had purchased some plain, heavy armor to wear instead of his Champion armor. If he wanted to ride, he could only wear the breastplate, as neither horse was built to carry a fully armored warrior. On their third day out, they stopped earlier than usual so that Liam could get in some serious practice in full armor.

Sebastian took the opportunity to practice his archery, while Reginald and Fenris took turns sparring with Liam. After about an hour, he stopped shooting and began to watch the warrior as he fought. After a few minutes, it was obvious to the prince that Hawke had his full strength back. The man really took one's breath away. Despite his size, he moved with the grace of a panther and easily blocked and parried every thrust and move the other two threw at him.

"Hey you guys, supper's almost ready," Merrill called from the fire where she was turning the two large hares that Sebastian had killed for them.

The men quickly sheathed their weapons, took off the heavy armor, and wiped the sweat off their faces. They finished just as Merrill was pulling the hares off the fire. As they gathered around, she wrinkled her nose. "I hope you guys plan on bathing tonight."

The four of them goggled at her. Liam sniffed a couple of times, "I guess we are getting a little ripe."

"Yes, you are," Fenris agreed.

"Humans really need to bathe more frequently than they do," Merrill prattled on. "Sebastian's not too bad, but then he hasn't worked himself up like you and Reggie," she pointed at Hawke and the knight.

"I suppose this is another thing that elves have an easier time with," Liam snorted as he looked between the Dalish and Fenris.

"We don't sweat the way humans do, it's true," Fenris nodded agreement. "Mere physical exercise is not sufficient to warrant bathing afterwards."

"It's all well and good to talk about bathing, but where do you suggest we do that?" Reginald snorted. "And don't call me Reggie," he glared at the little Dalish.

"There's a stream about half a mile through the woods there, Reggie," Merrill pointed to the west of their camp. She burst into giggles at the scowl the knight threw her way.

"How could you possibly know that?" Sebastian's eyebrows went up.

"I can smell it on the air," the Dalish shrugged like it was no big deal.

They fell silent as they dug into their food. Reginald was the first to finish and he stood up, "I'll go take a quick dip. Don't want to keep offending our friends' sensibilities."

"No one has called him Reggie since he was a boy," Sebastian pointed out.

"Well, it seems silly to be so formal all the time," Merrill pouted. "It's not like we're at some fancy court where our manners will be judged. Plus, if Varric were here, he'd give the guy a nickname."

"I think the dwarf would be a little more creative," Fenris told her.

"Well, if it really bothers him then I'll just call him Reginald," the Dalish sulked.

Sebastian rolled his eyes at her and shook his head. "Do you want to go next Hawke?" he asked as he finished his plate.

Liam was in the process of reaching for the remaining rabbit and bread and shook his head. "S'okay," he mumbled around a bite of bread and held it up. "Still eating."

"At least we never have to worry about leftovers," Fenris chuckled as the big warrior wolfed down his dinner.

Liam grinned and finished picking one of the leg bones clean. He tossed it to Ripper who sat a little ways behind them gnawing on the other bones they'd given him. "Merrill's a really good cook."

"Even if she wasn't, I think you'd still be scarfing the food down," Fenris snickered.

"Hey, I gotta build myself up again," Hawke protested.

"Especially with the workout you're giving him these days Fenris," Merrill giggled.

They continued to tease Hawke about how much he ate until Reginald came back. Then Sebastian gathered up his stuff and went to bathe. Liam watched him go and then turned his attention to finishing his dinner. Once he'd done that, he picked up his armor and weapons and set about cleaning them. It took a while, but when he finished, Sebastian had still not returned. Hesitating only briefly, he gathered up some clean clothes, soap and towel and headed off to the stream.

Sebastian had finished cleaning himself off quickly. Archery didn't exactly cause one to work up a sweat. He could have passed on the bath for another day or two, but he had an ulterior motive. He hoped that if he took long enough, then Liam would get impatient and come to take his own bath. It wasn't really a polite thing to do, but he wasn't going to pass up an opportunity to show off his naked body to the warrior, or catch a glimpse of the warrior naked himself.

Liam heard splashing and slowed his step. He stopped just inside the tree line to watch the prince at his bath. The man was waist deep in the middle of the stream. The sun was almost set and it's fading rays made the prince's upper body seem to be made of burnished gold. Water sparkled as it dripped down the prince's shoulders and back. He felt his mouth go dry as he imagined what the water was hiding from him.

Sensing eyes on him, Sebastian turned his head and caught sight of Liam standing near, watching him. Slowly he turned around, a slight smile on his lips. Taking the soap, he began to slowly run it over his arms. After a minute he looked up again to see that the warrior was gaping, open-mouthed at him. Even in the fading light, the bulge in the warriors breeches was obvious. "Like what you see Hawke?"

Liam jerked his gaze up to meet the prince's. He licked suddenly dry lips and said horsely, "Yes."

"Come join me Hawke," Sebastian invited. He waited but the warrior made no move. Slowly he began to run the soap over his body again. "Come on Liam," he said softly. "I won't bite. Unless you want me to."

Liam hesitated for a moment more before stripping off his shirt. His breeches had become uncomfortably tight and he sighed in relief when he was finally able to loosen the ties and push them and his smalls down. He slowly walked down to the stream and entered the water, wading out to stand in front of the prince. He just stood there, staring, his breath coming in shallow pants. He hadn't been this turned on in a long time.

He reached out to gently run a finger down the middle of Sebastian's chest. "You look even better than I remember," he whispered.

"Here, let me wash your back," Sebastian turned him around and began to run the soap over his back. He could feel the muscles tense and relax under his touch. Liam's breathing began to come in even shorter gasps. Knowing that he was turning the warrior on spiked his own desire. He pressed up against the other man, letting him feel how aroused he was. "I've been wanting this for a long time, Liam."

Liam swallowed hard, trying to think of something to say and failing. As the prince continued to run the soap over him, he couldn't keep from moaning in pleasure. Maker, it had been so long since someone had touched him this way. He'd forgotten what it was like.

Sebastian slipped his arms around Liam's waist so he could run his hands over the muscled chest. He heard Hawke suck in a sharp breath as he played with the man's nipples. "You like this Hawke? It feels good doesn't it?"

"Maker yes," Liam moaned. Suddenly, he turned around and gripped the back of the prince's neck, holding him in place. He covered the other man's mouth with his own and proceeded to practically devour him. His other hand slid down to press the prince's groin to his own. He ground against him as the kiss deepened and grew even more intense.

Sebastian was surprised, but in no way unwilling, when Liam kissed him. The hunger, the need he could feel in the warrior called to his own. Reaching down, he gently grasped the warrior's manhood. He couldn't surpress a gasp of shock at the size of it. He pulled back and looked down, "Holy Maker, you're hung like a horse!"

"Sebastian, please," Liam begged against the prince's throat as he pushed against the hand holding him.

Capturing Liam's lips with his, he proceeded to wrap his hand around both his and Hawke's members. He slowly began stroking them, delighting in the deep moans of pleasure the warrior was making. It didn't take long for either of them to build to climax.

Liam's head moved back, his body jerking as he came. "Sebastian!" he cried.

Sebastian closed his eyes, finding his own release even as Liam began to relax into him. Feeling the warrior's knees give a little, he wrapped his arms around the other man and led him towards the shallower water. He pulled Liam down with him as he sat and tried to regain his composure. He realized suddenly that Liam was trembling. "Are you okay?" he asked, concerned he'd done something wrong.

Liam nodded, "Yeah, it's just been a long time since I've experienced anything that intense."

Sebastian frowned as he absorbed the nuances behind that statement. For him, celebacy had been a choice and he'd seldom felt the need over the past few years for sexual gratification. In fact, if he was honest with himself it was because everyone and everything paled in comparison to his one night with Hawke. But Liam had been in a relationship. "I didn't realize that your relationship with Anders had gotten that bad," he said encouragingly, hoping the warrior would open up a little more.

Liam sighed heavily, "You couldn't even call it a relationship the last couple of years. Justice was gaining more control, pushing Anders to be constantly writing and working. I had to fight just to get the man to eat properly or bathe properly. Sex in any form was pretty much out of the question. I took care of him and his needs and ignored my own."

"That is what we do when we love someone," Sebastian soothed. "We put their needs and desires ahead of our own for short periods. However, there is usually more of a give and take to a true relationship."

"Anders tried but-" Liam shook his head. "I refuse to blame him. I went into the relationship with my eyes open. I knew there might come a time when I would lose him to the spirit inhabiting his body. I chose to live with that risk rather than spend my life alone. And there were many good days and nights spent in loving arms."

"I should have been there for you," Sebastian said sadly. "I let my fear push you away. But, once I'd accepted the fact that I loved you I should have pursued you, despite your relationship."

"Hindsight is always perfect," Liam said ruefully. "I don't regret one day spent with Anders. Just like I never regretted that one night spent with you."

They sat in silence for a while before Liam finally stood up. "I should finish what I came here to do," he held up the bar of soap. "Care to join me?"

"If you think we'll actually manage to clean each other this time," the prince snickered.

"You have to admit, that was a fun way to get dirty," Liam grinned wickedly at him and then laughed when the prince blushed. "Come on pretty boy," he said and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him into the water.

Sharing the soap, they made quick work of cleaning themselves. As they stood on the bank drying themselves off, Sebastian got another good look at Liam. "Uhm, if this is too personal a question, you don't have to answer, but, was Anders ever on the receiving end of that monster of yours?"

Liam hesitated before answering. Soft, he was bigger than many men when they were fully hard. It was no failing of Anders that he couldn't take him. Sebastian already had a low opinion of the mage. "He did a couple of times, but had to use magic to ease the way and then heal himself afterwards."

Sebastian shook his head, "I'm not sure I'd have been that brave." He saw Liam's start of surprise and smiled slightly. "I'm no slouch in this department, but you are quite a bit larger than me. It would take a great deal of preparation for any man, or woman for that matter, to take you inside them."

Liam shrugged, "I've gotten used to that reaction." Seeing the prince's puzzled look he explained. "In my entire life, only two people have ever managed to take me. The first was a whore in a brothel in Denerim that my father took me to when I came of age. She was practiced in the art and took me, though not easily. After being with her, I realized that I didn't really enjoy it and was more turned on by the male prostitutes. Anders was the only other one with whom I've experienced that pleasure."

Sebastian could see that Liam was uncomfortable with the subject. He decided to try and put the man at ease. Sitting on the bank, he motioned for the other man to join him. When Liam sat beside him, he wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close. "You may be bigger than average, but it isn't as big a deal as I as making it seem. Yes, without careful preparation, it would be painful to take you. However, just like most things in life, it will get easier with practice."

"What are you saying exactly?" Liam's voice was soft and hesitant.

"That I plan to be a part of your life until death claims me," Sebastian said firmly. "I also prefer that we be equals in this relationship. Being on the top or the bottom is equally pleasurable for me. I'm not scared of your size because I know that with proper preparation it is possible. With regular practice, it will become easier."

"You sound very confident of that," the warrior smiled at him.

"Well, I did spend a great deal of time in whorehouses before being shut up in the Chantry," the prince reminded him. "I've probably seen more than you have ever dreamed of."

"I forgot you were once a very bad boy," Liam chuckled. "You're the kind of man my mother warned me about."

"Ha, ha, very funny," Sebastian snorted, but inside he was practically crowing. Things were going better than he expected. He hoped it would only get better from here.

"You know the others are probably wondering what happened to us," Liam cleared his throat and started to stand up. He had hardly moved before he was pulled back down again.

"They most likely assume, and rightly so, that we are getting to know each other more intimately," Sebastian told him. "I can almost feel you turning red," he chuckled.

"I am not," Liam protested despite the heat in his face. "I guess it wouldn't take too much work on their part to figure it out."

"No it wouldn't," the prince agreed. "In fact, I wouldn't be surprised to find Merrill has placed both our sleeping rolls into one tent when we get back."

Liam moved away a little so he could see Sebastian's face. "Is that something you want?"

"When you're ready," he shrugged.

Liam sat thoughtfully for a while. "I think that I would like to have someone hold me at night," he finally whispered. "I think I missed that the most these past couple of years."

"I would be happy to hold you every night, if that's what you want."

"You're being awfully accommodating," Liam pointed out.

Sebastian sighed, "Look Liam, I just want to make you happy. I messed up all those years ago. We are rarely given a second chance in life. I've been given a second chance with you and I want to be there for you. I want to give you everything you might want or need."

Liam smiled and then leaned forward and kissed him. "It's nice to hear that directed at me for a change. I just wanted to be sure that you truly want this. That it's not being done out of pity or something."

"I'm definitely not motivated by pity," Sebastian shook his head. "No, my motivation is farther south than my heart. Little Sebastian has his own needs and wants."

Liam busted out laughing at that. In fact, he laughed so hard that he felt tears well up as he fell onto his side. "You're too much sometimes your highness, you know that?" he finally managed to sputter. He continued to chuckle for a while longer. Finally, when he'd been reduced to hiccups, he sat up again. "I can't remember the last time I laughed like that."

Sebastian couldn't hide the big grin on his face. It was good to see Liam laughing again. "I do my best to please," he chuckled.

"Okay, let's get back to camp before they send out a hunting party," Liam got to his feet, holding his hand out to the prince.

Sebastian took it and allowed the warrior to pull him to his feet, but he kept hold of the hand afterwards. He used it to pull Liam to him so he could wrap him in his arms. He gently kissed him before turning and leading him back.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Sebastian sat opposite the fire from Liam, polishing his bow and watching the warrior from beneath his lashes. It had been three days since they shared that intimate moment at the stream. The prince had thought that perhaps Liam was ready to move to the next stage of rebuilding their relationship. However, the warrior seemed to have withdrawn once more, leaving the prince frustrated.

"I've been thinking that perhaps we should stop at Redcliffe Castle," Liam suddenly broke the silence that had fallen after they'd finished eating dinner.

"You mean before we go to the Circle?" Fenris clarified.

"Well, we're going to be going right by it," he pointed out.

"Actually, that sounds like a good idea," Sebastian spoke up. "We would be able to find accomodation and proper bathing facilities. Not only that, we would be able to get all the latest news of what's happening throughout Ferelden."

"It has been several weeks now since I left Denerim and only slightly less time since the Hero of Ferelden paid us a visit," Reginald mused. "We could find out if Orlais really is moving against the country and get some idea of when they might arrive."

"They may have even decided against invasion by this time," Merrill chirped. "After all, we had reports about circles uprising and templars going rogue. Problems may have developed in their own country."

Fenris goggled at her, "I'm surprised to hear you say that."

"What?" she bristled. "Just because I appear flighty doesn't mean I don't have a brain."

"I didn't mean it like that," the elf hastened to explain. "It's just you never showed any interest in such things before."

"Yes, well, back in Kirkwall I was rather obsessed with the past," she admitted. "But ever since the disaster with the Keeper, I've been trying to make myself more aware of what's going on around me."

Sebastian shifted uncomfortably at the reminder of how Merrill came to be with them. "I understand that Liam protected you from the vengeance of your clan. Is that why you continue to accompany him?"

"Hawke told me that I owed him nothing and was free to go wherever I wished," she arched an eyebrow at him. "I follow him because he is my friend and I care about what happens to him. Other than Varric, he's the only friend I have now."

"I consider you a friend," Fenris said softly, flushing slightly at the admission.

Merrill's eyes grew wide. "You do?" she whispered. When the other elf nodded, she giggled nervously and looked down at her hands. "It's nice to know that."

Liam cleared his throat, "Yes, well, if no one has any objections, I would like to go to Castle Redcliffe first. Given our current speed, we should reach it by late tomorrow."

"If you do go there, I would suggest a few changes," Reginald spoke up, turning to Sebastian. "Firstly, your highness, you should put on your royal armor and Hawke should don his Champion armor. You should announce yourself as the 'Prince of Starkhaven' and then announce Hawke as the 'Champion of Kirkwall' so those at the gates know who their dealing with."

"Wouldn't that raise an alarm in the soldiers?" Fenris frowned. "I'm sure everyone here has heard of the events in Kirkwall."

"Rather the opposite I would think," Reginald answered. "The appearance of royalty at the gates tends to put soldiers and others on their best behavior. Also, given how friendly people here are towards mages, I rather think they'd be more welcoming of Hawke and less disturbed by said events."

"Hmm, you're probably right," Sebastian nodded. "We'll have to do some polishing of the armor first though I imagine. Neither of us have worn it in a while."

"Actually, I cleaned up both sets during those times I rode in the wagon," Merrill told them. "I had nothing else to do and figured you might need them some day," she finished with a shrug.

"Well, then I guess we follow Reginald's plan," Sebastian smiled at her.

"Okay, we go with it," Liam nodded in agreement.

The group fell into a comfortable silence for a little while, each lost in their own thoughts about what might happen when they reached the castle on the morrow. Finally, stifling a yawn, Merrill got to her feet. "You'll probably want to get us on the road again at first light, so I'm going to bed early so I can get my beauty sleep." This was said with an eye cast towards her fellow elf. When nothing but silence greeted her remark, she shrugged and went to her tent.

Fenris saw the looks the other guys gave him and bristled, "What?"

"She wanted you to tell her she was so beautiful that she didn't need the rest," Reginald snickered, causing the other humans to laugh with him.

Seeing the blush stealing over the elf's cheeks, Hawke smiled at him, "You're interested in her romantically aren't you?"

"Is that true? Even though she's a blood mage?" Sebastian was puzzled.

"She hasn't used her blood magic since Keeper Marethari died," Fenris growled. "She hasn't even used her other magic. I don't hold her past against her, and neither should you."

"I don't, but I thought you might," the prince said mildly. "After all, you once were quite outspoken against mages and their propensity for resorting to blood magic. People can and do change." He gave a deprecating smile, "Just look at me."

"I watched her closely in the months immediately following the unfortunate demise of the Keeper," the elf told him. "Even I could see how much remorse she felt and how hard she tried to make up for the harm she had caused. She's very attractive," he added, almost as an afterthought.

"I think you two would make a cute couple," Liam teased, chuckling as Fenris flushed again.

"Yes, well, I agree with her about getting an early night," he said as he got to his feet. "Till morning."

Liam also stood, "I do want to get as early a start as possible, so good night."

Sebastian watched him walk away towards his tent which was right next to the prince's. He held his breath as the warrior hesitated in front of it, then sighed as Liam ducked into his own tent. "What is his problem?" he whispered.

"All is not well between the two of you my lord?" Reginald asked cautiously, not wanting to offend, but not liking to see his master upset either.

"I don't know," Sebastian looked at his trusted retainer. He considered Reginald a friend, despite their differences in status.

"Do you want to talk about it?" the knight pressed. "I know how much you want to be with him, and I think he wants you in the same way. But something seems to be holding him back."

"You're right, I just wish I knew for certain what it was," the prince sighed.

"What do you think it might be?"

"I fear that I pushed him to soon," the prince replied. "A few days ago, at that stream, we were somewhat intimate." He saw the knight's eyebrows go up. "We didn't have sex, but-"

"No, no, I was just surprised he would seek intimacy," the knight shook his head. "I kind of got the idea he wasn't quite over Anders yet."

"I think you're right," Sebastian sighed. "I probably shouldn't have done it, but I wanted him to see how much I wanted him and just how much he wanted me in return. But since then, he's pulled away from me and I'm not sure how to make up the ground lost."

"If it helps to know this, I've seen him looking at you with longing several times," the knight smiled at the prince's surprised look. "I think that you just need to give him his space. Let him make the next move."

"Then maybe I haven't lost any ground with him," he mused. "Thank you for listening to me and for your comforting words."

"I just want to see you happy my lord," the knight nodded and stood up. "Don't stay up too late."

Sebastian nodded and remained by the fire for a while longer. Finally, he put away his bow, banked the fire, and went to his tent. He hoped that Reginald was right and that he hadn't pushed Liam away. He didn't even want to think about life without the warrior. If he lost Liam again, he didn't think he could bear it. He fell into a restless sleep, not knowing that he would have his answer sooner than expected.

_Liam looked around, puzzled as to where he was. He seemed to be on a farm, but wherever it was, it was cold and windy. Off in the distance he could see tall, snow covered mountains. The place struck a chord of familiarity within him, though he would swear he'd never been there before._

_"This place seems familiar because I used to talk about it, a lot," a familiar voice came from behind him._

_Whirling, he stood frozen as a man who looked very much like Anders came towards him. "Who are you? Where am I?" he cried._

_"You are in the Fade," the man answered. "Do you truly not recognize me?"_

_Liam peered closely at him, "Anders?" Seeing the other nod, he shook his head. "You look so different."_

_"This is how I looked before I became a Grey Warden and merged with Justice," the mage said with a slight smile. "Here in the Fade, I can make myself look any way I choose. I definitely let myself go a little in Kirkwall."_

_Liam stared at him, taking note of how healthy and happy his lover looked. "Are you real?" he whispered._

_"In a way," he answered. "Mages are the only ones who can retain a sense of self in the Fade. When we die, we become spirits, just like regular people. But, unlike ordinary people, we can actually manifest ourselves in the Fade, because we've always had a connection with it. Others will only appear as a shadow of their former selves, a ghost if you will."_

_"You look..wonderful," Liam whispered, tears choking his voice. _

_"Please don't cry anymore," the mage hurried forward and placed his hands on the warrior's shoulders. "You've already shed enough tears over me. You need to let go and move on."_

_"I don't know how," he whispered._

_"Yes you do, you're just afraid to," Anders said softly. "You have a second chance with your first love. Sebastian is ready and willing to share his life and bed with you. I always knew that if he hadn't given you the cold shoulder that we would never have hooked up. I know I was second choice, but I also know that you truly loved me. I only wish I had been able to give you the love and attention you deserved."_

_"You gave me everything you could and it was more than enough," Liam protested. "Without you, I would have been alone in that big mansion those last years. I think I would have lost the will to go on if you hadn't been there. It was you and those mages you struggled for that gave my life purpose. Losing you the way I did almost killed me."_

_"I know, I was watching," Anders said sadly. "I wasn't allowed to interfere with your free will. You had to choose to go on, to live. I thanked the Maker that Sebastian came along when he did, for he did what I was forbidden to do."_

_"So how come you're allowed to interfere now?" he puzzled._

_"It is you who has called me here," Anders stepped back. _

_"But, I didn't," Liam cried, confused by the other man._

_"I had to come here because you won't let me go," he answered quietly. "By holding on to regret, by not moving forward with your life, you keep me tied to you. I can't move on because you won't move on."_

_"I didn't realize that," the warrior replied. He looked at the man he had loved so much. "I keep thinking that being with Sebastian is some kind of betrayal."_

_"Why?" Anders asked him. "We had several years together, years filled with as much joy and laughter as sadness and pain. You made me happier than any man or woman ever had before. My only regret is that I couldn't give you more, for you were deserving of it. Now you need to do what's best for you, what makes you happy. Seeking happiness for yourself now is not a betrayal of what we had, but a celebration of it. Loving Sebastian doesn't diminish the love we shared."_

_"But-"_

_"No buts," Anders interrupted gently. "I am dead, my love. Let me rest in peace."_

_Liam hesitated briefly and then nodded, tears rolling down his cheeks. "You will always have a place in my heart."_

_"I know," Anders smiled. "But there's room in your heart for Sebastian too." Anders turned and began to walk away, then stopped and looked back. "He's a good man Hawke. He will stay by your side through thick and thin. Accept his love, accept him in your life, and never look back." He turned and moved forward, but stopped when Liam called to him._

_"Where are you going to?" the warrior asked, moving closer. _

_Anders turned back, "To the Maker's kingdom of course. It's true you know, that he sees all, knows all that happens. He also forgives those who are truly sorry for their sins. It's also true that everything happens for a reason, including the bad things. At his side there is love and peace. But, if you don't let me go, I will never find my peace there," he admonished gently._

_Liam smiled through his tears, "Then this is goodbye." He watched as the man he had loved turned and disappeared. The landscape around him began to fade away..._

Liam opened his eyes and stared at the roof of his tent, making no attempt to wipe away his tears. Seeing Anders as he had been before Justice made his heart ache and made him wonder what it would have been like to know him back then. But, the knowledge that he was keeping Anders from finding peace shook him up. He hadn't truly believed that what the Chantry preached was true, that you go to be with the Maker when you died. That Anders had been accepted, despite what he'd done, gave him hope.

He sat up and got a whine for his trouble. Looking to his side, he saw Ripper watching him curiously. "I saw Anders again boy."

The dog whined and woofed softly.

"He told me to let him go and move on," Liam continued. "What I didn't realize is that by holding onto the past I was keeping him from moving on."

The mabari placed his head on his master's knee and whined again.

"I have to let him go," he said, swallowing back tears. "I think I can best do that by opening my heart to Sebastian."

The hound suddenly sat up and looked towards the opening of the tent, givin a soft woof as he did so.

"But, he's sleeping," Liam protested only to have the dog whine and nudge him with his nose. "Okay, okay, I'll go see him," he chuckled and got up, stooping to exit the tent. He heard Ripper settling himelf in the tent and shook his head. The dog was way too smart.

Outside of the prince's tent he hesitated before whispering, "Sebastian?"

Sebastian had tried to go to sleep, but his mind kept going back to that time by the stream. This had led to aches in his heart and another body part. As a result, he was awake when he heard his name whispered. "Hawke?" he sat up and pulled the tent flap back to find the warrior crouched in front.

"Did I wake you?" Liam asked softly.

"No, I couldn't sleep," he answered, moving aside to allow the other man to enter. He closed and secured the flap again before turning to Liam. A frown creased his brow as he took in the tear stained cheeks. "What's wrong Liam?"

"Everything, and nothing," the warrior answered. He wasn't sure where to begin or what he wanted to say. "I had a dream," he finally said, "and Anders was there."

Sebastian suppressed a sigh of annoyance. "I thought we'd already covered that subject thoroughly." After everything that had happened recently, he wasn't keen on talking about the dead lover. Again.

"This was different," Liam shook his head. "He came to give me a message. He told me it was time for me to move on, to let him go."

"And?" Sebastian encouraged, holding his breath and hoping this meant what he thought it did.

"He told me that he couldn't move on because I wouldn't let go of my memories of him," he looked down at his hands. "He told me that opening my heart to you wasn't betraying what he and I shared."

"Often in dreams we see things more clearly than in the cold light of day," Sebastian settled himself on his bedroll and pulled Liam down next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "The Chantry has books about hauntings and such. Most of them talk about how it is the fault of the living that the dead haunt them. It means there is some unresolved issue that needs to be dealt with."

"Anders looked so healthy and alive," Liam said softly. "He told me that mages had the ability to take solid form even after death, and that he chose to show me what he looked like before becoming a Grey Warden. To be honest, it scared me that a single wrong choice could change someone that much."

"Only the Maker knows the consequences of our actions before we take them," the prince preached.

"Anders said much the same thing," Liam nodded. "He also said that the Maker truly does forgive his children of their sins, regardless of what they are, if they are truly sorry for them."

"I've always believed that," Sebastian told him.

"Well, I didn't," the warrior frowned. "I can't remember the last time I even prayed to the Maker for anything. I never really bought into the Chantry's teachings."

"And why was that?"

Liam looked up at him, "I think it was because of the fact that my father and sister were both apostates and how the Chantry viewed them. The Chantry would have had me turn them in, treat them like less than other people, just because they had been born with magic. But my father was one of the kindest and most generous men I'd ever met, and my sister was the sweetest, happiest child one could know."

Sebastian frowned at that. He had always known that Hawke only paid lip service to the Chantry and it's rules, but he hadn't given much thought to the reasons behind it. "It seems that Anders may have been right about some things, like the Chantry and the Templars bringing trouble upon themselves."

"I never would have expected to hear you say something like that," Liam gasped in shock.

"I'm not as closed-minded as some think," the prince protested. "Even I could see how corrupt some of the Templars and the Knight-Commander had become. But I told myself that it was just an isolated problem, unique to Kirkwall. Perhaps it isn't as isolated a problem."

"When I was a kid, we moved around a lot to avoid the templars," Liam said quietly. "I think it would shock you just how many people looked the other way, refused to turn us in, or simply warned us when to flee to avoid capture. Many of them disagreed with the more hardline stance the Chantry was taking."

"The more they tightened their grip, the more that slipped through their fingers," Sebastian nodded.

"Tyranny comes in many forms," Liam said quietly.

A long silence fell as they each looked for something else to say. Finally, Sebastian cleared his throat, "So, did you come here just to talk about your dream?"

Liam took a deep breath and then reached out and took the prince's hand in his own. "Anders made me realize that I was a fool to hold on to the past. I've been pushing you away. You made me happy and that made me feel guilty, which I shouldn't be feeling."

"Does this mean what I think it means?" Sebastian asked, hardly daring to hope.

"It means that I'm done living in the past," Liam smiled. "I'm ready to see where things go between us." He leaned forward and gently kissed the prince. As he pulled away, a strong hand wrapped around the back of his neck and held him in place.

"I love you Liam," Sebastian held his gaze firmly. "I will never willingly leave your side." He then proceeded to kiss him. This was not a gently kiss, but a fierce and demanding one, and it lit the flame of desire in the warrior.

Finally, Liam pulled back gasping, "Air!" Seeing that the prince seemed to be out of breath as well, he chuckled. "If that was a preview of things to come, I think my nights are going to get very interesting."

"But not tonight," Sebastian said gently. Seeing the confused look he explained. "You've been on a roller coaster ride of emotion. I think the best thing is for us to just hold each other tonight. We have our whole lives ahead of us to enjoy more intimacies."

"You sound so sure of that," Liam marvelled as the prince helped him settle into the bedroll.

Spooning behind the warrior, he replied, "However long or short our lives, we will share the journey together. I lost you once. Now that I have you back, I'm not letting go. Ever." He closed his arms tight around the other man.

Liam simply smiled and closed his eyes, feeling safe and secure for the first time in a long, long, while.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The soldiers standing on the walls of Redcliffe Castle watched apprehensively as the heavily armed party neared the gates. Hearing heavy footsteps and clanking armor behind him, the captain turned to face the knight he'd sent for. "Ser Perth, strangers approach. They're armed," he stated the bare facts.

The knight looked at them for a moment before shouting out orders. "Raise the drawbridge and lower the portcullis." He knew from personal experience just how effective a handful of well trained and equipped fighters could be. Those who approached may not be Grey Wardens, but they were not to be taken lightly all the same.

Sebastian came to a stop and motioned Reginald forward. "They have raised their defenses. Let's wait here until we are announced."

"Why would they be on the defensive?" Merrill puzzled. "We haven't threatened them."

"We're a well armed party," Liam smiled at her. "I imagine we look pretty scary."

"They are wise to be cautious," Fenris nodded. "Though we are a small group, we are highly effecient and very dangerous. We could easily overcome the small force on the walls."

"You could do that all by yourself Fenris," Liam snickered.

"Well, I don't like to brag," the elf shrugged, earning scoffs from the others.

"Hold strangers," Ser Perth's voice rang out. "State your names and your purpose in coming here."

Ser Reginald stood at attention and cleared his throat. "His Royal Highness, Sebastian Vale, Prince of Starkhaven, and Serrah Liam Hawke, Lord Amell and Champion of Kirkwall seek accomodation from the honorable Arl of Redcliff."

Excited talk broke out amongst the men on the parapets. Ser Perth himself could barely contain his astonishment himself. He whirled to the captain, "You! Go and tell the Arl who we have at the gates and tell him his presence is requested. Move it!"

"Shall we allow them entry Ser?" another soldier asked.

"We must," Ser Perth nodded. "One does not leave royalty cooling their heels, even if they're armed."

Sebastian could see the shock and excitement his presence caused and smiled slightly as he saw the drawbridge come down and the portcullis go up. "See? Despite being heavily armed, my title practically guarantees my entry. At least in civilized lands."

"Sorry I doubted you," Liam rolled his eyes. "Look, they're signaling us to come inside." He moved forward, his long strides quickly bringing him even with and then past Reginald. Sebastian was able to keep stride with him, but just barely.

"I don't want to be out of breath and sweating when I meet the Arl," he hissed.

"Sorry," Liam said sheepishly and shortened his stride. "I don't know why I feel I need to hurry. It's not like we're on any kind of time table or have enemies dogging our heels."

"Maybe you just can't wait to get me alone in a room and have your wicked way with me, or I with you," Sebastian growled. He chuckled when Liam's face turned red and he stumbled a bit.

"Will you stop it?" Liam hissed, looking around to see if anyone was paying attention.

"You love it," the prince smiled at him. He had been making little comments like that all day. Even though Liam blushed and protested, the prince could tell that it made the warrior happy to be recieving such attention.

Liam gave him a shy smile and then turned his attention to the small group of well dressed men and women coming out of the castle. He recognized the man leading them as the uncle of King Alistair, whom he'd met years ago in Kirkwall. The man had been quite cordial then, but that was before the destruction of the Chantry. His heart nearly stopped with the first words out of the man's mouth.

"Greetings your Highness, Champion," he bowed slightly. "I am Arl Teagan. Is the apostate Anders with you?"

"Why?" Liam growled, his hands clenching into fists.

"The people of Ferelden are divided in their feelings about what he did," he answered. "There have been threats. Therefore, word was sent to Weisshaupt and they ordered that Anders be taken into custody and escorted to them in the Anderfels. He is still a Grey Warden and thus his punishment lies with them."

"He's dead," Liam said flatly.

"What? How?"

Seeing the pain in the warrior's eyes, Sebastian stepped slightly in front of him. "It is a long story, and not easy to tell. We are tired, dirty, and hungry," his tone held a note of censure.

"Forgive my poor manners," Teagan flushed slightly. He turned to the young woman at his side. "Allow me to introduce my wife, Kaitlyn."

"A pleasure to meet you," she curtsied. "I have servants readying rooms for you as we speak."

"We only need two rooms," Sebastian told the Arl. "One for myself, Liam and my man Reginald. A second for Fenris and Merrill."

Teagan glanced between the two men and read between the lines. "Certainly, if that is your wish." He turned and waited for Sebastian to walk beside him and then entered the keep.

Kaitlyn found herself next to Liam and felt a little unnerved. She had heard stories about him, but they hadn't prepared her for the reality. She felt like a child next to him and the armor he wore made him look more fierce than a Chasind. She cleared her throat, "I must rethink the supper plans, Ser Hawke. I know you were born and raised here in Ferelden. Is there anything in particular you would like to request?"

Hearing the slight note of nervousness in her voice, Liam dredged up a smile and looked down. "I haven't had a decent meat pie for a while. They also didn't have apple trees in Kirkwall. Apples were imported and hard to come by and very expensive."

"I shall tell the cooks this," she smiled at him. After seeing how he reacted to the name, she was hesitant to ask about Anders, but decided to take a chance. "I'm sure you're aware of this, but just in case," she paused briefly, then continued. "The lives of mages have changed greatly in the years since the Hero of Ferelden saved us all by killing the Archdemon. Mages are allowed a choice between living and working at the Circle or finding employment elsewhere. The only requirement is that they make weekly visits to the local chantry. This is to make sure that they are not dabbling in forbidden magics. Many of them applaud what Anders did in Kirkwall, for word of the atrocities commited in the Circle there have spread far and wide across Ferelden."

"Why are you telling me this?" Liam said stiffly.

"Because we ourselves have two mages in residence here," she replied. "One of them is originally from Kirkwall. Anders helped her escape the Gallows and book passage on a ship heading to Ferelden. This was about four years ago. She might want to talk to you about Anders, but if it's too difficult, I will of course see to it that she doesn't."

Sebastian overheard and looked back at Liam. "If we go to the Circle, no doubt the subject of Anders will come up again."

"Meaning I'll have to get used to it and should get some practice," Liam muttered. He sighed and nodded, "If she wishes, I'll be happy to answer any of her questions, but not tonight."

"Of course not tonight," Kaitlyn agreed. She realized they had come to the west wing of the castle. "Here we are, the West wing. This is where guests stay. The family quarters are in the East wing."

Teagan gestured to an open door halfway down the hall where servants were exiting. "Your room, Your Highness. Please, make yourselves at home. If there is anything you need just inform the servants and they will take care of it."

Kaitlyn gestured to Fenris and Merrill to follow her and led them to a slightly smaller room a little further down on the opposite side. "This is your room, I hope it satisfies."

Fenris looked around and nodded, hiding his astonishment at the luxury facing him. Merrill, however, was not so discreet. "By the Creators, I've never seen such luxuries."

Sebastian chuckled, "You've been to Hawke's estate many times. You've seen such there."

"Well, yes, but I never stayed the night there," the girl shook her head.

"We'll leave you to get settled then," Teagan bowed to them and, ushering his wife and the servants before him, left his guests to their own devices. There would be plenty of time to talk during dinner.

Liam stepped into the room provided and looked around. He was standing in a small sitting room. There were two doors that led to two rooms, one with a single bed, obviously meant for a body servant, and the other much larger with a private bathing chamber off it. He followed Sebastian into the larger one.

"This is quite luxurious, something I've not experienced in many years," Sebastian's shrewd eyes took in the understated elegance of the room. "I suspect this room is the one used by the king when he comes to visit."

"Well, you are royalty," Liam pointed out, shuffling his feet nervously.

"Relax, I'm not going to jump you right this moment," Sebastian smiled at him and then chuckled as the warrior flushed. "I never thought it would be this easy to fluster you."

Liam scowled at him, "I'm not flustered." Seeing the prince's eyes roll, he muttered. "So, maybe I am. A little." He turned to the bags they'd brought inside with them and started rummaging through them.

"What are you looking for?"

"We're going to be dining with the Arl tonight," Liam answered. "I don't think armor will suit." He sighed and stepped back, "I have nothing in my pack that will do." They were interrupted by a knock on the outer door.

Reginald had just finished settling in himself and went to answer it, only to see Merrill on the other side holding a bundle of clothing. Before he could say anything, she pushed her way in, talking at a very fast pace. "I just opened my packs and saw this stuff, and I knew it wasn't mine, but didn't really know whose it was. So I pulled it out and saw how big it was and figured it was Hawke's."

"Whoa lass, slow down," Sebastian held up his hands. "What are you talking about?"

"These fancy clothes," Merrill held out the bundle. "They were in one of my packs. I didn't put them there, it must have been Bethany." Seeing their puzzled faces she sighed. "They're fancy things you must have brought with you from Kirkwall Hawke. Fenris said you'd need them tonight and I was going to wash them but he said I should have a servant do it, but I didn't feel comfortable asking one of them-"

"I'll take care of it Merrill," Liam interrupted and took the clothes from her.

"Well, it's a good thing you have those because I seriously doubt the castle stores would have anything in your size," Sebastian pointed out. "In case you haven't notice, you're bigger than most men."

"Gee, where would I be without you to point out the obvious," Liam rolled his eyes.

"Well, Fenris and I are going to visit the gardens out back," Merrill said. "See you at supper," she called out as she left their room.

"I'll go check on the wagon and horses, my lord," Reginald bowed briefly before taking his leave.

Sebastian turned to Liam as soon as the door closed, a wicked gleam in his eyes. "Well, we have the room to ourselves and it will be hours before supper."

"Uhm, well, I should find a servant..to take the clothes..to clean them and I-" Liam began to stutter.

Sebastian didn't bother with words, merely stepped forward, gripped Hawke by the back of his neck and drew him into a deep, heated kiss. He prolonged it for as long as he could before finally coming up for air. "All I was going to suggest was that we relax and enjoy each other's company."

"It's not that I don't want to, Maker knows I want to, it's just-" Liam struggled to explain.

"You're not sure how far you can actually go," the prince smiled gently.

"I don't want you to be disappointed," he whispered.

"You could never disappoint me Liam," Sebastian told him firmly. "Whatever we do, we'll do it because it feels right for both of us." He took the bundle of clothes and went out into the hall looking for a servant.

Liam sat on the edge of the bed to wait for him to return. He looked around at the room, at the elegance of the drapes, the richness of the wood furniture and it reminded him of his estate in Kirkwall. Even though he'd originally bought it for his mom, he came to enjoy the status that went with living in Hightown. The nice clothes, the dinner parties, the social gatherings. Then his mother died and he'd saved the city and been declared Champion and everything started to change.

"Copper for your thoughts?" Sebastian asked softly, concern lacing his voice as he saw how sad Liam looked.

"Just thinking about all that I had in Kirkwall," the warrior sighed. "Would it surprise you to know that I felt like I truly belonged amongst the wealthy and powerful? Like it was my destiny?"

"Not really," the prince sat beside him. "I knew from the moment I met you that you were destined for greatness. And even though what Anders did cast a cloud over everything, you still did great things for Kirkwall. In fact, there would have been no Chantry for Anders to destroy if not for you. If the Arishok had succeeded in taking Kirkwall, we all would have been converted to the Qun or executed."

"For a long time I felt like a failure," Liam stared at his hands. "It was hard to reminder my successes."

"I've said it before and I'm going to repeat it as often as needed," the prince said firmly. "It was us, myself and Anders and your friends and family, that failed you. We rode your coat tails to the top, happy to share in your glory but unwilling to share your burden. And when it came crumbling down, we left you to pick up the pieces. A lesser man would have broken long ago."

Liam looked up at him and smiled, "Keep telling me that and someday I might actually believe it."

"I will," Sebastian promised. "Now, tonight's dinner is probably going to run late. Such events usually do. I suggest we take off our boots and lie back on this very comfortable bed and get some rest."

Supper that night was a boisterous, rambunctious affair. It started off with a scuffle between Ripper and the other mabari hounds in the hall. They were deciding who was top dog, no pun intended. After settling that, the hounds had settled on the hearth with Ripper taking center stage. Those sitting at the table kept the conversation light, with the humor running more toward the crude than the refined. Liam hadn't felt this at ease since fleeing Lothering during the Blight. He glanced down the table set to the left, to the end where Fenris and Merrill had been placed amongst the knights of the castle and their ladies. Fenris was his usual stoic self, probably because Merrill was talking enough for both of them. He turned his attention back to what Teagan was saying.

Sebastian sat to the right of the Arl and Hawke sat to the Arl's left. The Arl and Liam were having an animated conversation about different battlefield strategies, waving beef and chicken legs around, watched closely by their hounds. He found himself smiling at seeing Liam so relaxed and happy. The only really bad thing about the evening was the fact that he had two minor orlesian noble women sitting to his right. They were relatives of the former Arlessa, Isolde, who had fallen ill and passed away recently. The two just couldn't hide their disdain for the lack of manners or etiquette on display. And their sniping was starting to get to him. The Chantry had long ago broken him of judging people in such a manner. He realized he hadn't heard anything they were saying for some time and reluctantly turned his attention back to them. He had been raised to be polite after all.

"We intended to leave after the funeral," the one named Giselle was speaking. "However, with the approaching war, we were informed it was not safe."

Her accent was thick enough to make understanding her difficult. Sebastian nodded politely and then turned his attention to the other woman named Lynette de Chenelle, a minor noble and first cousin to Isolde, who was also trying to hold his attention. "You were saying?" he asked politely.

"Oh, I was just saying that if it were not for your presence, I would have passed on this so called dinner party," she sniffed. Lowering her voice she leant towards him. "Dogs at your feet, the men and some of the women eating with their hands. Awful. You are truly a gentleman to tolerate this."

"Agreed dear," Giselle nodded. "If I hadn't been told the man sitting on the other side of the Arl was the Champion of Kirkwall, I would have pegged him as one of those barbarians."

"Are you sure he is the Champion?" Lynette was skeptical. "I thought the man was a noble. This man's manners could use some work."

"You waste your breath dear," Giselle snorted. "They're like this all the time. How Isolde could stand living amongst them I'll never understand."

"She married the Arl because she was infatuated with him," Lynette pointed out. "Besides, what other prospects did she have?"

"I was under the impression that theirs was a love match," Sebastian commented, biting his tongue and trying to ignore the slurs the two were throwing out.

"Oh, maybe she did in the beginning, but the whole business with her son being a mage turned it sour," Lynette told him. "She may have loved Eamon, but she loved her status as Arlessa more."

"And then that mage turned up and ruined everything," Giselle said sourly. "Losing her son to the Circle, how shameful."

Seeing the puzzlement on Sebastian's face, Lynette told him the tale as it had been relayed to her by Isolde. How she'd tried to hide her son's magic and the events leading up to the poisoning of the Arl. "Poor Isolde, she only wanted to protect her husband and child. But the Arl was so furious over her deception that he almost set her aside."

"He would have too, if not for the fact that with Connor given to the Circle he had no heir," Giselle interjected.

"Since Eamon's brother is now the Arl, I'm assuming they had no other children," Sebastian stated.

"Au Contraire, they had a daughter," Giselle shook her head. "The birth was hard and Isolde was a long time recovering. Then it turns out the poor child was cursed with magic as well and so was sent to the Circle same as the boy. Isolde was never the same and withdrew to her own private rooms."

"By this time, the Arl was too old to find another wife and his health was beginning to fail," Lynette finished.

Looking around, Sebastian caught Liam's eye and cocked his head. Most of the guests had finished eating and half looked to be well into their cups. Getting a slight nod from him, Sebastian excused himself from the Ladies and stood up, his actions halting conversation around the tables. "Lord Teagan, this was a fine dinner, with fine company and conversation, but I am still a little travel weary and would prefer to retire to my room."

"As you wish your highness," Teagan stood as did his wife and the other guests. "I wish you a restful and peaceful sleep."

They paused to say good night to their other companions before continuing on to their room. Liam could tell from Sebastian's expression that he was upset. "You look like you ate something that didn't agree with you."

"I had to spend the entire dinner listening politely to those two orlesian women," Sebastian rolled his eyes. "They do try one's patience with their condescension and arrogance. A person's worth is not based on whether they use a fork to eat their dinner." A low woof indicated Ripper had followed them and was in agreement.

"I'm surprised they ate with us at all," Liam snickered. "Orlesians think we're little better than the Chasind with our dogs and 'barbaric' ways. Must have been because you were there."

"Yes, well, I hope that Teagan doesn't want to host another party such as that," Sebastian shook his head as they entered their room.

"Sounds like you could use some stress relief," Liam said softly, rubbing the prince's shoulders. He bent down and whispered in Sebastian's ear, "I'd be happy to help with that."

The prince shivered and felt his breath grow short at all the implications. "If you'd like to offer your services, I certainly won't object," he replied.

Liam nudged him towards their bedroom and signalled Ripper to stay, tossing a leg bone to the floor in front of the hearth. The hound settled down happily. Going into the bedroom, he closed and locked the door behind him.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

When Liam told him that a nice back rub was just the thing he needed to relax, Sebastian was not only skeptical, but a little disappointed as well. He'd had other things in mind for relaxation. But, seeing as how it was the first time the warrior had initiated anything of an intimate nature, he'd hidden both behind a smile. He stripped down to his smalls and lay face down on the bed as asked. Liam had stripped to his smalls as well and having the nearly naked warrior standing over him was quite an arousing image and satisfied his urge for intimacy for the moment.

After five minutes of having his back rubbed, Sebastian had completely revised his opinion. It wasn't just that he had the warrior's strong hands on his body, but also that it felt really, really good. He could actually feel tense muscles loosening. He couldn't keep from moaning at times, it felt so good. "Maker's breath Hawke," he groaned out. "Where did you learn to do this?"

Liam's hands faltered slightly at the question. "From Anders," he choked out. Clearing his throat, he elaborated. "One of the things those gifted with healing power had to learn was how the human body worked. In order to properly heal broken bones or torn ligaments and muscles, he had to know how they all interconnected. He showed me how massaging certain muscles in certain ways eased pressure on nerves and tendons thus leading to relaxation of those parts of the body."

"Very useful knowledge," Sebastian said quietly. He knew how much it still hurt Liam to talk about the mage. "It's too bad that spirit of his couldn't let him be to focus on healing those who needed it."

"Yes, well, we can't change the past," Liam said.

Sebastian sat up and turned to look at him, "No we can't. All we can do is work to make the future better. I know that Anders did a lot of good. But his error in allowing the spirit to possess him is what ultimately led to his downfall. That is why we have the Circles and the Chantry and Templars. They are there to protect mages from themselves as well as watch for corruption. Anders could never see that because he was so focused on all that was wrong with the Chantry. He never stopped to see all that was good."

"Let's not talk about this tonight," Liam looked away. "Please."

Sebastian took a deep breath, "I'm sorry. Politics and religion make poor bedfellows." He moved over on the bed and motioned to the warrior to join him. After Liam had done so, he wrapped his arms around him and held him tightly. "Thank you for the wonderful back rub. I hadn't realized how tense I really was after dinner."

"What exactly did they say that upset you so much?" Liam asked softly.

"It wasn't so much what they said, but how they said it," the prince told him. "I've spent more than half my life in the Chantry, so things like protocol and etiquette weren't something I've had to deal with. Yet those biddies assumed because of my title that I would be like them."

"Too many people judge others by their appearance and seldom look below the surface to see the person they truly are," the warrior sighed and then yawned. "I think I had a little too much wine."

"It is late and we should get some sleep," the prince smiled down at him. "We can talk about all this tomorrow."

"Sounds good," Liam mumbled, his eyes already closing.

Sebastian lay awake for some time thinking about what Liam had said. It was true, he realized. He had looked at many things through the lens of the Chantry's teachings. It had shaped his opinions more than he'd realized. It took the loss of Elthina and his subsequent dealings with Hawke to make him realize that in his own way he'd been just as blind and stubborn as Anders. Meredith and Orsino had also been blind to everything except their own viewpoints. As a result, rules were broken and innocent people suffered. It was people like Hawke and King Alistair who were the true leaders. They were the ones who were actually doing something to make things better.

He sighed and settled deeper under the covers, smiling as Liam shifted with him to snuggle against his side. He couldn't believe it had taken him so long to reach this point. Now that he had, he was determined to do all within his power to hold on to what he and Liam had. He would allow nothing, not even the impending war with Orlais, to keep them apart. With that last thought, he closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

It was the sound of a door closing nearby that woke him the next morning. He heard Reginald talking with someone and figured it must be Fenris or Merrill. He was in no hurry to leave the warmth of the bed or the man in it, so he ignored them. He propped himself up on one elbow and studied the man next to him. Liam was quite literally a mountain of a man. He stood almost half a foot taller than his own six feet and was solid muscle from head to toes. The man's arms were as big around as most men's legs, and his legs were like tree trunks. Liam's hands were big and heavily calloused from years of fighting. In short, he was a giant amongst men and the prince had to wonder if there was Chasind blood in the Hawke family line.

Yet, he had the most gentle touch. He had felt the strength in those hands during the back rub he received, but not once had he felt like he would be hurt. Liam knew his own strength and how to hold back so he didn't actually hurt anyone. Sebastian smiled as he looked down on the warrior. Liam looked so much younger when he was sleeping, the lines of care and worry almost completely gone. Now, if he could only make that a reality when the warrior was awake, life would be just about perfect.

Not wanting to disturb him, Sebastian quietly got out of bed and dressed for the day. Just as quietly, he left the bedroom, closing the door softly behind him. Looking around the sitting room, he saw that Reginald had apparently left. His stomach chose that moment to growl and so he left their suite and headed downstairs in search of the kitchen. The smell of freshly baked bread pointed him in the right direction. When he reached there, he was surprised to see the Arl sitting at the table with his wife and a woman dressed in robes who looked somewhat familiar, though he could swear he'd never met her.

"Ah, your highness, you've come to join us for breakfast?" Kaitlyn stood up when he entered. Her companions also stood to greet him.

"Please, sit, no need to be so formal," Sebastian waived at them.

"Another mouth to feed!" the heavy set cook came bustling forward. "I was beginning to think my hard work would go to naught this morning. It's not like I have nothing better to do than wait for guests to straggle in for breakfast," she grumped.

"Sorry Martha," the young woman in robes smiled at her.

"Pay her no mind Lena, she likes to pretend it puts her out when in truth she enjoys feeding people," Teagan laughed.

"You are Lena Amell, the First Enchanter?" Sebastian looked closely at her. "You look a lot like Liam, but you're younger than I expected."

"Age does not equate with ability," Lena smiled at him. "Though the youngest of the senior enchanters in Ferelden, I am the most powerful. You've heard of me?"

"From Drevan," Sebastian said as he speared a mouthful of egg and sausage onto his fork.

"Hmmm, okay second most powerful," Lena amended. Seeing the surprised look the prince sent her, she grinned. "Very few master being both a Spirit Healer and Arcane Warrior. They are considered to be the two most powerful, yet most difficult, disciplines. I myself am a master of Entropy and Primal magics."

"The standing joke is that she terrified the others so much that they didn't argue with her appointment," Teagan chuckled. He laughed even harder when she swatted at him.

"That's not true," Lena laughed. "Actually, it takes more than magical power to make a good First Enchanter. You have to be adept at negotiation and that's something I have particular skill at. Diplomacy is not something that mages are good at as a general rule."

"Lena is here because she wants to meet and talk with her cousin," Kaitlyn said to the prince.

"Liam and I planned to visit the Circle in a couple of days," Sebastian informed them. "Apparently word of our presence has spread to the surrounding area."

"I sent word yesterday afternoon that you had arrived at the castle," Teagan said apologetically.

"The Circle is only a few hours boat ride across the lake," Lena told them. "I left in the wee hours so that I could be here to talk to my cousin first thing."

"And why are you so eager to talk to him?" Sebastian asked suspiciously. "You've never spoken to each other before, despite the fact that you're family AND you lived only a week or so from each other."

"I knew Anders as a teenager, and knew that he could be careless at times," Lena said firmly. "And I know that my cousin was deeply involved with him in Kirkwall, yet I don't know how much of Anders' lack of control has influenced him. Despite the odds, we have finally managed to establish a system that is fair and works for both mages and templars. I am not about to let anyone come in and upset the status quo. I want to hear from him what he intends when he visits Kinloch Hold. I also wish to establish some ground rules for that visit. And if you or him or anyone else doesn't like it, then I will forbid entry."

Silence reigned at the table for a long while. Sebastian understood then why she had been named First Enchanter. She was a formidable and fierce woman. He finally cleared his throat, "Well, I can certainly see things from your point of view. It was not so long ago that I would have been just as suspicious of Liam's intentions."

"Teagan has told me a little of what brought you here," Lena said. "He also indicated that it would not be wise to speak of these things with Liam."

"Liam was devestated by Anders' passing, blamed himself for not doing more to prevent it," Sebastain shook his head. "It is only recently that he has started to put it behind him and move on with his life. The wounds have closed but not fully healed yet."

"Then perhaps you would care to fill me in on the details while we eat, starting with what really happened the day the Chantry was destroyed," Lena's tone made the statement more of a command than a suggestion, and he took it as such.

He began by describing the horror and pain of witnessing the Chantry exploding and his vow to seek vengeance. Then he told of hunting Anders down and finding Hawke in the Brecilian Forest. The others stayed silent, with only Lena asking for a little more detail a couple of times. They had finished breakfast and the plates were cleared away by the time he finished.

Lena sighed and shook her head, "I never would have expected Anders to go this far. Oh, he was a stubborn fool at times, and definitely made a mockery of Chantry law that stuck in the craw of its leaders. But, to kill so many people?"

"I believe that it was the spirit, corrupted by the hatred in its host, that was the chief instigator in all of it," Sebastian argued. "A few weeks ago, I would have been of completely different opinion. However, Liam has opened my eyes to many things."

"We know so little of the Fade, especially of the good spirits that inhabit it," Lena mused. "All we have to go on when we teach the young ones about the dangers of the Fade are Chantry doctrine. To those such as Anders who resent the restrictions imposed on them, it is hard to get them to accept said doctrine as truth. Especially when all it talks about is the demons."

"Actually, Chantry doctrine does include sermons and lessons on the good spirits of the Fade," Sebastian corrected her. "It is the failing of the Circle and the Chantry that such lessons are not taught."

"That is a loaded accutsation!" Lena bristled.

"I asked First Enchanter Orsino about them and he had no clue what I was talking about," the prince snapped. "Orsino was three times your age and if he didn't know about it, I doubt that the other Circles did. The only explanation was that long ago, someone decided to keep this knowledge from the Circles. It would then follow that any mages who did know about it would be ordered to keep silent on the subject or suffer the consequences. Thus making both parties guilty."

"Anders knew about them and it only increased his disdain for the Chantry and its Circle puppets."

They looked up to see Liam standing in the doorway. "Liam I-" Sebastian jumped to his feet.

"Sit, sit," the warrior said as he took a chair next to the prince. He smiled as Martha bustled over with a plate of food which she set before him. "This looks fantastic," he beamed up at her.

"My but aren't you a big boy," Martha ogled him. "Methinks I should scramble another dozen eggs and fry up a few more sausages."

"And another loaf of this delicious bread too," Liam told her around a mouthful of food, causing her to cackle in delight.

"She loves having someone to feed," Teagan chuckled. "I get the feeling that I disappoint her with how little I tend to eat in the morning."

"You know that if you eat too much in the morning that you'll end up getting sleepy by mid day dear," Kaithlyn soothed him. "She knows and understands this."

"I remember when we had Riordan, Drevan and Alistair all here at the same time during preparations for the march on Denerim," he smiled in rememberance. "Was she ever pleased to have not one, but three Grey Wardens to feed. She could barely cook enough to satisfy them and was she ever happy about that."

"Not to mention the Dwarven generals," Kaitlyn giggled. "They could pack away the food too."

Sebastian cleared his throat, stopping the banter. He turned to Liam, "You were saying something about Anders?"

"When Anders first met Justice, he thought that it was one of those rare occurrences," Liam said in between huge mouthfuls of food. "He and Justice talked a lot about the Circle, the Fade, and the Chantry's views on both. After they merged, Anders became scared and looked everywhere for a way to undo it. It was during this time that he came upon an old book in the Starkhaven Chantry's library. It was filled with details on good spirits, spirit healers, and the benefits of dealing with them as well as known dangers."

"You're saying the Chantry actually has books about the subject?" Lena was shocked.

"I told you that already," Sebastian said. "The library in the Kirkwall Chantry had some documents about it. Although I never did find a book on the subject, I assumed there had to be something containing more detail elsewhere. Chantry scholars are notorius for ferreting out all the details of a subject they intend to commit to paper."

"Does it really surprise you Sebastian? Or you Lena?" Liam suddenly asked them. "The Chantry rules through fear. They instill fear of mages in the people and fear of the Fade in the mages. When people fear something, they are less likely to question certain deeds or actions."

"This was not the intent of the Chantry when it was established by Andraste," Sebastian said hotly.

"No, but it's what the Chantry has become," Liam said softly. "Power corrupts and the Chantry, with the backing of the Divine in Orlais, has grown corrupt. Over the centuries, the teachings of Andraste and Shartan and the principles the Chantry was founded on have become obscured, erased, or otherwise perverted. All in the name of power."

"But, they only hold sway over the Circles," Teagan protested.

"Isn't that enough?" Liam asked.

"He has a point," Lena grudgingly admitted. "Mages are feared for a reason. A handful of mages can wreak more havoc and devastation than the entire army of Ferelden."

"The Qunari collar and bind their mages so they can use their power against their enemies," Liam stated. "I have seen first hand just how dangerous a single Saarebas can be. Imagine an army of them."

"But they can also do great good," Sebastian said softly. "I saw Anders perform what I would call miracles. He saved many people with his magic who would have died otherwise, including children."

"Magic is a tool, nothing more," Lena shook her head. "And like any other tool, it requires training and knowledge to use it wisely and safely. How can we teach the young if we don't have all the information we need? I would be very eager to see these writings that talk about the Fade and its spirits in greater detail."

"Merrill has them in her bags," Liam shocked them with that bit of information.

"Why does she have them?" Sebastian asked. "She's always disdained what she called our ignorance of the true nature of the Fade."

"The Dalish value all knowledge, no matter it's form," Merrill said, having arrived in time to hear the tail end of the conversation. "Keeper Marethari and I had several heated arguments about such things," she said as she sank down at the table."

"Want some? It's really good," Liam held up his forkful of egg.

"Fenris and I ate early this morning before our walk of the castle grounds," she shook her head. "I wanted to embrace all knowledge, even the dangerous kind and she didn't."

"It is the pursuit of knowledge that has led many a mage to stray," Lena shook her head.

"At any rate, when we fled Kirkwall, Anders wasn't exactly thinking very clearly anymore," Merrill continued. "He ended up leaving a lot of stuff behind, including books. I noticed he had several old ones and packed them in my things. I like to read, so on the long boat ride to Amaranthine I spent several hours reading through them. Very fascinating."

"Even more so seeing as how the Chantry chose to hide this information from the Circles," Liam nodded.

"I would like the opportunity to copy those texts," Lena told them. "I firmly believe that the more we know, the better we can defend ourselves and resist temptation. Perhaps if Anders fully understood the dangers, he would not have merged with Justice and we would not have all the problems we do now."

"Who are you kidding?" Liam snorted. "These probelems, as you call them, were coming. Anders actions just pushed up the time table a little. There's only so long you can oppress a people before they rebel. Isn't that how Ferelden regained their independance? Isn't that how Andraste overthrew the Tevinter magisters?"

"He's right," Sebastian agreed. "As hard as it is for me to believe ill of the Chantry I served so faithfully for so long, actions on the part of certain of its members would have eventually led us to this point."

"That's why I want to go to the Circle," Liam said. "So that I can see the changes King Alistair was wise enough to implement. So I can see that Anders' dying wish is indeed coming true."

"And his dying wish was?" Teagan asked.

"To know that mages and templars could work together for the common good," Liam answered softly. "That ordinary people could see that mages were not mysterious beings to be feared, but were just regular people with special talents."

"In that case, I would be more than happy to have you visit," Lena smiled at him. "However, I will ask that you do not talk with anyone about what happened in Kirkwall. Not everyone at Kinloch Hold were happy about it, including some of the senior enchanters. There's no sense in stirring up trouble."

"Agreed," Liam nodded. "Besides, I'm actually getting tired of the subject myself. It's hard to move on when the past keeps popping up to haunt you." He glanced at Sebastian.

"And I say we're making good progress in that regard," the prince said softly, laying his hand on Liam's arm and giving it a squeeze.

"Well, now that my purpose in coming here has been fulfilled, I will head back to the Circle," Lena stood up.

"Already? But you just got here," Kaitlyn protested. "You must be tired."

"Unfortunately, there are several meetings I must arrange over the next couple of days," Lena sighed. "I need to make sure that the enchanters, apprentices, templars and other Chantry personal living and working there know the rules for your visit. Keeping the peace is not as easy as it looks."

"Well, if you must go, I shall see to it that the boat and your escort are ready," Teagan stood up and headed out.

"I look forward to showing you the changes we've made in Kinloch Hold cousin," Lena nodded at him. "And Merrill, I would very much like to see these writings you have. It would be good if we could have copies of anything Dalish that you have. I truly believe that peace amongst the races begins with understanding them."

"I guess I could let you see them," Merrill stuttered. "Nobody's ever been interested before."

Lena nodded and then left, accompanied by Kaitlyn. Liam watched her go and then turned to Merrill. "By the way, where's Fenris?"

"Oh, he was fascinated by the stables and kennels," the little Dalish shook her head as if this was a great mystery. "I felt sorry for those poor animals all couped up like that."

"They get let out often enough that you needn't be," Sebastian chuckled. "And they get more pampering than their counterparts in the wild. Especially when the weather is bad."

"I guess, but I still feel sorry for them," she shrugged. "Oh, Fenris has suggested that you get some sparring in and that you also practice your riding while you're here. He said he was going to make some arrangements and asked for you to meet him at the stables after breakfast."

Liam made a face and then looked around the kitchen. "I guess I've finished," he said as he realized he'd eaten everything the cook had made.

"Don't look so sour," Sebastian laughed. "I think it's an excellent idea and besides, you don't want to stay in the room all day." He saw a slight flush color the warrior's cheeks. "Or maybe you do," he said with a smirk, garnering a surprised 'Oh' from Merrill followed by a stifled giggle.

Liam stood up and huffed, "I'll see you at the stables." He stormed off, Sebastian's soft laughter following him.

"That man is so easy to tease," the prince said as he stood up to follow.

Not having anything to do at the moment, and not wanting to intrude where she might not be wanted by wandering around the inner castle, Merrill decided to follow them.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

"He's magnificent," Sebastian said as he stared at the chestnut colored gelding.

"He's huge!" Liam gasped.

The prince chuckled, "Well, you're a big man Hawke. I'd say he's the perfect size horse for you."

"I don't see why we need another horse," Liam shook his head. "The one I've been riding is fine." He still couldn't believe he'd let himself be talked into coming out here.

Before he had become the Arl of Redcliff, Teagan had been the Bann of Rainesfere, a title he still held in trust for his first born child. Within his holdings there, he owned the second largest horse farm in Ferelden, the royal stables in Denerim being the largest. He had suggested that it would be wise for Liam to get a horse suitable for use in the coming war with Orlais. Seeing what was meant by suitable made the warrior very uneasy. The idea of riding such a large animal was daunting, nevermind riding it into battle.

"You weren't riding him in full armor, Serrah Hawke," Ser Perth's voice broke into his thoughts. He turned their attention back to the horse in the corral. "This breed is not native to Ferelden. They were actually brought over by the Orlesians during their occupation."

"Yes, they called them destriers and they were only ridden by the chevaliers," Sebastian nodded.

"It was one of the most troubling things we had to overcome when we fought to oust the Orlesians," Ser Perth continued. "If it weren't for Loghain Mac Tir, we might never have been able to do it."

"I heard he was a traitor and was killed during the blight," Sebastian frowned. "In fact, it was his betrayal that led to the forces being slaughtered at Ostagar."

"Loghain was supposed to use his forces to flank the darkspawn horde, but he pulled them out at the last moment," Liam shrugged.

"He did, it's true, but one bad deed, one error in judgement, doesn't erase all that he achieved," Ser Perth told them with a frown, his voice carrying a note of censure. "Anyway, after the Orlesians left, a couple of the Banns kept up with breeding them. King Maric saw how useful it was to have mounted knights and wanted some of his own."

"It can't be just the size that makes you go through all the trouble," Liam said shrewdly.

"No, no," the knight chuckled. "A draft horse is big and strong enough to carry a fully armored knight, but it would tire quickly. These horses have both the strength and the stamina to carry a knight into battle. They've also been trained to fight, just like the mabari."

"Well, I really only need a horse big enough to carry me around wearing all my gear," Liam hesitated. "I prefer to have my feet solidly on the ground during battle, thank you."

"I don't know Liam," Sebastian looked between the warrior and the horse being put through its paces. "All your previous experience has been against thieves, darkspawn, templars and the like. Orlesians make heavy use of Cavalry. Fighting on horseback gives them a huge advantage."

"How so?"

"It is extremely difficult to unseat a mounted knight when you have to dodge the hooves and teeth of his horse," Perth answered. "Usually it requires the horse to be broached." Seeing the puzzled expression on the warrior's face he clarified, "It means bring the animal down by gutting it."

"That's horrible," Liam gasped, his stomach lurching as his mind pictured such a scene.

"That's why we train knights and horses for mounted combat," Perth nodded agreement. "Better chance of the horse surviving the battle. Breeding them takes time. It's always nice to capture enemy war horses and add them to our stables."

"But, you haven't had a need for such since the Orlesians left," Liam pointed out.

"Maric and Loghain recognized the need to be prepared for the Orlesians to come back," Perth told him. "And now they're being proven right. With Orlais preparing to invade, the need for mounted knights to battle their chevaliers is high."

Catching Sebastian's steady gaze on him, Liam sputtered, "You're not thinking I should train to fight on horseback?"

"Why not?" the prince smiled. "Others look at you and see a brutish warrior. I know that behind that fierce countenance is a brilliant mind. Ser Perth is an expert and I'm sure he could teach you."

"Maybe, depending on how much time we have," the knight frowned thoughtfully. "Serrah Hawke already knows weapons and riding. It would simply be a matter of his learning the moves and commands to control his mount."

"First we have to find him a mount," Sebastian turned back to the corral and motioned for the handler to bring another horse out. "The key will be finding Liam the right one."

"Sure, no problem," Liam eyed the next horse being brought forward. It was a beautiful black with a high stepping gate. "Uhmm, not sure about this one," he said as he saw the rolling eyes.

"It does seem very spirited," Sebastian agreed. Stopping the handler before he could put the horse through it's paces he told him, "How about one that's a little quieter?"

"How about we forget about getting a war horse?" Liam grumped. He leant against the fence and sighed heavily. "The morning has gone and I'm getting hungry."

"You ate a huge breakfast, how can you be hungry this soon?" Sebastian protested. Getting no response, he followed the warrior's gaze and drew in a sharp breath. "Wow."

Liam stared silently at the gorgeous dapple gray with cream colored main and tail the handler had brought into the corral. The animal was the biggest one so far and yet it moved with a stately grace. It was a mount worthy of a king. "Now that's a horse."

The stable master, who had remained silent up to this point and allowed the horses to speak for themselves, said proudly, "This is my finest mount serrah. He comes from a long line of royal mounts." He signaled the handler to put the horse through it's paces knowing that once they saw how smoothly he moved they would want the animal. If the Champion of Kirkwall rode a mount from his stable into battle, then his reputation would increase dramatically and his family's fortune would be secured.

"What do you think Liam?" Sebastian asked. "He moves beautifully and looks to be manageable."

"This fine gelding is named Ghost," the stable master enthused. "He is very even tempered and also very comfortable with warhounds," he added, taking note of the mabari lying at the Champion's feet.

"Go into the corral and get a closer look Liam," Sebastian urged. "Take Ripper with you."

Liam sighed and grumbled as he did so, but in he went with his hound right at his heels. As he approached the horse, he saw it dip its head to peer at Ripper. Its tail swished but otherwise there was no reaction, which was promising. As he stopped next to the animal, he noticed that its shoulder was almost as high as his and its hooves looked to be the size of dinner plates. But what captured his attention was the intelligence shining in the animal's eyes. He reached up a hand to stroke the horse's neck, withers and flank. He could feel the muscles bunching under his hand, the power they held breathtaking.

Ripper sat on his haunches in front of the horse his master was petting. He understood the importance of these animals in human lives. However, many were nervous around him, though why they were baffled him. This one however seemed just as interested in him as he was in it. They stared at each other for a long moment before the horse nodded and looked away. Grinning, tongue lolling out of his mouth, Ripper lay down at the horse's feet.

"I think that this is the horse for you Serrah," the stable master encouraged. "And as you are a personal friend of Arl Teagan, I will give you a good price on him."

"What do you consider a good price is?" Liam asked.

"Ah, if you don't mind Liam, I can handle the negotiation for you," Sebastian spoke up. He had seen his friend's idea of negotiation. It was a wonder the man wasn't broke ten times over.

Liam looked at him and nodded once before turning his attention back to the animal. He really was magnificent, a mount worthy of a king. No doubt, the cost would be considerable. Not that money was really a problem for him. Varric had managed to find very lucrative investments for the money he'd earned over the years. And though the estate in Hightown was most likely lost to him forever, he was by no means a pauper. Having been born and raised on a farm, he'd never learned how to spend like the other nobles around him did. He just couldn't bring himself to buy something he didn't need.

Ser Perth pulled Sebastian aside. "The Arl knows these animals can be very expensive. Because King Alistair and Bann Surana both want him to lead our troops, he has authorized me to make payment on behalf of the crown."

"That's very kind of him, but Liam is not without financial means," the prince waived aside the offer. "This is not like buying a piece of armor or a sword. You know first hand that a special bond forms between a man and his horse during battle. That bond doesn't just go away afterwards. Also, Liam would not risk in battle what he doesn't own."

"I understand, still I had to make the offer," Perth nodded. He went to join Liam as the prince turned to negotiating for the animal. "This horse is perfect for you and I think he agrees," he said to the warrior.

"He is the finest mount I have ever seen," Liam agreed. "Is it difficult to learn to fight on horseback?"

"Not really, if you're a good rider," the knight answered. "The horse is trained to know how to keep enemies at bay. But, sometimes the horse can become confused during the heat of battle and then it is up to his rider to keep him focused."

"So basically it's knowing how to use the reins and commands," Liam stated.

"Pretty much," Ser Perth answered, turning as footsteps approached.

Seeing the smile on Sebastian's face, he knew an agreement had been reached, "Well, what do I owe?"

"The price of the horse is 26 pieces of gold and the stable master has agreed to throw in the tack," Sebastian told him proudly.

"Very well," Liam said, opening his money pouch and counting out the coin and handing it over.

"A pleasure doing business with you Serrah," the stable master grinned. "I will have the tack brought and the horse saddled for you."

Liam waited until the man was out of earshot before saying, "I was expecting to pay more."

"Well, his first asking price was 40, but after I offered him less than half, he got down to serious business," the prince shrugged.

"Well, I probably would have paid a lot more than that," Liam said sheepishly. "I was never very good at negotiating."

"Most warriors aren't, it's the nature of the beast," Ser Perth agreed. "We let our swords do the talking and negotiation requires a level of subtelty we aren't used to."

Seeing that the horse was finally saddled, Liam moved to it and carefully swung up on the animal's back. He felt a little dizzy as he realized how far off the ground he now was. He waited until the others had also mounted before clucking at the horse to get it moving. "Let's get back to the castle before I change my mind."

During the ride back, Liam found the horse to be amazingly easy to ride. The animal's gait was so smooth that it was actually pleasant being on the animal. He urged the horse into a full trot, bouncing easily in the saddle. He found he had no trouble maintaining his seat and soon felt confident enough to kick the horse into a full out gallop. The sound of the hooves on the ground was thunderous and he could feel the powerful muscles moving under him. As they neared the castle, he slowed to a trot and then a walk.

"You ride very well," Ser Perth told him. "I think you will find it easy to learn mounted fighting."

"It's the horse," Liam said breathlessly. "It hardly felt like I was riding. It felt more like I was flying!"

Sebastian smiled at the warrior's enthusiasm. He was like a kid with a new toy. "I told you that a good horse under you makes all the difference in the world," he said smugly.

"Yes, yes, you were right," Liam rolled his eyes. "Cocky bastard," he muttered.

A bell ringing brought their conversation to a halt. Looking up, Ser Perth realized that the afternoon had disappeared. "That's the supper bell," he said with some surprise.

"Excellent, I'm starving," Liam urged his horse to a trot and rode him through the portcullis and to the stables. Picking a stall, he removed the horse's tack. After scrounging around for a brush, he started on currying his mount.

Ser Perth nodded in approval, "Even though I have a squire, I always take care of grooming my own mount, unless circumstances prevent me. Even then, I always check on him before retiring for the night."

"My father never did this, prefering to leave it to servants," Sebastian mused as he set about grooming the horse he had ridden. "I always found it to be a relaxing thing to do and often helped out as a boy."

"If the horses are merely stock from the stable, then it doesn't matter," Perth pointed out. "But, if it is the animal you depend on to keep you from harm during battle, then it becomes absolutely critical. The grooming process is how you establish a strong bond with your horse."

When finished, the three men proceeded into the castle to the main dining hall to find the table already set and Teagan sitting at it. To his right was a blond-haired boy, maybe 8 or 9 years old, who was talking animatedly with the Arl.

"So, I told father that I wanted to come visit you and that I could bring the news as well as any courier," the boy was saying.

"Leyton, I know you better than that," Teagan smiled at him. "It wasn't me you came to see."

"We..ll, I did hear that the Champion of Kirkwall was here," the boy shrugged like it was no big deal.

"And you heard correctly kid," Liam had come to a stop in front of the table.

"Andraste's tits, you're even bigger than in the stories," Leyton had jumped to his feet and now was staring up at the warrior.

"Leyton, language!" Kaitlyn said sharply, having just come from checking the kitchen and the food about to be served. "And remember your manners. It's rude to stare."

"To whom do we have the pleasure of speaking?" Sebastian stepped up next to Liam, his speech falling naturally into the patterns of the court. Even though it had been years since he'd been at a royal court, the lessons drummed into him as a boy had never been forgotten and in fact had been quite useful in the Chantry.

"This is Leyton Theirin, King Alistair's son," Teagan saw shock cross his guests' faces and laughed. "That's exactly how my nephew looked when he found out."

"I wasn't aware that the king had a child," Liam studied the boy more closely.

"My mom never told him about me," Leyton stated matter of factly. "During the Blight, he came to Denerim with the Hero and met my mother at the Gnawed Noble where they had rented rooms. Basically, he got a little drunk and let down his guard and took a liking to my mother and she to him. She didn't know who he was, only that he was very sweet and charming, her words, not mine. They spent that one night together. It wasn't until a couple of months later, long after he left, that she realized she was pregnant. She didn't think he would want to be burdened with a child so she didn't say anything."

"How did he find out about you then?" Liam was curious.

"I was the one who made the discovery," Teagan took up the story. "It was a couple of years ago and I had occassion to be in Denerim on business. Even though I could have stayed at the palace, it was easier to rent a room at the Gnawed Noble. The tavern was a good place to conduct business. One night, I was walking to my room when this boy came running out of another one and ran right into me."

"I had nicked some underwear from one of the wenches as a joke," Leyton grinned. "She didn't find it funny though and started yelling."

"Go figure," Liam barely kept from laughing.

"Well, she chased me and I ran right into Uncle Teagan here, though I didn't know he was my uncle then," the boy continued.

"It was after he picked himself up from the floor that I got a good look at him," Teagan continued. "I was startled at how much he looked like Alistair did at that age. But it was when gave me that crooked grin that the resemblance hit home. I found his mother and asked her point blank if the boy was the king's. She hesitated before admitting the truth."

"See, mom was afraid that I would be taken from her and she would be sent to a monestary or something," Leyton interrupted.

"I knew differently however," Teagan motioned for the boy to be silent as he continued. "Alistair had told me about the problems Grey Wardens had conceiving. Also, Alistair has always done the right and honorable thing, regardless of public opinion. He took both mother and child into the palace and then officially declared Leyton his heir."

"It also had the effect of getting the nobles off his back about finding a queen and stuff," Leyton giggled.

"But how do you feel about it?" Sebastian asked. "The title of prince carries with it a great deal of responsibility. And being the heir adds even more."

"Dad wasn't expecting to be king either, but he doesn't seem to mind it so much," the boy shrugged. "Besides, I still get to see my old friends and do the things I always liked to do. It's just now I get an escort whenever I go anywhere. Which can make it a bit of a pain if I do something that's not exactly prince like and all."

"Like steal a wench's underwear?" Liam asked in amusement.

"Exactly!" the boy laughed.

"Please Serrah Hawke, don't encourage him," Kaitlyn pleaded.

"Boys will be boys dear, let him be," Teagan gently admonished. His wife glared at him and then headed towards the kitchen in a huff.

"I guess you're in the dog house now uncle?" Leyton asked. "That's what Mistress Gwen says when father goes against her wishes regarding me."

"Perhaps," Teagan smiled down at him. He lowered his voice conspiratorially, "When you get older, I'll tell you how to get around a woman being miffed at you."

"Tell me now!"

"When you're older," Teagan said firmly. "Now, the servants are bringing the food so take your seat."

"Serrah Hawke, would you sit next to me and tell me stories of Kirkwall?" Leyton pleaded.

Unable to resist the boy's big, blue-eyed gaze, Liam nodded and took a seat to the boy's left. Sebastian, at Leyton's request, took the seat to his right. As they ate, they took turns regaling the boy with their adventures in the Free Marches. The boy was so enraptured by the tales that they had to frequently remind him to eat. Teagan looked on, pleased that the boy seemed to like Hawke and Sebastian.

He turned to his wife, "Alistair included a personal note in the communications he sent. He said he would be pleased if the boy could spend time with and learn from the Champion and his companions."

"Why would he say that?" Kaitlyn frowned.

"Apparently, Leyton shows little interest in learning to fight or use weapons of any kind," Teagan replied.

"Well, maybe he would prefer more scholarly pursuits," she told him.

"That would be fine if he were a younger son," Teagan shook his head. "However, he's the heir to the throne and must know how about fighting and strategy and the like. Alistair thinks that because he didn't grow up around fighting men that he doesn't understand the importance of knowing such things."

Kaitlyn sighed, "It's a shame that he should have to learn such things at such a young age. He's still just a boy. He should be spending his time fishing, or playing ball, not learning to fight."

"Orlais has declared war on us," Teagan said firmly, his voice rising. "They have started moving troops south and will be at our borders in a few weeks. I'm afraid it will be like it was during the Blight when boys younger than him learned about the hardships of war."

"So, it's confirmed then?" Liam had overheard them.

"The official reason is that because the king is openly friends with mages, Ferelden is a threat to world peace," Teagan said with a snort. "They claim if they don't do something now that we will become another Tevinter. In reality, they're just pissed that they lost all those years ago and want revenge."

Liam was rather more subdued after that, allowing Sebastian to carry the bulk of the conversation with the boy. After they finished desert, he and Sebastian headed back to their rooms, inviting Fenris and Merrill to join them. As they gathered in the sitting room before the fire, Liam told them what Teagan had said.

"It was all the knights talked about at the table tonight," Fenris nodded. "I got the impression that they had hoped Orlais would reconsider war with Ferelden."

"And admit they were wrong in the process?" Sebastian snorted. "Orlesians are stubborn beyond belief and seldom change their minds after the fact. Like Teagan said, they have always regarded Ferelden as a rebellious province and have been constantly looking for a good enough excuse to get it back under their thumb by any means necessary."

"Then perhaps we should see about going on to the Circle Tower and then back to Denerim without further delay," Fenris stated simply.

"Plan on leaving in the morning," Liam told them. "It will take a couple of days travel around the lake to reach the tower."

"Why not cross the lake?" Merrill asked. "It would be quicker."

"Horses don't like to travel over water, so we'd have to leave them here," Sebastian answered. "It would take longer to come back for them and head to Denerim from here than to ride them to the Circle."

"Then, if we're to get an early start, we should seek our beds," Fenris stood up, bid them good night and left the room, Merrill hurrying after him.

"Goodnight," Sebastian called as he followed Liam into their room. He was taken by surprise as Liam pushed him against the closed door and proceeded to kiss him. The kiss was hot, fierce and very arousing. When it ended, he was further surprised by Liam's request.

"Make love to me Sebastian," Liam stated as he held the prince's gaze.

For the first time in his life, Sebastian was at a loss for words.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

When the silence between them stretched on a little too long, Liam began to feel a little foolish. Pulling back he stared apprehensively at the prince. "Don't you want to?"

Those words, practically whispered, snapped him back to attention. "I want to make love to you more than anything Liam."

"I hear a 'but' in there," Liam sulked.

Sebastian laid a hand on the side of the warrior's face, "Only a few days ago you were wanting to take things slowly. I have to wonder what brought about this change."

Liam nodded and relaxed. "I realized something very important tonight. We will soon be at war with Orlais and one or both of us could very well end up dying. If it's me, I don't want to meet the Maker with any regrets for what might have been. If this is all the time we have, then I want to enjoy every minute of it, experience all that my life has to offer me now."

"But what if it's me that doesn't make it?"

Liam met and held Sebastian's gaze. "If it's you, then I will not be far behind. I cannot live without you Seb, and I don't even want to try."

Sebastian swallowed hard and then pulled Liam into his arms and kissed him softly. "Then let's not waste any more time." He pushed the warrior backwards so that he fell onto the bed. "Stay there!" he ordered when Liam went to get up. After making sure Liam wasn't going to move, he began to slowly strip for the man. As each article of clothing was removed, he ran his hands over the exposed flesh.

Liam felt his mouth go dry and his britches were suddenly too tight. The prince had a magnificent body, wide at the shoulders and narrowing to slim hips. His legs were long, lean and well muscled. His arms were almost as muscular as his own, as was common with expert bowmen. He was pleased to see that the only hair on the prince's body was a thin treasure trail leading to an ample bush and nice sized cock. He preferred feeling smooth skin under his fingers.

When he finished, Sebastian moved towards the bed and then reached out for the laces on Liam's trousers. "I have been waiting for this moment and I intend to make it last as long as possible."

"Or at least until breakfast," Liam chuckled and then motioned to Sebastian to get comfortable. "My turn."

With a wolfish grin, Sebastian moved to sit back against the pillows as the warrior began to put on a strip tease of his own. He held his breath as each part of Liam's body was revealed, his eyes following every move. Never had he seen a man to match the physical perfection of Liam, and he had seen plenty in his youth. The sheer size and strength of the man was enough to give most people pause, but he had no fear for he could see the love shining in Liam's eyes. His eyes roamed freely until they landed on the warrior's cock. It was at full arousal and it was quite simply the largest he'd ever seen. He swallowed at the thought of taking that monster cock inside his body.

Seeing the look, Liam smiled wryly, "I know that I'm larger than normal and taking me requires a lot of preparation. But, as much as I like taking someone, I enjoy receiving even more." He looked away, blushing slightly as he confessed, "It might surprise you to know that I like someone else to be in charge in the bedroom."

Sebastian's mouth dropped open in surprise. "Are you saying you like to be dominated?"

"Yes," Liam blushed even more with that admission.

The prince stared at this handsome, hulking, giant of a man and found himself smiling. "I'm more sure now than ever before that we are truly meant for each other." Seeing Liam's puzzlement, he elaborated. "I like being in charge in the bedroom. I would say we're a match made in heaven."

Liam suddenly laughed and then jumped on the bed, straddling the prince and grabbing his arms to hold him down. "Don't think that I'm just going to lie there and let you have your way with me. If you're going to be in charge, then you will have to take control."

"Is that a challenge messere?" Sebastian grinned back. "Because I am certainly up for it."

Liam ground his hips against him, a wicked grin curving his lips,"Yes, I can feel that you are."

With a great effort, Sebastian managed to flip the warrior off him and then get on top to pin him down. "Be prepared to surrender serrah, for I will accept nothing less."

Liam struggled briefly and then relaxed back against the bed. "Go on then and have your wicked way with me."

"I intend to, trust me," the prince said huskily and then proceeded to do just that.

It was the twitter of birds outside the open window that woke Sebastian the next morning. Slowly opening his eyes, he judged, by the lack of bright sun, that it was still fairly early. Looking down, he smiled to see Liam sprawled across him, his mouth open and soft snores issuing forth. Last night had been incredible. It had been even better than their one previous night all those years ago. Probably because they were both sober and fully aware of what the other was doing. In sleep, the warrior looked much younger than his years. It was a sight that made his heart ache and vow to ensure that the warrior never had another sad moment in his life.

Liam stirred and slowly woke to the feeling of a gentle touch brushing his hair back. Memories of the previous night flooded in and a satisfied smile curved his lips. "Good Morning, Seb," he sighed.

"Good morn to you," the prince smiled down at him. "How are you feeling?" Last night he had needed to prepare Liam more than he thought for the man was tight as a money lender's purse. Liam admitted that it had been almost two years since anyone had taken him like that. He had surpressed his anger at Anders, barely, and devoted his energy to making sure Liam had an experience he would never forget.

"I'm a little sore, but I'm not complaining," he grinned widely before his expression turned serious. "Thank you for the most wonderful experience I've ever had in bed. It far surpasses our one night we had all those years ago."

"I enjoyed it too," Sebastian said softly before leaning down to kiss him. They continued to kiss until a knock on their door interrupted them.

"Forgive me sers, but messere Fenris says that breakfast will be ready shortly," Reginald's hesitant voice replied to their query. "I checked and the bath water is hot and the tubs are free right now."

"Thank you Reginald, we'll be out shortly," Sebastian said in dismissal. As the bed began to shake a little, he looked down to see Liam barely holding back his laughter. "And what do you find so amusing?"

"Reggie sounded like he thought he was interrupting something and should apologize," was the answer. "I was picturing him red-faced and shifting from foot-to-foot in embarassment."

"He probably was," Sebastian laughed with him. "He's always been like that." Then he sighed, "It looks like any plans I had for a leisurely morning makeout session are out the window now."

"Are you sure?" Liam pouted and mischieviously ran a hand down to cup the prince's hard cock.

"I guess breakfast can wait a little," Sebastian said breathlessly.

Almost an hour later the pair showed up in the kitchen with their hair still wet from the bath. The knowing look they got from Fenris caused them both to blush. Quickly taking their seats, they filled their plates with eggs, bacon, sausage, ham and biscuits, with Liam taking twice as much as the prince. A serving girl brought them a pot of fresh brewed coffee and poured them two big mugs before setting the pot down and leaving.

"Is there a reason you're so late to breakfast?" Fenris smirked. "Usually Hawke is the first to the table and the last to leave."

"Looks like someone got lucky last night," Merrill chirped, giggling when they both turned red.

"It's none of your business what we do behind closed doors," Liam scowled at both of them.

"I'll take that as a 'Yes'," Merrill snickered.

"Serrah Hawke, you're up," Leyton stated as he bounded into the kitchen. "I've been waiting for like, ever. Uncle Teagan said that a man of your importance should have a squire and I said I'd like to be your squire and he said that I had to ask you if it's okay," he said in a rush.

Liam almost choked on a piece of sausage, "What?" As the boy started to open his mouth to repeat himself, Liam held up his hand. "I heard you, you just caught me by surprise is all."

Sebastian studied the boy closely, rubbing thoughtfully at his chin. "You're nine right? That's a little young for a squire."

"I'll be ten in two months," Leyton bristled.

"It's not your age so much as your size," the prince replied. "Usually a boy doesn't become a squire until he's around fourteen. The duties of a squire require a little more size and muscle than you have right now."

Seeing the boy's face fall, Liam felt a little bad at disappointing him. He knew that the boy really just wanted to spend time with him. And in all honesty, he liked the spirit the kid showed. It reminded him of himself at that age. Seeing as how he was not likely to have a son of his own, he figured it would be fun to borrow the king's for a little while. "Well, you may be too small to help me with my armor or weapons, but you can certainly help me care for my horse. So, why not? You can come with us if you want to, all the way to Denerim even."

"Really, really?" Leyton said excitedly. "You're not pulling my leg are you?"

"No, I'm serious," Liam hid his smile.

"Yeah! Wait till I tell everyone," the boy shouted and hurried out of the kitchen.

"Be ready to go in an hour!" Liam shouted to him and got a faint 'okay' in return.

"Whoa, watch where you're going Leyton," Teagan's voice carried to them from the hall. A moment later he entered the kitchen and sat down at the table with them. "From how excited the boy is, I'm guessing you're letting him go with you." Seeing the warrior nod he smiled, "Thank you for allowing my grand nephew to accompany you. The king will appreciate it too."

The emphasis on the boy's status was not lost on the prince. "It's always worthwhile to be in the good graces of a king," Sebastian nodded. "Just what exactly is the reason for all of this Teagan?" his voice was sharp with suspicion and carried a note of warning. He knew how nobility worked and the Arl was being a little too pleasant in his opinion.

"The king feels his son needs to show more interest in arms and fighting," the Arl replied mildly. "When he is king, he will have to be ready to lead the army at any time. The generals and commanders of the armies are not likely to listen to anyone who doesn't have first hand knowledge, king or no."

"So, what does this have to do with Liam?" the prince pressed.

"Until the Champion's arrival in Ferelden, the king had been unable to engage the boy's curiosity in anything remotely linked to fighting," Teagan answered with a smile. "When word reached the castle and the king, Leyton was suddenly asking questions left and right. The king feels that Serrah Hawke will be a good influence on the boy and will be thankful for any time spent with him."

"I'm surprised the king is allowing this," Liam mused. "I mean, he doesn't really know me. After all, we only met once and that was under rather trying circumstances."

"I remember, and so does the king," Teagan stated. "Though the meeting was brief, you made a lasting impression on him and he followed the events in Kirkwall with great interest from that point on."

"He will trust me with his son? Even after all that happened in Kirkwall?"

"You are not respsonsible for what Anders did," Teagan stated firmly. "As a Grey Warden, the king tends to view things in a different way from others. He also values loyalty to one's friends."

"Wasn't he a templar before he was a Warden?" Fenris asked.

"He was. Duncan conscripted him," Teagan nodded. "So he is well aware of Chantry dogma and teachings. Which he doesn't agree with for the most part, mainly due to his long friendship with Wynne, may she be at the Maker's side. He's seen both sides of the coin and searched for a way to do it better and bring things back to the way Andraste intended them to be. He feels that all Anders did was hasten the eventual rebellion that he could see coming elsewhere. Remember, the Circle here rebelled during the Blight. Loghain knew of the unrest in the Circle and used it for his own purposes. Dozens lost their lives and it could have been prevented if proper checks and balances had been in place. That's why he's worked so hard to change things here in Ferelden."

"Power corrupts, whether amongst the Chantry or the Mages," Liam nodded. "In Kirkwall, the abuse of such powers was wide spread and was what ultimately drove Anders to do what he did. He couldn't see any other way, no matter how hard I tried to make him."

"Arl Teagan, you're saying the same thing is less likely to happen here, because of actions taken by the King?" Merrill looked over at him.

"Yes, which is why I want you to keep an open mind when you visit the Circle Tower," Teagan urged. "I know that Anders probably told you all kinds of stories, some of which might be true. But things are very different now."

Liam stared at him for a long moment before finally nodding. "I promise. I always knew that Anders' views of the Chantry and the Circle were skewed by what he suffered personally. There are good and bad people to be found on both sides of the issue. I just could never get him to see that."

"It took me years to understand that not all mages were bad and not all templars were good," Fenris said.

"But you eventually realized the truth," Liam pointed out.

"Too bad Orlais can't seem to see things as clearly," Teagan snorted. "But, we'll show them the error of their ways soon enough."

"I promise to look after the king's son and make sure he's back in Denerim well before Orlais reaches our borders," Liam swore.

"Good," Teagan stood up. "I will write to the king and let him know his son is in good hands. Now, I better make sure that Leyton is getting ready. In his excitement, he might forget to pack what he needs."

The others watched him go and then started discussing all that had been said. Fenris in particular urged caution, which was echoed in part by Sebastian. "Those with power often have not only public agendas but private ones as well," the elf was saying. "He may be using the boy as a means to tie you to him for the coming war."

"That's rather cynical of you dear," Merrill tutted. "From all I heard about King Alistair, he wouldn't do such a thing,"

"You are correct in that he wouldn't," Teagan had come back after making sure Leyton was getting ready for his little trip. "Unlike most in his position, he wasn't born to it. He was raised as an orphan bastard child, sent to the Chantry because the former Arlessa of Redcliffe believed the rumors that he was my brother's son. He would have known nothing of his true identity if not for Duncan. He is probably the most guileless boy I ever knew."

"Your his uncle, of course you would say that," Fenris pointed out.

"You originally came from Tevinter, then lived for some time in Kirkwall, and thus the only examples you've had of rulers is from those places," Teagan pointed out. "You've seen only the corrupt, vain, and ineffectual kind of rulers. King Alistair is good, kind and decent. He does not have a hidden agenda. He wouldn't even have a clue about how to get one."

"What he says is true you know," Kaitlyn smiled at them as she took a seat beside her husband. "I am a simple peasant girl from Redcliffe village who was helped by the Hero of Ferelden years ago. Teagan and I met in Denerim and it was love at first sight. When he proposed I was the happiest girl in the world. But many of the nobles saw only that I was a commoner and were against our marrying. The Arling of Redcliffe is the largest in Ferelden and the third largest of all the holdings in the land. Only the teynirs are bigger."

"The nobles of the Landsmeet wanted me to marry one of the many available daughters and widows instead," Teagan took up the story. "Alistair put his foot down and said that Kaitlyn was loyal, smart, and more than worthy to be my wife. He said a person's nobility was determined by their actions, not their blood."

"And he has the right of it," Sebastian stated firmly. "I was born a prince, but my time as a lay brother in the Chantry taught me humility and the true definition of nobility. I saw noble acts every day being carried out by those the noble families of Kirkwall would have deemed beneath their notice."

"This is what I meant about keeping an open mind Fenris," Teagan looked directly at the elf, holding his gaze. "Alistair being on the throne is a good thing for us because he reminds us every day of what true nobility is. He also helps to remind the nobles of where we come from. Our most honored knight was Loghain Mac Tir. Born a commoner he grew up to became the greatest general Ferelden had ever known."

"I'm all packed, aren't you ready yet?" Leyton came bounding into the kitchen.

"They've just finished their breakfast and still need to pack nephew," Teagan admonished. "Why don't you go see to it that the stablemaster has the horses ready. You can wait for them there while they pack."

"Okay," Leyton pouted a bit. "Just, it's a nice day and we shouldn't waste it," he argued as he turned and left to do as his uncle bid.

"Boys," Kaitlyn shook her head. "Always in such a hurry. He reminds me a lot of Bevin at that age. My little brother was only a couple of years older than him when Blight struck Ferelden. When the castle came under the influence of a demon, the village was attacked by undead monsters. Our mother was lost to us then and Bevin wanted so badly to take grandfather's sword and fight them, but he was too little."

"Where is your brother now?" Fenris asked.

"He was knighted by the King last year and is now a member of the King's personal bodyguard," she answered proudly. "Not bad for a little boy from the village."

"At any rate, the boy does have a valid point about not wasting time," Liam said as he stood. "Let's get our things and head out without further delay. But, we won't rush our journey. We should strive to enjoy our time now."

"Agreed," Sebastian stood as well.

"Well, we're already packed so we'll meet you at the stables," Fenris nodded at them.

"We won't be long," Liam called back over his shoulder.

"Are you sure it won't be too much to have the boy tagging along?" Sebastian asked as they walked up to their room.

"Actually, I see a lot of myself in the kid," Liam admitted. "However, my father had been an apostate, as was my sister. So we had to be careful about who we associated with. Not only that, father knew next to nothing about fighting and weaponry. All he could do was give me books to read. It wasn't until we settled in Lothering that I actually had the chance to be around those who knew about armor and weapons and fighting, and so forth. I was almost fifteen by then, well past the usual age when boys started their training."

"So, how did you come by your training then?" the prince wondered. "I know you had your skills before you set foot in Kirkwall."

"There was a young templar, a friend of the Mage's Collective," Liam went on. "Father had asked for help and this man volunteered. He came out to the farm once a week on his day off to train me. For the next four years, we spent the entire day from sunup to sundown praciticing. By that time I was pretty much as big as I am now and he figured that I'd finally stopped growing enough to get a good set or armor. He took to Denerim and paid a smith to craft me a set that fit."

"That was very generous of him," Sebastian whistled. He knew just how much good armor cost.

"I will always be thankfull to him," the warrior agreed.

"Where is he now?"

"I don't know," Liam shook his head. "The last I saw of him, he was standing rear guard as the last of the villagers fled Lothering." He fell silent thinking of the templar and those last days.

Sebastian said nothing. Left unspoken was the fact that the man probably died when Lothering fell. "Well, now I understand more why you've taken such a liking to the boy."

"A boy who is probably driving everyone up the walls as we speak," Liam chuckled.

"Yes, we better hurry and get down there."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

It was mid-morning by the time they'd gotten all their gear together and lashed to the pack horses. Liam wasn't concerned about the time, for the journey around Lake Calenhad was only about a hard day's ride. They had no intention of riding that hard and in fact planned to camp at least once upon the way. He didn't know what to expect and didn't want to arrive when the sun was setting. The bright light of morning would be better. Besides, Ser Perth had promised to show him how to fight on horseback and the trip to the Circle and afterwards to Denerim was the perfect opportunity for that.

Leyton rode beside him, asking all types of questions about his armor and weapons, the battles he'd been in, the places he'd visited. He imagined that to someone restricted by the rules and protocols of a king's court, his life seemed glamorous and exciting. It had been anything but.

"So, you were like fighting every day against blood mages and qunari," the boy reiterated, his voice full of awe.

"Not every day, no, but more frequently than I cared for," Liam said wryly. He sighed and drew rein, signaling to the others to stop as well. "This is a good spot to take a break and eat lunch." It had ample shade and plenty of soft grass. He dismounted and led his horse into the shade of trees next to the road, the boy following him.

"But, you're a warrior, fighting is what you do," Leyton protested. "It sounds so much better than meeting with nobles and having dinner parties."

"Most warriors fight because there is a need for it, not because they love it, your highness," Ser Perth admonished as he joined them. "Your pack has some rations in it. A good soldier never misses a meal."

"Believe me when I say that there is no joy in constantly fighting," Liam nodded in agreement. He removed his rations and a canteen of water, then went to sit under a shady tree.

"But, if you're not fighting, what do you do?" Leyton asked as he fished a piece of jerky out and bit into it. He fixed his gaze on the warrior as he took a seat on the grass in front of him.

"Most of us find other interests to pursue," Sebastian put forth as he moved to sit beside Liam. "I enjoy reading and gardening."

"I enjoy teaching and training pages and squires," Perth called from where he stood keeping an eye on the road and watching for potential trouble. Though the land was peaceful, thieves and bandits still roamed the roads. If the boy got so much as a scratch, it would be his head that would roll.

"And I enjoy sitting by the fire playing cards and conversing with friends," Liam sighed. "Something that I rarely got the chance to do while in Kirkwall. I even missed farming." Seeing the boy's face fall, he reached out and touched his shoulder. "I enjoy being able to use my skills to help those who need it. It is a good and noble thing to fight for those who are helpless and can't defend themselves. But, having to do it all the time makes it a chore and dulls the taste of victory. Do you understand?"

Leyton lifted his gaze to the warrior's and frowned, "It's like me liking to ride the horses but having to always muck the stables first right? I'd rather just go riding."

"Wouldn't we all?" Sebastian chuckled. "But, a little work makes the fun things that much more fun."

"I think I get it now," Leyton nodded. "It's the difference between wanting to do something and having to do it." He looked at the mabari laying next to Liam. "Can I play with your hound for a bit?"

Liam smiled and nodded, "His name's Ripper." He turned to look at the dog and snapped his fingers, "Ripper, the prince wants to play okay." The dog got to his feet with a happy bark, his stubby tail wagging.

Leyton looked around and found a nice sized stick. "Come on boy, let's play fetch," he said as he tossed the stick. Ripper took off like he was shot out of a slingshot, the boy laughing as he followed.

The three men all looked after the boy as he chased the dog. "I've been watching him closely during the ride here," Sebastian finally said to Liam. "Did you know he mimicks what you do?" he asked, a small smile curving his lips. Seeing the skepticism in the warrior's face he elaborated. "When you shift position in the saddle he copies you. When you switch the reins from one hand to another, he copies you. He has found in you a hero to emulate."

"Just what the king hoped would happen," Perth chuckled.

"I can think of no better role model for a young boy than Hawke," Fenris said as he came to a stop next to them. "You are strong, loyal, trustworthy, and honest. All traits a good king needs to have. He is learning about negotiation and diplomacy at court, but being a good leader is about so much more."

Liam swallowed hard, surprised at the emotion those words stirred in him. "You have a lot of faith in me Fenris."

"You earned my trust years ago and nothing you've done since has shaken that trust," the elf said solemnly. "Not even getting personally involved with Anders. I will follow you and fight by your side until such time as we no longer need to fight."

"May the Maker see fit to bring such a time to pass," Sebastian said solemnly. "It seems like the entire world is rapidly heading towards open warfare right now. This business with Orlais is but a part of it. I have to wonder if we'll see peace again in our lifetime."

"You know, Flemeth spoke of this when we freed her from that locket on top of Sundermount," Merrill reminded them as she walked up to them. "She talked about a precipice of change and leaping and lots of other stuff. Somehow, she foresaw all of this."

"Flemeth? The Witch of the Wilds?" Perth started. "Most people hereabouts figured her to be nothing more than a legend."

"Oh, she's real," she said softly. "I doubt that she can ever really be killed."

"The only thing we need to worry about at this moment is the threat from Orlais," Liam said firmly as he got to his feet. "Whatever is happening elsewhere is beyond our ability to influence or control."

"But, our victory over, or defeat at, the hands of the Orlesians could very well decide the fate of others," Merrill said sagely. "Keeper Marethari always emphasized that we are all part of the great circle of life, that each person has an effect on those around them." She looked down at her feet, "It was the first and most important lesson taught me in my studies to become her heir and I forgot them in my selfish pursuit for answers to Tamlen's fate."

"Your actions affected only a few," Fenris pointed out. "But you're right, a large scale war will have consequences far more reaching."

"We should get going," Perth got to his feet. "If you wish to reach the Circle tomorrow morning then we need to put some miles behind us now."

Liam got to his feet and whistled for Ripper as he went to collect his mount. The prince came running up with the dog and proceeded to collect his own mount. As they moved to form up for the ride, Liam looked thoughtfully between the boy and Sebastian. "Your highness, Ser Perth and I need to discuss the principles of mounted combat. You can ride beside Sebastian for a couple of hours. As the Prince of Starkhaven, you two can probably find a great deal to talk about." He smiled innocently at Sebastian.

"Starkhaven is the largest principality in the Free Marches," Leyton said excitedly. "You rule it?"

Sebastian shot a look at Liam promising to get even before answering the boy. "I am the legitimate heir, but not the ruler." Seeing the puzzled look cross the boy's face he sighed. "It's a long story. But, there's time to tell it and it will actually be a good life lesson for you."

"How so?" Leyton asked as he moved his mount to fall in step with Sebastians.

"I was a rebellious young man," he sighed. "As the third son, I didn't have much of a future and no responsibilities to speak of. So I spent my time drinking and carousing, fighting in bars and indulging in houses of... ill-repute."

"You can say whorehouse you know," Leyton giggled. "I wasn't born in a palace so I do know about such things."

Sebastian felt his face flush. Hearing snickers come from those around them, he looked up to see Liam looking back at him and trying to contain his mirth. "Yes, well, anyway, as I was saying I was a wild boy. My parents finally lost their patience and sent me away to live in the Chantry in Kirkwall."

"I've read that it's a common practice amongst noble families to send a third born son or daughter to serve in the Chantry," Leyton nodded. "It happens a lot more in Orlais than anywhere else. But, no one ever really said why. Now I know," he finished with a grin.

Hearing more muffled laughter, Sebastian hastened to correct the boy's assumption. "My situation was a little unusual. Most parents send their children to the Chantry because they wish to go. Amongst noble and royal families, it is more often a case of garnering power and influence. Noble children are placed in such a way that they can eventually move into positions of prominence within the Chantry."

"You mean, the parents deliberately place them to become Revered mothers and Knight-Commanders?" Leyton couldn't hide his shock. "That seems awfully cold and man-man-"

"Manipulative?" Sebastian prompted and got a nod. "It does and it is, but such is the way of things."

"My mother always said that serving the Maker was a calling, a blessing," the boy frowned. "She had an aunt she was close to who was a priest."

"It should be, and for most who serve it is seen that way," Sebastian agreed. "For me, it was a last, desperate measure to save me from a life of ruin. And it worked. I finally found a purpose for my life and would have happily remained there if not for the tragic death of my older brothers at the hand of assassins."

"That's horrible!" Leyton gasped. "Why would anyone do something like that?"

"For power, money," Sebastian told him sadly. "It's something you will always have to be on the lookout for your highness."

"Such things are disturbingly common in Tevinter and even in Orlais," Fenris stated flatly. "For all their high ideals, Orlesians are just as likely to assassinate their rivals as the Magisters. And though such a thing is less likely to occur here in Ferelden, it has happened in the past. One must be aware of the possibility of it happening again. As heir to the throne, you are a target your highness."

"Why would someone target me?" he asked in confusion as he looked back at the elves riding in the wagon.

"You were born out of wedlock, same as your royal father," Sebastian said gently. "I understand that there was some opposition to Alistair becoming king for this reason. There is the possibility that someone, someday, may object to you becoming king in his place."

"But, he is the heir by blood," Merrill protested. "Plus, I heard Teagan say he was the spitting image of Alistair. Why would anyone object?"

Fenris shook his head as he answered, "There are those in power who always want more. More gold, more property, more power, and they will do anything to get it. Even legitimate heirs are at risk."

"It is less likely to happen here, but you must still be on guard," Sebastian told the boy.

"That's why I can't go anywhere without the a guard anymore isn't it?" he asked.

"Yes, your highness," Sebastian nodded. "Now, how about we talk about the more pleasant aspects of being a prince?"

The conversation turned to such topics as parties and hunting and the miles flew by for them. About two hours before sunset, Ser Perth called a halt. Looking at Liam he smiled, "I figured we can use the remaining daylight to practice some of the things we discussed."

"Sounds good to me," the warrior nodded and pulled to a halt. "We can do it while supper is being prepared," he said as he dismounted to double check the tack and shorten the reins. He was unable to stifle a groan as muscles he didn't know he had protested the action.

Sebastian groaned as well, shooting a sympathetic look at Liam. "I'd forgotten how strenuous riding a horse could be."

Leyton dismounted with ease and giggled as he saw the older men rubbing their backsides. "It's not so bad once you've got a few dozen rides under your belt."

"Dozens?" Liam groaned. "I might not last through a second, never mind dozens."

"He's right though," Sebastian said ruefully. "It only gets easier through practice."

"Do you want to skip the practice today?" Ser Perth asked in concern. He rode all the time and had forgotten how painful the first few days riding could be.

"If we had months to prepare for Orlais' arrival I would, but we don't," Liam shook his head. "If I'm going to learn this, I need to take every opportunity to practice I can get."

"It's your ass, your choice," Perth snickered and then saw Leyton watching him and flushed. "Pardon my manners your highness."

"I've heard worse, I did grow up in a tavern," the boy shrugged.

Sebastian leaned close to whisper to Liam, "I'll be more than happy to give you a massage tonight in our tent."

Liam blushed and glanced sidelong at the others to see if they heard. "Uh, yeah, sounds good." The way Sebastian had said that caused all sorts of naughty thoughts to go through his head. Leading the horse away, he called to Perth, "Time waits for no man."

Sebastian was still chuckling as he pulled their tent from the wagon. He saw Merrill going through their supplies. "What's for supper?"

"I've got some salted pork to roast over spits," she answered distractedly.

"Sounds good," he licked his lips as his stomach rumbled. He walked over to where the knights accompanying the prince were setting up two large and one small tent. He couldn't help but smile as he heard Leyton arguing with them.

"I want to set my tent next to Hawke's," the boy pouted.

"Apologies prince, but your safety is our concern," one of them said sharply. "Your father the king set down specific rules for you to follow while you travel the lands. Do I need to remind you of them?"

"No Ser," he mumbled, scowling as he scuffed his toe in the grass.

"You'll have plenty of opportunity to talk with Serrah Hawke over the next couple of weeks," the other said more gently. "Now, finish setting up your tent and then see if the others need help with preparing our supper."

Sebastian shook his head and then looked about him. Spying a level stretch of grass somewhat removed from the rest, he took the tent he would be sharing with Hawke over to it. It would give them some privacy should they wish to be intimate. While, he didn't intend to hide his relationship with the warrior, he felt it best not to flaunt it.

Leyton gave one last sullen look at his father's men and then hurried over to Sebastian. "Can I help set up Hawke's tent?"

Sebastian looked at the boy and hesitated. He realized that, outside of men at arms, it was unusual for two men to share a tent. But, he didn't want to hide it either. He cleared his throat, "Actually, Hawke and I share a tent, and as you can see, it's already set up."

Leyton looked at him in puzzlement and then suddenly his eyes widened. "Oh! So, you're like Zev and Drevan, a couple."

Sebastian blinked at him and then nodded. "You know the Hero of Ferelden?"

"Oh yeah, he's come to court many times," Leyton answered. "He always sleeps in the same bed as Zev. I caught them making out in the hallway outside their room once," he giggled. "Drevan's face turned so red and he was at a loss for words for once. Zev of course shrugged it off. Then again, that elf never seems to be embarassed about anything."

"Hawke and I are together yes," Sebastian couldn't hide his relief. Not everyone was comfortable with the idea of two men being lovers.

"Hey, no worries," Leyton shrugged. "I've actually caught Zevran putting a move or two on dad. Always leaves him flustered, but I think maybe if it weren't for Drevan then dad might have gone to bed with him." He saw the look given him and paused, "What's wrong?"

Sebastian closed his mouth with a snap. "Nothing. I'm just not used to having such a conversation with a kid, let alone a prince. I suppose having been raised in a tavern since birth that you are more worldly than most noble sons."

"Well, I have seen quite a bit in my ten years," Leyton nodded. "But, Zevran is in a whole different class altogether. I think he'd spend all day in bed having sex if he could get away with it."

"Your highness, it isn't proper for a prince to speak so candidly about such things," Reginald admonished. "Out here, it's not a big deal for you are amongst fighting men. At court, however, the nobles, especially the women, would not be so amused by your candor."

"I'm sure that he behaves as is proper while amongst the nobility," Sebastian defended the boy.

"Like you did my lord?" Reginald smirked at him.

Sebastian flushed and shifted from foot to foot, looking for all the world like a little boy caught doing something wrong by his parents. "Yes, well, that was completely different."

"If you say so, your highness," Reginald rolled his eyes and went back to helping Fenris set up the other tents.

Sebastian turned back to Leyton to find the boy looking at him in sympathy. "He means well."

"Good to know I'm not the only one who gets scolded regularly," he replied. "But, I would have thought that as an adult it wouldn't happen."

"Consequences of keeping in your service one who paddled your backside as a kid," Sebastian said wryly. He saw that dinner would take a while longer and suggested they go watch Hawke and Perth, to which the boy readily agreed.

They stood to the side watching the two men on horseback. Sebastian noticed that they weren't really jousting. More like practicing the moves. He saw that Leyton seemed to be a little bored and asked what was wrong.

"I was expecting to see them whacking at each other," the boy sighed.

"Oh, they will eventually joust in earnest," Sebastian reassured him. "But, Hawke doesn't know how the horse will move under him. He also doesn't know the signals needed to tell the horse to rear, back away, shift to the side and so forth. He needs to learn these things first or he will find himself in the dirt more often than not."

"You seem to know a lot about these things," the boy looked up at him.

"Archery was my thing, but as Prince, I had to be knowledgable about all methods of combat," he replied. He saw a curious look come over the boy's face. "What?"

Leyton hesitated briefly before blurting, "Could you show me how to shoot a bow?"

"I thought you wanted to be a warrior like Hawke?" Sebastian asked in confusion. "Don't get me wrong. Archery is a valid weapon for combat, though not as exciting perhaps as a mounted combat."

"Well, I do want to be a knight," Leyton nodded. "But, my mom has been fighting with my dad about it. I overheard her saying she didn't want me learning something that would put me at risk on the front lines."

"All mothers worry about their sons going into battle, no matter what part they may play in it," Sebastian said softly. "But, what they want the most is for their children to be happy. If being a knight will make you happy, then she will accept it."

"But, not all young men are suited to become knights, your highness," Fenris had quietly joined them. "There are very real physical requirements that must be met, most noticeably one of physical strength."

"Well, you're an elf and yet you have that huge sword," Leyton pointed out.

"Yes, but I can wield it because my physical strength has been augmented," Fenris said quietly.

"Is that what those markings are?" the boy asked. He'd been wanting to ask, but had been afraid of how the elf would react. He was intimidating.

"They are lyrium," the elf nodded. "And they allow me to do things in battle no mere man can emulate."

"The physical requirements are why most boys aren't required to choose a path until they're in their mid teens," Sebastian said. "In Hawke's case, he was already bigger than many men by the time he was that age. Being a warrior was always in the cards for him."

"I actually came to tell you that supper is almost ready," Fenris stated absently as he watched the two mounted men. He raised two fingers to his lips and gave a sharp whistle, a signal devised long ago to get Hawke's attention in battle. Seeing the warrior pause he waived to them. "Supper's ready!"

"Well, I strongly suggest we get over there and get our food before Hawke arrives, or we might not get anything at all," Sebastian said with a chuckle as he turned away.

Leyton fell into step with him. "Can he really eat that much?"

"Without a doubt," Fenris nodded. "I've seen the man put it away. But don't worry, Merrill is aware of this fact and has made two roasts."

"Still, it's rude not to eat when the food is ready," Sebastian smiled. "Wouldn't want to uspet the cook or she might turn us into toads."

"Is she a mage?" Leyton asked excitedly.

"We'll discuss that another time," Sebastian steered him toward the pits.

They were joined in short order by Hawke and Perth, both still discussing the ins and outs of mounted combat. Sebastian shook his head as his lover spoke around a mouth of food. "I love you Hawke, but I really don't want to see your mouth full of food," he admonished.

Hawke flushed, looking like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Sorry, Seb."

"We'll continue our discussion tomorrow," Ser Perth bit back a chuckle. He was surprised at how comfortable he felt in the presence of these near strangers. He'd heard all sorts of wild tales and rumors about them. However, after only a mere day in their company, he could tell they were good people. He knew that they could be trusted with the young prince and he felt some of the tension leave his body.

The Arl had placed the heir to the throne in their care and trusted them to look after him. He had no worries for the boy's safety as long as he remained in the company of Hawke and his companions. He could only hope that nothing changed when they arrived at the Circle on the morrow.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Liam drew rein and sat staring at the spire looming out of Lake Calenhad. Anders' description of it failed to impart the full majesty of the place. Looking at it, he could easily believe the rumor that it was raised with magic, for surely no mere effort of man could create something so smoothly finished. Unlike with the towers found in castles, there was no seam or crack to be found with the naked eye. It appeared flawless, but he knew that sometimes the worst flaws were the ones not readily seen. From what Anders had told him, the beauty on the outside hid the ugliness found within.

What was even more surprising was the sight of a small village sprawled along the shore at the foot of the hill they were on. Anders' never told him about anyone living right outside the tower. He could see and hear the lively bustle of the people as they went about their daily tasks. And if his eyes were not mistaken, there were mages and templars moving about as well.

"Anders never mentioned anything about this, did he?" Sebastian asked in a hushed voice.

"No, it must be something recent," Liam shook his head.

"This village was established less than five years ago," Ser Perth informed them. "It started as an experiment between the Mages Collective and the Templars to see if mage and non-mage could live and work alongside each other."

"Seems like it was a success, since the village is still here and apparently thriving," Sebastian couldn't hide his surprise. This went against everything the Chantry taught. They preached that to allow this was to bring about another Imperium. He saw no sign of that here.

A shout from below them snapped them out of their thoughts. "I guess we look a pretty frightening sight," Liam said wryly. "I suggest we ride down there and introduce ourselves."

Ser Perth looked to the soldier on his left, "Hoist the standard." The Redcliffe Pennant was recognized by all around. It would ease any fears the people below had.

Liam took the lead and led them down to where a male templar and a female mage stood beside each other to greet them. He saw their eyes flick to the the banner behind them and their posture relaxed slightly. He pulled to a stop and dismounted. Before he could say or do anything, Ser Perth stepped forward.

"I bring you greetings from Arl Teagan," he dipped his head. "This is Liam Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall, Sebastian Vael, Prince of Starkhaven, and Prince Leyton, Heir to the Throne."

Upon the boy's introduction, both the mage and templar bowed deeply. "Your highness," they said in unison. "You honor us with your presence," the templar continued.

"Your companions, serrah," the mage addressed Liam while looking at the two elves, "they are not mere servants are they? I can sense the power they both wield." Her voice held more than a little suspicion.

"They are my friends and my longtime companions," he answered, a hard edge to his voice, his hand unconsciously reaching for his sword.

Seeing the mage's eyes narrow, Perth intervened. "They are honored guests of the Arl and personal friends of the Prince. You will treat them with the respect they deserve."

The mage looked down and backed away, "Pardon my rudeness, sers."

"Liam Hawke," the templar stepped forward. "Your reputation preceeds you. I am glad to see my efforts so long ago did not go to waste."

Liam stared at him, taking in the dark brown hair now greying at the sides. He was the right age, but he honestly hadn't expected to ever see the man alive again. "Ser Bradley? You survived the destruction of Lothering?" he stuttered.

Bradley stepped forward and gripped the warrior's arms while looking up into his eyes. "I did and I prayed that you had as well. But, it wasn't until rumors reached here of a giant of a man with exceptional prowess on the field, who went by the name of Hawke, that I knew my prayers were answered. I then made discreet inquiries and learned that you had not only survived, but had become an important figure in Kirkwall."

Liam took Sebastian's arm and pulled him forward slightly, "Seb, this is the templar I told you about, the one who taught me about fighting." He faced the templar and put his arm around Seb's waist. "Bradley, this is my partner, the other half of my soul."

Seb looked sideways at Liam, his heart suddenly beating hard in his chest. He couldn't help the pleased flush that came over him at Liam's open acknowledgement of their relationship. It made him almost giddy with happiness. He stood just a little taller as he faced the Templar.

The two men shook hands as they sized each other up. Both liked what they saw. "We'll have to sit down sometime during your visit and get caught up on what's been happening in our lives since the Blight," Bradley told them. He turned to the silently waiting mage, "Glenna, thank you for standing with me, but these men pose no threat. I think, however, that your students are getting restless."

She turned to see a couple of them had begun to wander off. "Oh no! Children! Children! Class is not dismissed yet," she called as she hurried away.

"What does she teach?" Sebastian asked.

"Herbalism and healing," Bradley answered. "But don't be fooled. She is competent with elemental magic as well. She could have given you problems."

"But her strength is in the healing arts," Liam nodded. "Anders was the same."

"Actually, one mage is not really much of a threat to us," Fenris said as he walked forward. "In Kirkwall, we dealt with whole groups of mages and blood mages on numerous occasions. We know exactly how to neutralize any threat she poses."

"Such skill will definately come in handy against Orlais," Ser Perth stated, made nervous by the rather confrontational tone of the tattooed elf.

Bradley, however, laughed heartily and clapped Fenris on the shoulder. "I figured any companions of Liam's would be exceptionally talented. Good to know I was right." He looked at they lyrium markings with interest. "I'm guessing that those are primarily responsible for your confidence."

"As much as I hated the method of getting them, I do appreciate their usefulness," the elf nodded.

"I'm sure you have lots of questions, and would like to explore the village, but you should check in with those in charge at the Tower," Bradley waived them forward. "Once you've done that, you can come back here anytime."

Liam reached out and shook the man's hand again, "I'm really glad to see you. Let's get together tonight for dinner. That way we can spend the evening catching up."

"That sounds good," he said as he released the warrior's hand. "See that large building just past the inn? That's where I live since I'm pretty much stationed here in the village. I am on duty until dusk, so dinner works for me." He looked around at the group, "There are rooms in the Inn and the tower for guests and there is a large stable on the far side of village for your mounts."

"Thank you," Ser Perth nodded and then turned to the men. "Set about getting rooms for yourselves and getting the horses settled for the night. We will be here for a couple of days, maybe longer. Inform the Innkeeper and Stable Master of such."

After promising to have dinner with Bradley and handing the reins of his horse over to the men-at-arms to stable, Liam led the others on foot down to the water, following a well-worn footpath. It led them to a narrow footbridge spanning the lake to the doors of the tower. "This looks new," he said as he perused the wood.

The templar standing watch at the end of the bridge stepped forward in greeting. "Welcome to the Circle Tower at Lake Calenhad. This bridge was built at the same time the village was established. Prior to that time, the only way to reach the tower was via boat. As you can see, the bridge itself will allow no more than two men to pass at one time. This of course prevents any kind of serious attack on the tower."

"I am Ser Perth and with me are-"

"Your party was expected Ser Perth," the man interrupted. "The First Enchanter requests that you report to Knight-Commander Bryant in the main lobby of the Tower. You will receive further instruction then. Please enjoy your visit," he finished and waived them onward.

"Bryant, hmm?" Liam frowned. "I think he was in charge of the Lothering Templars. Like Bradley, he was one of the last to leave. I made sure to be pleasant and respectful to all of them when I visited the village. I had to make sure they had no reason to come out to the farm. I wonder if he'll remember me."

"Well, Lena will have told them all about us," Sebastian was walking by his side at the front, the others strung out behind them. "It will spark his memory, I'm sure. You're not exactly an easy man to forget."

When they reached the tower they found the doors wide open and two templars standing guard. They were greeted pleasantly and waived through. They followed a short hallway and came to a stop in a wide atrium where a lone templar stood. Liam recognized the armor and insignia as that belonging to a Knight Commander from all the times he'd seen Cullen wearing it.

"Greetings Serrah Hawke, Prince Vael," the man nodded at them. "I am Knight Commander Bryant and I welcome you to the Circle of Ferelden." He tilted his head at Liam, "I remember you from Lothering. I always wondered where your life would take you. I hoped one day that you would see your potential realized. The news reports from Kirkwall indicated that you did indeed succeed."

"I did enjoy moderate success there," Liam agreed. "But, it cost me much that I held dear. My entire family in fact."

"Sorry to hear that," Bryant sighed. "You were always a serious young man, one dedicated to his family. I'm sure you did all that you could. Beyond that we must trust in the Maker and his plans for us." He shook his head, "But, I'm sure you didn't come all the way here to talk about the past."

"No, I wanted to see the Tower for myself," Liam stated. "I heard many stories, not all good either, and wanted to judge for myself the truth behind them."

"Lena told me that you knew a mage named Anders who resided here before he joined the Wardens, same as the Hero of Ferelden," Bryant stated.

"I spent over half my life in the Chantry and what Anders said about this place contradicted so much of what I thought to be true," Sebastian broke in a little sharply. He took a deep breath and continued, "I wanted to see the place he regarded as a prison to escape from."

Bryant studied them silently for a moment before motioning them to the side. When they were out of earshot from the others he said softly, "I can guess at some of what you've heard. Sadly, his stories probably held more truth to them than not."

"What do you mean?" Liam goggled at him, Sebastian echoing the sentiment.

"Back when Anders was here, unrest amongst the mages had already begun to raise its ugly head," Bryant answered. "It began amongst the younger mages, specifically one named Uldred."

"Isn't he the one who nearly destroyed the Tower during the Blight?" Sebastian asked.

"One and the same," the commader agreed. "And if not for the timely arrival of the Hero of Ferelden, this Tower would not exist today."

"Anders told me of some harsh punishments and abuse at the hands of the Templars," Liam stated flatly. "Was this Uldred responsible for it in some way?"

"Indirectly perhaps," Bryant shook his head. "I know Anders escaped numerous times and each time they tried to reason with him. Eventually this lead to his being confined to a cell in the basement. It was a fairly common practice back then. But, the unrest caused by Uldred and his faction made Gregoir and Irving overreact in some cases. And just as there were corrupt mages, there were corrupt templars. We may want to think that nothing goes on that we don't know about, but the truth is, there's no way we can watch everyone all the time."

"Anders has scars from beatings he recieved while in confinement," Liam said harshly. "He said that he never mentioned it because no one would believe a mage over a Templar."

"I cannot speak for what happened here before my appointment," Bryant held up a hand. "However, I can assure you that such things no longer occur here. In fact, we don't even have cells anymore. One of the last acts of Gregoir before he retired after cleaning up the Tower was to turn the cells into storerooms."

"He felt responsible for atrocities committed under his watch and did what he could to make amends," a woman's voice broke into the conversation.

The three men turned to see the First Enchanter standing there. "Good to see you again Lena," Liam said.

"And you cousin," she nodded at them. "I wish I could say that what Anders told you was nothing more than a figment of his imagination-"

"That would be hard to do since I saw the scars on his back from a whip," Liam's voice went cold. "He got them while imprisoned here. And I have no reason to believe he's lying. What kind of monsters would beat another human being so badly and not allow them to heal themselves?"

"Well I'm sure they-"

"No!" Liam cut her off again. "Don't try to lie or make it sound better. Anders was an _exceptional _healer and he never liked the sight of his own blood. If he could have healed himself, he would have. That means that your precious templars prevented him from doing so."

"Things have changed Liam," Lena said calmly. "This is why I wanted to meet with you before your tour. I can assure you that if Irving had known, he would have stopped such abuses. But, the unrest perpetrated by Uldred and his faction caused a rift between Irving and Gregoir. They both grew cautious and started keeping more to themselves than before. I believe this distance allowed some bad templars to run free for a little while."

"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself of that," Sebastian stated softly.

"First Enchanter Lena is telling the truth," Bryant spoke up. "After I was appointed as Knight-Commander here, I had access to all of Gregoirs things. Among them was a letter addressed to his successor and a diary."

"You never told me this," Lena said sharply.

"It was something passed on from one Knight Commander to another and therefore for my eyes only," Bryant rebutted. "I'm sure Irving left similar things for you, yet you never shared any of it with me."

"You have a point," Lena sighed. "And I'm sure you would have shared anything that pertained to my position or the lives of the mages in your care."

"That is what we're supposed to do correct?" Bryant said with some amusement. "Work together to make the world safer for mages and ordinary men? If not, let me know and I can squirrel away in my office and ignore you."

Lena shook her head and wagged a finger at him causing Liam to bust out laughing. "Now this is how I imagined the relationship between a First Enchanter and Knight-Commander was supposed to be."

Seeing the puzzled looks on their faces, Sebastian explained. "In Kirkwall, those in power rarely saw eye to eye. In fact, they seemed to have blinders on to the problems around them. And by now, the whole world knows what the result was."

"A city in ruins, a circle destroyed, hundreds of lives lost," Lena shook her head sadly.

"And it didn't stop there," Bryant reminded her. "It quickly spread to surrounding lands and goaded Orlais into declaring war on Ferelden."

"Orlais was just looking for an excuse to go to war with us," Liam snorted derisively. "If it hadn't been the uprising in Kirkwall, it would have been something else. They never have gotten over getting their asses kicked."

"At any rate, I've come down here to personally guide you on a tour of the Tower," Lena said. "I was afraid that you would start jumping to conclusions, or be hostile to others based on what Anders had told you. My fears proved true it seems."

Liam shifted uncomfortably under her scrutiny. "I guess I'm not as partial as I would like to have been."

"I am going to show you that what happened in the past, is indeed in the past," Lena said firmly.

"Perhaps we can start with the basement," Bryant suggested. "Let him see that the cells no longer exist."

Liam studied the two for a few moments before nodding. "Show me then."

Lena motioned for them to follow and Liam fell into step beside her, with Bryant and Sebastian right behind. The others followed as they wished. Fenris felt his skin begin to itch slightly and his markings glowed faintly. "I can feel how much magic is held within these walls. Centuries of mages trapped here have left their very essence behind," he murmured.

"Your markings give you this knowledge?" Lena looked at him over her shoulder, her interest quite apparent.

"They were placed there by a Magister of Tevinter, using a ritual most foul," he told her. "They give me powers beyond those of mortal soldiers. But, don't ask me how it was done. I remember nothing but the agonizing pain."

"I too can sense some of what has occured here," Merrill said softly. "All magic, whether good or bad, wielded by spirit or demon, elf or human, leaves a trace upon the world. In the days of Arlathan, all elves knew magic, but some had more of the gift than others. Rarer still were those who could see the essence of magic left behind and read its portents."

"You are speaking of Divination," Lena frowned at her.

"That is what the humans called it, yes," she nodded. "It is a talent that was lost and not yet reclaimed."

"They know of it in Tevinter," Fenris told them. "For centuries the Magisters have been on the lookout for any born with the talent for it. They are still waiting."

"You sound rather glad of that," Liam looked back at him. "Why?"

"Because in the wrong hands, it can do great harm," Lena answered.

"You mean in the hands of humans," Merrill retorted.

"I mean in the hands of anyone who wished to harm others," Lena didn't take the bait.

"Elves are not immune to corruption," Sebastian glowered at the elven girl. "Or have you forgotten so soon what we faced in Kirkwall's alienage or amongst your clan?"

Merrill looked down at her feet, properly chastised. "You're right. All mages have the potential for evil as well as good."

"It is a magic like any other," Lena tutted. "In itself it is not dangerous. It is the intent or purpose of the one wielding it that makes it so."

She brought them to a stop in front of a massive door. Bryant stepped up to the door, hand held out, a prayer passing his lips as he did so. When he stepped back, Lena hit the door with a spell and it slowly began to open. She turned to the others, "This area can only be accessed by a templar and a mage working together. After Jowen's escape, the password was changed and only the Knight-Commander was to know it. No mage can come down here unless he comes along."

"Fortunately, these areas are used only for storage now," Bryant chuckled. "Otherwise, I would probably never be able to get any other work done."

"Grump all you want, but you understand the necessity," Lena chided him. She led the others through, "There are many sensitive and dangerous things kept here. Not to mention the phylacteries of all the apprentices and children living here."

"There's something odd about that door," Merrill stared intently at it.

"That leads to the phylactery chamber and is warded against all magic," Bryant answered. "Come along now," he motioned them to follow Lena.

They followed her, the floor under their feet sloping gently as they went. They passed several open rooms that were filled with books and statuary and other things they'd never seen or heard of before. At last, they came to the holding cells. Liam just stopped and stared at the broken bars and littered floors for a long while before entering one of them. If not for all the torches on the walls, it would be impossible to see anything.

"It was in one of these that Anders and who knows how many other mages were held," he said softly. "I see stains on the floors and walls that I recognize all to well. No light other than what the templars chose to provide. Alone in the dark with no one to hear them scream."

"As I said, that was in the past," Lena told him. "And as you can see, they haven't been used for such purposes in a long time."

"I can sense their fear, hear their cries," Merrill choked. "All of it was true, what Anders said."

Lena looked at her, startled. She could see no lie in the girl's eyes. "Apparently so," she acknowledged softly. "But as I said, it's in the past. As you can see, we no longer use these cells."

"So what punishments do you use now?" Sebastian asked.

Lena looked at him, a wicked little gleam in her eye. "Something truly novel. Chores."

"What?" Liam frowned.

"Students who misbehave are tasked with menial labor," Bryant answered. "Whatever the most unpleasant task we can find for them. And whatever task they are set, they are not allowed to use any magic whatsoever."

"They scrub floors on their hands and knees, muck out stables, feed and clean up after pigs and other livestock," Lena listed. "All things that once were relegated to the Tranquil to do."

"I have to say, I approve," Sebastian nodded. "As a boy living in my father's castle, my punishments were often limited to denying me a particular past time or favorite dessert. It wasn't until I was placed in the Chantry that I understood the value of those who performed such menial tasks."

"Before I became Denarius' pet, my life consisted of nothing but manual labor," Fenris shrugged. "My mother said it built character."

"My parents made sure that Bethany had chores to do, same as us," Liam nodded. "It kept us out of trouble for the most part."

"Okay, if you've seen enough here, there is much more I would show you," Lena stated. "Hopefully, by the time the tour is done, you will have a better opinion of the Tower and those who live here."

"All right, lead on," Liam gestured.

Lena nodded and then turned around to lead them up into the tower proper. "We have done much to make the Tower more welcoming. We allow family members to visit the students if they wish. We hold more classes outdoors and allow students and apprentices who've earned it to go outside the walls for extended periods."

"Earned it?" Sebastian reiterated.

"If students perform a task well, or do well on a test or exam, that is one of the rewards," Lena nodded. "They are treated the same as students at any school in the world would be."

"And it's proving to be a far better deterrent than locking them away from everyone," Bryant told them.

Liam just looked at them silently for a while. Finally, he could feel some of the tension leave his body. "I can't wait to see more."

"Onward then," Lena nodded and the tour continued.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Dinner with Ser Bradley that night turned out to be very enlightening for Liam's companions. Having grown up in Ferelden, Merrill was always eager to hear about the country from a non-Dalish source. Fenris liked hearing about Hawke's early years, before he became the one everyone else looked up to. It helped him understand better some of the decisions his friend had made. The more Sebastian learned about Liam, the deeper his love for the man became. Ser Perth, having only rumors and second-hand tales to go on, eagerly listened hoping to understand the man behind those stories.

"I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this evening Liam," Bradley said, leaning back in his chair as he pushed his plate away. "And not just the excellent meal either. To hear all you've accomplished gives me great satisfaction. A teacher always likes to hear that his student has done well."

"I really think that it was the foundation you gave me that allowed me to accomplish all that I did," Liam nodded. "Still, I wish sometimes that fate hadn't led me on that path to begin with."

"The Maker had his hand on you from the beginning Liam," Sebastian shook his head. "He had a plan for you and all that happened was by his design." He ignored the eye rolling and skeptical glances from the two elves at the table. He saw that Liam wasn't sure if he agreed or not.

"You speak wisely," Bradley nodded at the prince, earning a surprised look from Liam. "My boy, I entered the service of the Chantry as a teenager. I have spent my entire life surrounded by those who lived to serve the Maker. I absolutely believe that everything happens for a reason. The Maker has a plan for all of us and we must trust in that. I can see that you still think that there was something more that you could have done to save your family. Let me assure you that your family was called to the Maker's side at the appropriate time."

"Carver was so young, he didn't have a chance to grow into the man I know he could have been," Liam protested.

"The Maker's plan for him was to die during your run from Lothering," Bradley argued. "He was not meant to grow old. From what you have told me, his death drove you to be more vigilant, to not take for granted any relationship. Without this, you would have let others deal with the troubles around Kirkwall and the city and people in it would have been worse off than they were."

"I have always placed my faith in the Maker," Sebastian reached out to hold Liam's hand. "The Maker guided your steps to Kirkwall and gave you the strength and determination to take a stand for those who had no one else to turn to. And he led you to me, though I was too blind to see it right away. But, he never removed his hand from us and thus we are reunited in time to deal with yet another threat."

"This time, the threat comes from those who are viewed as the ones who know the Maker and his teachings the best," Fenris spoke up. "If the Maker's plan is for Hawke to fight them, then whose side is the right side?"

"There is nothing in any of the Holy texts or scriptures to support the actions Orlais has taken," Bradley said emphatically. "They have grown too powerful and have become as corrupt as the Tevinter Mages," he finished with a sneer.

"Indeed," Sebastian agreed. "Grand Cleric Elthina told me that war should always be a last resort, and then only if it is forced upon us, when there was no other option left. Orlais hasn't even tried to find any other way to resolve the conflict as they should be doing."

"This war is not about the conflict between the Chantry and the Circles," Perth snorted. "They want their territory back, plain and simple."

"Dad won't let that happen," Leyton stated confidently. "He was raised by the Chantry and sees the Orlesians for what they are."

"And what are they son?" Bradley asked, a slight smile on his face.

"Lying, cheating, amoral lip servers," the boy smirked.

"Your higness!" Perth gasped, but Bradley busted out laughing.

"He reminds me a lot of you Liam," the templar looked at the warrior. "You too were very opinionated and outspoken about Orlais."

"Thank you Ser," Leyton beamed at him. "I hope to become as great a Champion as Hawke someday."

Liam felt himself blushing under the admiring gaze of the boy. Yet, despite his embarassment, he found himself pleased to be a hero in the boys eyes. Perhaps, he could do for the boy what he was never able to do for Carver. Still, it was best to set the boys expectations to a more appropriate level. "You should wait to judge me until you've actually seen what I can do for yourself. Never rely on tales and heresy to form your opinions."

"Okay," Leyton nodded. "You'll still teach me some of what you know though, right?"

"I would love to," Liam nodded and smiled at the relieved look on the boy's face.

"Now your highness, you have a couple of hours left until bedtime," Perth turned to the boy. "Your father made it clear that you were to keep up with your studies while on this trip." He ignored the boy's groan and continued. "You were given a reprieve during the trip here because studying while camping is near to impossible. So, while we are here, you will get as much studying done as possible."

"Do I have to?" Leyton wheedled.

"Your highness," Liam spoke up. "One day, you will be king after your father and you will want to be a smart king. So, you have to study now to achieve that. I studied even when it wasn't required of me. The more you know, the better your decisions when they matter the most. So, go with Ser Perth and don't give him any trouble."

"Yes, Ser," Leyton nodded and turned to leave.

After they were gone, Bradley turned to look at Liam. "You will make a great father some day."

"Yes, he will," Sebastian agreed.

"The boy is luckier than he knows," Fenris said quietly. "Few bastards, whether high born or not, are given the opportunities he has been given. If King Cailan had sired any children, then King Alistair would not have even had the chance to become king and Leyton would not have the opportunities he has. Without all of that, he would be given just enough schooling to help him survive."

"Perhaps that is something he should be reminded of from time to time," Merrill pointed out. "Among the Dalish, it would be unthinkable that any child would be denied the opportunity to learn."

"Are you saying that you all learn to read and write, even the hunters?" Liam peered at her.

"Of course," the girl nodded. "Children are not put into their roles in the clan until they are mature enough to handle the responsibility. And hunters must sometimes write messages to the clan when they are out in the forests. The ability to read and write is what has helped all the clans to not only survive, but thrive, for we can communicate to each other any threats we face. Even orphans are given the same opportunities as others. Whether they choose to learn or not is up to them, but at least they are given a chance. But even if they don't learn anything, the clan does not turn their backs on them as humans sometimes do."

"It is sad to think that we, with all our advantages and blessings, are less considerate of the less fortunate amongst us than the Dalish," Sebastian frowned.

"It is not so bad here in Ferelden," Bradley said confidently. "The Chantry has set up schools in central locations so all children can learn to read and write if they wish to and their parents let them. Take me for example. I was the fourth son of a farmer and the sixth of eight children. The farm was too small to support all of us and so I, along with four of my siblings, was told to seek our fortunes elsewhere. We all had gone to the Chantry school and learned what we could."

"Did you become a templar because of the Chantry schooling?" Fenris asked.

"No, but the teacher who taught us history did inspire me," Bradley answered.

"Sounds like you have quite the story to tell," Liam said as he stood up. "How about we make ourselves comfortable in front of the fire?"

They picked up their drinks and called to the maids to clear the table of their supper. "And bring us a couple of bottles of your finest brandy please," Liam told the giggling girls.

"I swear, you could charm a spinster aunt out of her clothes," Sebastian shook his head at the admiring looks Liam got from them.

"Funny thing is he does it unconsciously," Fenris chuckled. "It used to annoy Anders to no end." He saw a shadow cross Liam's face and looked down at his feet. "Sorry Hawke."

"No, it's alright," Liam waived off his concern. "It will take some time for all the sadness to leave. It will be easier on me if we don't dance around such topics when they come up."

"Just remember Liam, everything happens for a reason and the Maker has a purpose for everyone," Bradley said softly. "And when we have served our purpose, as your Anders has done, we will be called back to the Maker's side to live in eternal peace."

"So I've been told, and it is something to hold on to when my thoughts turn dark," Liam nodded as they chose their seats, with him and Sebastian sharing the small sofa. As soon as he sat down, Sebastian slipped his arm around his shoulders and gave him a comforting hug.

Merrill stretched out on the rug in front of the fire next to Ripper who was busy gnawing on the leg bone of the boar they'd been served for supper. Fenris took the straight-backed chair near her leaving the cushioned wing chair for Bradley. "All I know of the Chantry and what it does is what I witnessed in Kirkwall," Fenris said, his tone curious. "And from what Anders and others have said, what happened there is not the way things are supposed to be."

"Sadly, it is becoming more common in the world these days," Bradley sighed heavily. "It is not just mages who have been corrupted by their power. Many in the Chantry have fallen prey to the power they wield and the wealth and status that comes with it."

"It is not true of the Ferelden Chantry though, from what I've heard," Merrill pointed out.

"Well, not since King Alistair took the throne," Bradley admitted. "Before that, there were a few who became enamored of the power and influence they wielded."

"And they were told to pack their bags and take ship for Orlais," Liam chuckled. Seeing Bradley's puzzled look he explained. "We received a visit from Drevan, the Hero of Ferelden when we were holed up in the Brazilian Forest. He told us of the visit from Orlais and the demands they made."

"Ah yes," Bradley smiled in memory. That story had been eagerly retold all over Ferelden. "For the most part though, the ones running the Chantry here are pretty down to earth. In fact, most of them come from the ranks of the common folk. Most children of noble families pursue other paths."

"In Orlais and even the Free Marches, noble families see the Chantry as a way to increase their influence and power," Sebastian told them. "In fact, in many families, they acutally plan to have enough children that they will have at least one child they can dedicate to the Chantry."

"It is the same in Tevinter," Fenris agreed. "The Magisters control everything, including the Chantry. The easiest way to maintain that control is to have their offspring in positions of power within it."

"The people of Ferelden have always been fiercely independant," Bradley stated. "Part of that is the strict adherence to the idea of the seperation of Chantry and State. Joining the chantry is a choice, not a mandate. Noble children here are given the freedom to choose what they wish to do with their lives. With the exception of the heirs of course if they're an only child."

"And from the sounds of it, most choose a path other than the Chantry," Sebastian said almost wistfully.

"You said that your family gave you to the Chantry," Liam said softly. "You were never given a choice?"

"I was the third son," Sebastian shrugged. "I had no direction and probably would have ended up in a gutter somewhere either dead or dying from some disease. Being sent to the Chantry in Kirkwall was the best thing to ever happen to me."

"As it was for me," Bradley nodded. "I of course could have chosen to do something else, but like I said, the priest who taught me history inspired me with tales of how the Chantry was founded to protect the weak and helpless from those with the power to do harm, whether by magical means or otherwise."

"But you didn't have to go to the Chantry," Fenris persisted. "You could have sought a position at a noble house or with a city guard."

"Yes, but the competition for such positions was very fierce and one usually needed someone on the inside to vouch for them in order to have a chance at getting in," Bradley shook his head. "Furthermore, the only places with access to better training or education were the estates of the Banns or Teryns, or the Royal Palace. The Chantry was free and open to whoever wished to enter, be they common or noble."

"I imagine that raising eight kids on a farm wasn't easy," Liam coaxed after they'd sat in silence for some time.

"It isn't easy no matter what," Bradley nodded. "Our father held the title of Lord of Greenfair, a good sized farmhold in the southern part of Guaren. It had its own small river and mill, blacksmith, hostlery and farmstand. Two thirds of the land were dedicated to growing grain and the other third to raising sheep. Despite the title, we were commoners to the bone."

"I think Ferelden is the only country where a commoner could rise to a position of power and influence," Sebastian broke in. "King Alistair and Teryn Loghain are two fine examples."

"It's true that Fereldens put more stock in what a person can do than what their lineage is," Bradley agreed. "And it's why many in Orlais look down their noses at us."

"They can look down all they want," Liam said heatedly. "I am proud to call myself a 'barbarian' from backwoods Ferleden." Everyone laughed at that.

"Anyway, despite the apparent wealth of my family, eight kids was still far more than could be reasonably supported in the community," Bradley continued. "My sister Amelia was the first born and as soon as she came of age was married to the eldest son of the farmer whose land abutted ours to the north despite begin two years older than him. My brothers Quinn and Ragnor were second and third born. Quinn was automatically the heir and so was groomed for that position. Ragnor was also trained to take over, just as a precaution, which turned out to be a good thing."

"Your eldest brother died?" Fenris asked.

"We're not sure," Bradley shook his head. "He up and ran off one day never to be heard from or seen again, and leaving a wife and young son behind."

"Ragnor ended up marrying his brother's wife and adopting the kid, didn't he?" Liam asked knowingly.

"After enough time had passed for the Chantry to declare him legally dead," Bradley sighed.

"All these years and no word?" Merrill said sadly. "I know how painful it is to not know what happened to a loved one."

"I still sometimes find myself looking out the window at night and wondering where he is and why he left so suddenly," Bradley mused. "The woman he had married was a veritable shrew so maybe he just couldn't take it anymore."

"If she was so bad, why did Ragnor not just push her aside and marry someone more palatable?" Fenris asked.

"Her son was the heir by birth," Bradley answered. "Marrying his brother's 'widow' gave him control over the boy and the land. I've never held with hitting women, but Ragnor often resorted to beating the woman when she harangued him. Eventually she abandoned him and her son and disappeared. Ragnor found a wonderful young woman and married her. She became quite the proper mother for little Davy and a fertile field for Ragnor if you know what I mean."

"The family name is not going to die out anytime soon right?" Liam snorted.

"Did you ever find out what happened to her?" Sebastian frowned at their amusement, feeling a little sorry for the woman.

"Her body was found by a patrol a couple of weeks later just outside the Brecilian Forest," Bradley shook his head. "She appeared to have been assaulted by several men. That area has always been a home for thieves and bandits because of the superstitions that people around there hold."

Merrill shook her head, "Even after all I've seen, it still astounds me at how cruel humans are to their own kind."

"It's not just humans," Fenris argued. "The elves who live amongst humans have forgotten the honor and ideals of their ancesters. Many of them are just as likely to hurt others as humans."

"What about the rest of your siblings?" Liam wanted to get back on subject.

"After my brothers came my sister Joy," Bradley smiled as he spoke. "She was aptly name for she was always happy. She loved learning and the Chantry. When she was old enough, she began training to become a teacher. She was recently made headmistress of the Denrim public school by the king."

"A public school?" Sebastian was startled. "I've never heard of such a thing."

"It was an idea the king had been tossing about for a bit," he told them. "He wanted every child, no matter where they came from, to have the opportunity to learn."

"You were the sixth born and the fourth boy?" Sebastian prompted.

"Yes, after Joy came Brock who loved horses and working with his hands," Bradley answered. "Our blacksmith only had one child, a daughter, so he was quite happy to apprentice Brock. Brock married the girl and now runs the smithy. And then there was me. I was drawn to the Chantry and it's teachings from a young age. But, I also had a natural talent for swordplay. Which is how I recognized the talent in you and not your brother," he looked pointedly at Liam.

"What do you mean?" Liam was startled.

"When I took you under my wing it was because I saw myself in you," Bradley explained. "Sadly, I saw more of my younger brother Seth in Carver. Seth and his twin sister Mina were born years after the rest of us. I had already begun my Templar training. Mina was a sickly child and sadly died shortly after her fourth birthday. Seth was never quite the same after that. As he grew older, he decided he wanted to be a warrior like me and dogged my every step. Yet, when I tried to give him some pointers he brushed me off saying he didn't need my help. He started picking fights with passing soldiers and getting in brawls at the local tavern."

"Is he dead too?" Merrill asked in a shaky voice. She was never comfortable with such topics.

"No, fortunately," Bradley shook his head. "One day he challenged one of Teryn Loghain's men. After losing spectacularly to the knight, the man dragged him before Teryn Loghain who saw something worthy in Seth. Instead of throwing him in prison, he told him he was going to train him personally. The Teryn wasn't afraid to beat some sense into my brother when needed. Seth eventually became the Captain of the Guard of Guaren castle."

"Is he still there?" Liam asked.

"Yes," Bradley smiled. "He learned well and married a lovely young lady who bore him four fine children, three sons and a daughter. His sons are members of the guard and his daughter is handmaiden to Lady Anora."

"If Carver had had the chance, he too would have made a good life for himself," Liam stated stubbornly.

"Perhaps, if had he found someone willing and patient enough," Bradley acknowledged. "However, it was not meant to be and to dwell on it is pointless. You must focus on the future Liam, for your sake and everyone else's."

"He is right love," Sebastian said softly. "He is with your mother and Anders at the Maker's side, a fate we all strive for. Bethany has found her place with the Grey Wardens and your place is here. Let it go."

Fenris suddenly yawned and stretched. The fire had burned low and the sky had darkened outside. "It is getting late and we've had a rather long day." He got to his feet and gave a short bow to Bradley, "I thank you for the story of your family. I learned much about Ferelden and it's people from it."

"I thank you as well Ser Bradley," Merrill said softly. "I always enjoy learning about other cultures."

The two said their goodnights and left to find their room. "Are they a couple?" Bradley asked.

"I think so, though neither seems ready to admit it," Liam smiled fondly at them. "Fenris has been my loyal friend practically since I set foot in Kirkwall. Merrill and I started off as reluctant allies. We helped each other when necessary. Fenris and Merrill couldn't really stand each other when they first met."

"Sounds like there is quite the story there," Bradley encouraged.

"And it would be theirs to tell," Liam smiled to soften the rejection. "I will tell you that Merrill practiced Blood Magic at one time."

"Really?" the templar tensed. "I would not repeat that outside this room if you wish to keep her safe. Even here in Ferelden, blood mages are treated with fear and loathing. The whole business with the Circle rebellion during the Blight intensified those feelings. The Chantry has done what it can to mitigate people's fears, but not at the cost of those poor misguided souls."

"I have to say, that's not the reaction I would expecting," Sebastian peered at the templar.

"Contrary to what many believe, the Chantry doesn't automatically condemn those who dabble in forbidden magic," Bradley said wryly. "They prefer to assess each situation on an individual basis to determine if there is a real danger present. Many foolish young mages, misled by the myth that life in Tevinter is better than elsewhere, have fallen prey to the blandishments of demons. Most are able to turn their backs on such things and become productive members of the mage community."

"Merrill was led astray because of the loss of someone she cared for," Liam said softly. "A fellow Dalish named Tamlen disappeared after an encounter with darkspawn in a cave. The tribe never found his body and Merrill refused to accept that he was dead for the longest time. However, she has now forsaken that kind of magic and instead focused her energy on herbalism and healing, something she has quite a talent for."

"Her secret is safe with me," Bradley assured them.

"And now, we should seek our own bed and allow you to go to yours," Sebastian said as he got to his feet.

"I would ask you stay a little longer, but I understand how you might want some private time," Bradley stood with them. "Also, I do have an early shift tomorrow. But, if you have the time, I would love to have dinner with you again before you continue on to Denerim."

"Well, tomorrow they're having a fancy dinner party at the Tower in my honor," Liam shrugged, a little embarassed by the thought, and not too keen on the whole thing. "But, perhaps the following night if we can spare the time."

"We'll make the time," Sebastian promised. At Liam's skeptical look he explained, "We can always set a faster pace when we leave here. But, since we can't foresee the future, we should spend as much time as possible with friends and family."

"Then, we'll get together the day after," Liam said as he shook Bradley's hand.

"I look forward to it, and have a good night," Bradley ushered them out with a smile.

Liam and Sebastian walked in silence down the hall to the room Ser Perth had gotten for them. They had been generously offered rooms in the Tower, but they'd declined because neither would have felt comfortable in such a place. Anders stories were hard to dismiss. They turned the corner and saw the knight standing outside the private room next to theirs. "The prince is tucked away safe and sound for the night I take it?" Sebastian asked.

"Yes, your highness," Perth nodded. "I have arranged for others to take over throughout the night. They will make sure he stays safe."

"Very good, have a good night," Liam nodded at him and continued on and into their room. He closed the door behind them and then stepped into his prince's arms. "Ah, complete privacy at last. I've been looking forward to this."

"Then let's not waste another moment, shall we," Sebastian's grin was just a little bit wicked as the tumbled to the bed.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

"Okay, time to stop for the night," Liam called out as he drew rein. That morning, the third day of their visit to the Circle, a rider had come from Redcliff with an urgent summons. The king wanted him to escort the prince to Denerim immediately. He'd also requested the presence of the First Enchanter. So here they were, on the road travelling as fast as possible.

"Full camp or no, Serrah Hawke?" Ser Perth asked.

"Just bedrolls," Liam answered as he dismounted. He continued to bark out orders to the men with them, ignoring the moans and groans from his less travel experienced companions. Sebastian, Fenris and Merrill smoothly moved into action, quickly preparing fire pits and dinners, just like they had so many times in the past.

"This isn't the first time they've done this," Lena noted as she stretched her sore muscles. She wasn't used to riding so much, or at such a pace, and felt a brief flash of irritaion towards the king. "I swear, if this turns out to be something minor, I'll turn Alistair into a toad."

"Now, now, it's not that bad," Bradley admonished. "Still, one wonders what has happened. Perhaps the Orlesian forces are closer than anticipated. Or better yet, they've turned around and are marching home."

"I doubt the later would warrant such urgency," Liam shook his head. "My guess would be that there's a new problem arising that requires our immediate attention."

"You don't think that it's related to your relationship with Anders?" Sebastian worried. It had taken him a long time to put aside his hostility and win the warrior back. He didn't want to lose him now.

Liam reached out and placed his palm against Sebastian's cheek. "I won't let anything come between us again. Besides, I seriously doubt it has anything to do with us personally."

"The most likely case is that the Orlesians are closer than expected," Perth spoke up. "The weather has been near perfect for marching and they probably made excellent time coming over the mountains."

"Alright, we'll be getting up before dawn and travelling well past sunset," Liam informed the group. "That means no lingering over supper. Ser Perth, you and Reginald can take first watch tonight, and Sebastian and I will take second."

"Hawke-" Fenris began to protest.

"It will take us at least three more days to reach Denerim," Liam held up a hand. "You'll take first watch with Merrill tomorrow night, and Lena will take second with Bradley. That'll be the pattern until we reach the city."

"Too bad we sent the men-at-arms back to Redcliffe," Sebastian said ruefully. "It's been a while since I've had to follow camp rules."

"Think of it as good practice for the upcoming war," Liam said, chuckling as the prince made a rude gesture.

Leyton took his seat next to them, yawning widely. "I don't think I like this forced marching stuff."

"Your father didn't like it either when we had to do it during the Blight," Perth told him. "Complained the whole way until Morrigan threatened to turn him into a toad. Drevan agreed to hold him down while she did it. He kept his mutterings to a low rumble after that."

"You talk about the Hero and my father like they were your best friends," Leyton squinted at the knight across the fire.

"Not friends, more like comrades in arms," Perth shook his head. "When you go through a battle like that, it forms a bond unlike any other. You've shed blood together, faced down the enemy together, relied on one another to have your back. No matter where life takes you, you never lose that bond."

"But still, this is the king you're talking about," Lena said, a frown marring her brow. "I don't think it's right to speak so informally about him."

Leyton laughed at that, "My father would be the first to agree with Ser Perth. He knows that many people speak of him that way and he doesn't care. He wasn't raised to be king and doesn't stand on ceremony except when holding court or entertaining foreign dignitaries."

"What was it like travelling with Drevan?" Lena looked over at Perth.

The knight shrugged, "Don't really remember anything special about it. 'Course, we were mostly focused on the upcoming battle in Denerim."

Lena sighed, "I knew him when we were apprentices. My tutor was Wynne, his was Irving's. Everyone always talked about Drevan, even the other enchanters. He was a star pupil, one with more magical talent in his little fingers than half of us had in our whole bodies. The only other one who was as talented was Anders, and despite the differences in their ages, they were friends."

"So Drevan knew Anders before the Grey Wardens?" Liam asked.

"After Anders escaped the last time, Drevan drew closer to Irving's other apprentice, Jowan," Lena shook her head sadly.

"You sound like that was a bad thing," Fenris stated.

"Jowan is the reason Drevan is with the Wardens," Lena told them. Seeing their interest she told them what she knew. "It was before the battle at Ostagar. Duncan had come to the circle seeking more mages and possibly a new recruit. All of us who'd been Harrowed were hoping to be chosen."

"Andraste's tits, why would you want to be a Warden?" Liam scowled. "That's-"

Sebastian reached out and placed a hand on his arm, slanting a look at the boy sitting next to them. Seeing that Liam got the message he nodded to Lena. "You were saying?"

"Grey Wardens are heroes and everyone knew there was a blight," she continued, though she couldn't hide her curiosity about Liam's objection. "It wasn't often that a mage was chosen to join their ranks and there was no telling when the next opportunity would arise."

"So what did this Jowan do that was so bad?" Merrill asked.

"He had been dallying with an initiate and practicing Blood Magic," Lena said softly, wincing at the gasps that drew out of everyone.

"You have blood mages in the Circle?" Fenris growled.

"No!" she retorted fiercely. "He was discovered and was sentenced to be made Tranquil by Gregoir. Even being Irving's apprentice could not save him from that fate. But, he convinced his girlfriend Lily and his best friend Drevan that it was all lies and that he needed help escaping. Suffice it to say that they figured out how to get into the Repository where the apprentice phylacteries were kept."

"He destroyed his phylactery and escaped?" Bradley goggled, impressed by the feat.

"Yes and no," Lena shook his head. "Irving and Gregoir were waiting for them when they emerged from the Tower's basement. Gregoir had thought Lily was Jowan's thrall. When he realized that she was complicit, he looked like someone had punched him in the gut."

"You were there?" Sebastian asked.

"I and a few others had followed them," Lena nodded. "Life at the Circle was so regulated and controlled and seldom very exciting. We couldn't help but be curious. Anyway, Gregoir ordered that Lily be arrested and taken to Aeonar, the mage's prison. Jowan wasn't about to let that happen." She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. "He used blood magic to overcome the guards and then pleaded with Lily to go with him. She was horrified, as were we, and told him to stay away from her. He fled the tower."

"What happened to those he attacked?" Merrill said softly.

"Fortunately, Jowan wasn't very good with such magic and only knocked them out," Lena answered. "Drevan was devestated. He was a newly harrowed mage and he'd thrown all the rules out the window for a friend only to discover that friend had lied. I think he would have agreed to whatever punishment Gregoir had come up with, but Duncan stepped in before it came to that. He basically conscripted Drevan to the Wardens."

"I would say that it was lucky for Ferelden that it turned out that way, considering what came later," Sebastian pointed out.

"Yes, lucky for Drevan too," Lena nodded. "Helping a blood mage, no matter the reason, is very harshly punished. At the very least he faced solitary confinement for a minimum of three months."

Liam couldn't hide the shudder as he remembered what Anders had told him about similar punishments passed on him. "Harsh, but still a better fate than being forced to become a Grey Warden."

"That's the second time you've implied that being a Warden is a bad thing," Lena said hotly.

"My dad's a Warden," Leyton's said, worrying his lower lip.

The prince's words halted any further argument. Perth cleared his throat, "Seeing as how we're finished eating, perhaps we should get some rest. We have an arduous journey ahead of us. Come, your highness, you need to get some sleep," he pulled the boy up and led him away casting a sharp look over his shoulder at Liam and Lena.

"That sounds like an excellent plan," Sebastian agreed as he stood and pulled Liam up with him. "Come dear, you need your beauty sleep. Can't have you all grouchy and sullen tomorrow."

Lena stopped them and said for their ears only, "We will ride together tomorrow and you will explain what you have against the Wardens." She turned and went to her own bedroll without waiting for a response.

Liam watched her go with a scowl on his face before allowing Sebastian to pull him over and down onto their bedrolls. He saw Merrill and Fenris settling down with their backs to each other. He knew how tiring riding a horse was when you weren't used to such things. He knew the two elves had to be exhausted and he had given them a pass on nightwatch for that reason. He turned to find Sebastian watching him with a very serious frown on his face. "What?"

"I know you have very good reason to despise the Grey Wardens," the prince retorted. "However, here in Ferelden they are heroes. Furthermore, the boy looks up to his father. It is for King Alistair to tell the boy certain things."

"It's still a sore subject with me," Liam growled.

"I know," Sebastian pulled him back and wrapped his arms tight around the warrior, burying his face in Liam's neck. "But, you still should not have spoken so openly about it. Now Lena will be demanding answers and you will not be able to just brush her questions aside."

"I should have bitten my tongue," Liam whispered. "I promised both Anders and Bethany that I would keep their secret. There's no way I can keep that promise now."

Sebastian hesitated only briefly before saying, "I never agreed with that decision. What you know, what you learned in the Vinmark mountains, could have repercussions for the future of Thedas. What they were doing was wrong on so many levels, yet their secrecy and neutrality will see to it that nobody else ever learns of it until it is too late. But, I respected your decision to keep silent and I respect that you don't want to break a promise to your loved ones."

"One of whom is dead and the other gone to Maker knows where," Liam whispered, his voice sad.

"Lena does seem to be an honorable woman," Sebastian continued. "She wouldn't have been made First Enchanter if she sucked at politics, so it stands to reason that she would be willing to keep what you tell her quiet until such time as it becomes necessary for others to know."

"Which may be never," Liam acknowledged, "or next week."

"So, tomorrow you tell her what she wants to know, out of earshot of Prince Leyton," Sebastian told him. "But now, it's time for us to sleep or we won't be able to stay awake on our watch." He closed his eyes, and tried to relax his body and mind. He hated forced marches and camp discipline too, though he'd never tell the boy that.

In the wee hours of the morning, they ate quickly and struck camp. By unspoken agreement, Perth made Leyton rid next to him behind the two elves, who were once again sharing a mount, and Reginald. Bradley rode next to Sebastian and behind Lena to make sure he could intervene if the conversation between her and Liam got too heated. She may be First Enchanter, he thought, but she was still human and subject to their faults and failings.

Sebastian could tell by the set of Liam's shoulders that he was already tensing up and the questioning hadn't even started yet. He wished there was some way he could protect the man he loved from this, but there wasn't. He would have to watch and be prepared to intervene if necessary.

"Okay cousin," Lena said quietly. "You obviously know something about the Grey Wardens that has tarnished your opinion of them."

"What makes you think I ever had an untarnished opinion of them?" Liam retorted.

"You're Ferelden," she answered as if that was explanation enough.

Perhaps it was, he thought. "A few years ago some dwarves came hunting my sister and me. The fact that they went after her when she was with the Wardens gave me cause for concern. Nobody goes after the Wardens on a whim. That's just plain suicide. Going after me in Hightown where the guard patrols were most prevelant was just as idiotic. So I had Varric look into it."

"Who is this Varric person?" Lena asked. "How do you know him?"

"He's the head of house Tethras of the Merchant's Guild of Kirkwall," Liam answered. "And let's just say he has his fingers in many different pots and leave it at that."

"That name sounds familiar," Bradley frowned in thought. "I think he's an author?"

"Oh, now I remember," Lena giggled. "He writes those romance novels, the smutty ones that have been making the rounds at the Circle."

"Yes, he's a famous author," Liam grimaced and shot a glare at Sebastian when he snickered. Seeing the curious looks from the others he hastily changed the subject. No need for them to know the source of the dwarf's story ideas. "Anyway, Varric checked it out and discovered they were looking specifically for members of the Hawke family. He found their base of operations in the Vinmark mountains. So my sister and I went there with him and Anders."

"So this was before the destruction of the Chantry then," Lena stated, curiosity shining in her eyes.

"Yeah, but that subject is not up for discussion," Liam growled.

"Cousin, all we've heard here in Ferelden is second hand," she protested. "Surely-"

"NO!" he glared at her. Ignoring her scowl, he continued with his story. "As I was saying, we got there and found a secret Grey Warden prison that these dwarves were occupying. All we could get out of them before we killed them all was that they were looking for the blood of my father. Of course, we had no idea then what they truly meant."

"A Warden prison?" Bradley interrupted. "I've never heard of anything like that."

"There's a lot about the order that people know nothing about," Liam said grimly. "Turns out that a long time ago, the Wardens came across an intelligent darkspawn the likes of which even they'd never heard of. They weren't able to kill it so they imprisoned it."

"A darkspawn they couldn't kill?!" Sebastian gasped. "But that's why their order exists."

"That's what they claimed, but what happened down there makes me doubt that even now," Liam scowled at the memory. "At any rate, I learned that my father Malcolm had been coerced into helping them seal the creature in the prison. The Wardens promised to help him and my mother escape to Ferelden if he helped them. If he didn't, they threatened to expose him as a blood mage."

"Your father was a blood mage?" Bradley exclaimed. Seeing the others quickly glance behind him he lowered his voice, "I never got the sense of that whilst your family was in Lothering."

"Blood Magic is forbidden," Lena said in horror. "How can the Wardens justify its use?"

"News flash," Liam sneered, "they don't care about other people's rules. They will use any means necessary, condone any act no matter how vile, as long as the darkspawn remain tucked away in their underground lairs."

The others were all silent as they pondered this information. Sebastian thought he better understood the changes that had come over Hawke in those last years in Kirkwall. "That was the darkness I could see in you, this knowledge of what they'd done."

"Yeah, and it gets better," Liam snorted, his tone implying the opposite. "Turns out that there's this thing they term the Calling. Wardens can hear the darkspawn and as they near the end of their lives they suffer horrible nightmares. At this point they head to the Deep Roads to die in battle against the Darkspawn. Anders told me that he wasn't going to do that because of his dislike of cramped spaces and being alone. He had a formula for a powerful poison that he planned to use when the time came."

"Suicide is a sin against the Maker," Bradley frowned and Sebastian echoed that sentiment.

"It's still a better option than going slowly insane," Liam snarled. "We met a Warden down there that had gone through his Calling a thousand years before and had not died!"

"How is that possible?" Lena frowned.

"Perhaps because of the Ritual new recruits go through," Liam growled. "The man we met had once been a Commander of the Grey and knew about it. The ritual involves magic and darkspawn blood. He told us that even the Wardens didn't fully understand how it worked. But, he believes that something in the taint kept him alive long past his time. And he was crazy and sore ridden, hideous to look at. Bethany cried for a long time and her bitterness towards me was renewed for a while."

"So you're saying that the Warden abilities stem from Blood Magic," Sebastian scowled.

"I guess it technically isn't because it doesn't come from demons," Liam said sullenly.

"Just because it doesn't come from demons doesn't mean it's not evil or wrong," Bradley said softly.

"So this old Warden is still alive?" Lena prompted.

"No, but I'll get to that in a minute," Liam told her. "The reason the dwarves came after us is because that ancient darkspawn that was imprisoned there had woken up and begun to influence them. He also had begun to influence some Wardens as well. Since it was Hawke blood that was used to imprison him, only Hawke blood could free him. That's what they wanted one of us for."

"But, you didn't do it did you?" Sebastian asked.

"Of course not!" Liam scowled back at him. "We found the creature's lair and killed him, though it wasn't easy. Before we did though, it made some claims that greatly upset Anders for it seemed to give truth to the Chantry claims of how the darkspawn came into being."

"Are you saying that the story of the Magisters entering the Golden City is true?" Lena gasped. "I thought it was just Church dogma."

"So did Anders," Liam nodded. "This creature kept asking after the old god Dumat and claimed to be a Magister from Tevinter by the name of Corypheus. He kept talking about a campaign to capture the Golden City and rule over all as a living god. He wanted us to bow down and worship him. He seemed to have no idea that time had moved on."

"So you're saying he was what, a Magister and a Darkspawn?" Sebastian asked in clear disbelief.

"That is what he looked to be, yes," Liam nodded. "Well, we weren't having any of his nonsense so there was a big battle and I was the one to deliver the killing blow. Afterwards, the old Warden faded out of existence. He had seemed as real and solid as any of us, but he vanished like a ghost. We speculated that he was somehow being held in our world by Corypheus and the creature's death released him. But, we'll never really know for sure. Bethany swore to get answers from the Wardens."

"And did she?" Lena asked. "Get answers that is."

"No, other things came up afterwards," Liam shook his head. "But at least she forgave me again. And I forgave Anders for not telling me in the first place. If I had known all of this before Bethany got tainted in the Deep Roads, I probably would have given her a peaceful death instead."

"Now it makes sense why they keep the process of becoming a Grey Warden a secret," Sebastian mused. "If people knew, they'd never get volunteers and would be forced to conscript people all the time."

"Anders was conscripted," Liam told them. "It was either join the Wardens or be taken back to the Circle where he most likely would have been made Tranquil. At least amongst the Wardens his magical talent was put to good use."

"Tranquility is not used on Harrowed mages," Lena said confidently.

"Actually, it was used in the Gallows all the time," Liam told her, his voice harsh. "Any mage who spoke out against abuses by Templars, whether Harrowed or not, was made Tranquil. Any mage who spoke too loudly about rights or freedoms was made Tranquil. Kirkwall had more Tranquil than all other Circles combined and most were treated as little better than slaves. This knowledge was kept from both Meredith and Orsino somehow."

"I can't believe they allowed such abuses," Bradley shook his head.

"Meredith and Orsino were too busy fighting with each other to see what was going on under their noses," Liam snarled. "And Elthina did nothing but stand around and pray to the Maker." He heard a noise of protest from Sebastian and turned to him. "The Templar Order are the militant arm of the Chantry and thus are answerable to the Divine. The Circles are also answerable to the Chantry and thus the Divine. As Grand Cleric, Elthina could have written to the Divine and asked for replacements to be sent to Kirkwall. She chose to do nothing."

"Even if she had written to Val Royeux it doesn't mean the Divine would have done anything," Sebastian protested.

"Well, the Divine felt concerned enough about the situation to send her little errand girl to the city, remember?" Liam asked caustically. "Elthina brushed off that concern and chose to sit back and wait. Of course, with the Divine sanctioning war with Ferelden now, perhaps she would have approved of Meredith's actions and we'd still be right where we are today."

They fell into an uncomfortable and angry silence. Liam turned his attention back to the rode and fumed. Remembering those final few months in Kirkwall brought all the old pain and frustration back to the surface once more. How dare Sebastian still try to justify her actions? He constantly harped on Liam to view Anders actions without the filter of emotions. That worked both ways didn't it?

Sebastian motioned Lena to move back so he could ride next to Liam. He saw the warrior's set face and sighed quietly. Reaching out, he grasped Liam's hand and held it tight even as the man tried to take it back. "I'm sorry love," he apologized. "I can't expect you to acknowledge Anders wrongdoings if I'm not willing to hold someone I love to the same standard. She was like a mother to me and I loved her deeply. I'd always heard that love was blind. I guess now I know just how true that statement is."

"Too many people turned a blind eye, myself included, and look where it got us," Liam husked. "Ferelden is on the brink of war with Orlais. Mages and Templars are fighting each other all over Thedas. Circles have either fallen or have been abandoned. Anders tried for years to get those in power to make changes and was rebuffed or ignored. In the end he felt he was left with no alternative and this is the result. We can't afford to turn a blind eye anymore."

"You're right," Sebastian nodded. "We have to try to set things right again, if we can."

"Well, it starts here in Ferelden," Liam said. "Maybe we can stem the tide even if we can't turn it."

The others had been quiet, letting them settle their differences, but now Lena spoke up. "I wonder how much the King knows about the Joining and all the other things you've told us about the Grey Wardens? I mean, he must know about his shortened life span at the least since he was aware of the problems Wardens have fathering children."

"If you want to ask him, be my guest," Liam turned to her. "Personally, I think the more who know about it, the better off the world will be."

"You know, we never heard about half of what you mentioned happened in Kirkwall," Bradley said. "Most of what we've heard has been gathered second hand or worse. It may be that the King wishes to hear from you about the true events of Kirkwall. I'm sure he's heard whatever the Chantry version is."

"I'd be willing to talk about it," Liam said. Seeing the concern in Sebastian's eyes he said reassuringly, "It gets easier with each telling."

"Well, I don't know about you but I'm hungry," Lena told them. "And I can hear the others getting a little restless. Perhaps now is a good time to stop for a bite."

"All right, but leave the horses saddled, just loosen the cinches," Liam drew rein at the side of the road and walked his horse onto the grass. "We'll rest for half an hour and then continue on," he called back to the others as he dismounted.

"Can I ride with you again?" Leyton asked as he came to a stop in front of Liam. "That is if you're done with your grown up conversation."

"Yes, we're done, so you can ride with me after lunch," Liam smiled at the boy. As they sat and ate lunch, he quietly listened to the boy prattling about anything that caught his fancy. Feeling eyes on him, he looked up and saw Sebastian watching with a slight smile on his face. He wondered about it, but didn't find out the reason until they were once more on the road.

"You have so much to offer a child," Sebastian said softly. "We will have to look into either using a surrogate or adopting an orphan baby or something."

"With all the fighting and the upcoming war with Orlais, I fear there will be no end of orphans to choose from," Liam replied just as softly. "Do you truly want kids? Because I do, but only if you want them just as much."

"I think I would make a good father," Sebastian nodded. "I spent a great deal of time with those children left in the care of the Chantry. I never minded looking after them the way some of the other brothers did."

"I've watched you with the prince Liam," Bradley looked over his shoulder to where the boy was talking with Lena as they rode side by side. "Both you and Sebastian would make great parents. A loving home is more important than anything else to a child and that's something you can provide."

"We still have to clear up the mess with Orlais before we even entertain the idea of a family," Liam shrugged.

Sebastian hid his smile at how badly Liam disguised how much he liked the idea of a family. Maker willing, the war would be over quickly and they would be able to settle down and put their painful past behind them. A home, a family, and peace in the land. What more could any man want?


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

The party reached Denerim shortly before noon on the fourth day, their bodies slumped in the saddles of their weary horses. They were stopped at the gates only long enough for their escort to join them. Hawke and Sebastian rode in front, behind the two soldiers assigned to them. Leyton was riding right behind them with Ser Perth on one side and Lena on the other. Merrill had been tasked with riding on Leyton's horse for extra security. Behind them came Reginald and Ser Bradley, and finally Fenris at the rear where he would have room to move quickly if necessary. Even though Ferelden was fairly quiet and peaceful, there was the possibility of insurgents or some rogue element making an attempt to get to the boy. As the Crown Prince, he was a valuable bargaining tool. Hawke held no illusions about the Orlesians and the lengths they would go to in order to win back what they lost. The boy was vulnerable when on the crowded streets of the city.

Because it was a market day, the streets were more crowded than usual and it took them some time to make their way through the city to the palace. As Hawke got his first look at it, he marveled at its simplicity. It was big enough, but he could imagine how snobs such as the Orlesians or even Kirkwall's nobility would look down their noses at it. Even the Viscount's keep was more grand looking. But, he decided he liked the fact that it had been kept the same for centuries, that someone hadn't decided to build something bigger or more extravagant. It fit the people it watched over.

They were ushered through the gates without delay and greeted by the seneschal as they dismounted and allowed several stable boys to take their mounts. "In King Alistair's name, I welcome you to Denerim Palace," the man bowed slightly to them. "And welcome home your highness," he bowed deeper to Leyton. "Your father has requested that you see him upon arrival."

"Come your highness, I will escort you to him," Ser Perth said. "You will have plenty of time to visit with them later," he told the boy as Leyton looked disappointed to be leaving the party.

"First Enchanter, your usual rooms have been prepared," the seneschal bowed to her.

"I will see you at supper then cousin," Lena said before heading off with Ser Bradley.

"The king has asked me to arrange rooms for you to use during your stay. I will take you there now so you might freshen up from your journey. If you would please follow me," the seneschal motioned to the rest of them.

Hawke saw that the interior matched the exterior. There were simple tapestries and some plants scattered around, but little else. The wall sconces were brass, the chandeliers simple iron with ordinary candles. A single carpet ran the length of the hall they were in. They followed the seneschel to the second floor where he stopped at the second door in.

"This is to be your room Serrah Hawke," he waived his hand. "There is a room off the kitchen for your servants," he added with a slight sniff in the direction of the two elves.

"Fenris and Merrill are my companions, not my servants," Hawke growled, his brows coming down. "They are to be treated as honored guests or we'll go find lodging elsewhere and the king can come to visit us."

"Ser Reginald is my body servant and as such must remain with me," Sebastian too was frowning as he peered into the room. "As Prince of Starkhaven," he said with an air of pompousness, "I am used to luxurious accomodation for myself and my partner." He looped his arm around Liam and smirked at the little man. "This room is far too small. It looks like something a lowly Bann would be given."

The seneschal paled slightly and swallowed hard and then cleared his throat. "Please follow me sers," he reluctantly motioned them to what appeared to be a sitting room. "Please, rest here while I make some arrangements. Refreshments will be brought for you."

"What a thoroughly annoying little toad," Merrill snorted as the man scurried out. "I find it odd that no one told him just who was coming."

"He probably was simply told that Prince Leyton was being escorted back to the palace and to prepare rooms for those with him," Reginald mused. "Men like him, puffed up with their own importance, seldom think outside the box or ask questions."

"After traveling with Hawke for so long, I'd forgotten how elves are viewed by most others," Fenris sneered. "Despite the Hero of Ferelden being an elf, the people here still see an elf and automatically think servant, regardless of how they're dressed."

"Don't let it get to you," Liam soothed. "He knows better now and I imagine that he will pass the word to the other castle staff. There should be no further problems. But, if you do experience any, bring it to my attention and I will inform the king. King Alistair is reputed to not be one to stand on ceremony and I'm sure he will not have any guests, no matter their race or position, disrepsected."

"I have every intention of mentioning this to him when we see him," Sebastian said firmly. "I have never been treated in such a fashion. It is the responsibility of the Seneschal of any keep or palace to determine the nature of their guests and make arrangements accordingly. Without being told to do so."

"But King Alistair wasn't born to his position," Reginald pointed out. "As such, he might not be aware of such matters, or rely too much on others to inform him of such things."

"That is why I intend to discuss the matter with him," Sebastian repeated, ignoring Liam's sigh.

"You know, it might be best if we keep to our room while we're here," Merrill's voice was quiet.

"You will not hide in your room," Liam said firmly. "You and Fenris are free citizens and my friends as well as friends of Prince Leyton. If anyone is stupid enough to mistreat you, I assure you the king will hear of it and I will make sure the offenders are dealt with accordingly, no matter how high ranking they are," this last was growled out even as his hand touched his sword.

"He is right Merrill," Fenris nodded. "We never hid while in Kirkwall, nor while we travelled through Ferelden. We will not start now simply because some puffed up servant looked down his nose at us." He then looked pointedly at Hawke's hand where it rested on the hilt. "However, I think physical force might not be the best way to handle any such insults."

"Yes, love," Sebastian said soothingly as he took Liam's hand off the sword. "We have not so much gold that we can afford to compensate families for the loss of a loved one."

Liam took a couple of deep breaths and relaxed his shoulders a bit. "I guess I'm just more on edge than usual. Mostly because of not knowing why the king summoned us so suddenly."

"I saw no sense of urgency amongst the people as we rode through the city," Fenris mused. "Nor was there any evidence of extra troop movement or training. If the nearness of the Orlesian army was the reason for the summons, then I would have expected to see such things."

"What if he wants to discuss the events in Kirkwall?" Merrill's said softly.

"Are you asking if I will be able to handle talking about it now?" Liam arched a brow and saw her nod. He didn't answer right away, wanting to really think about it.

"I don't intend to let you face such a thing alone," Sebastian said firmly.

"You know, I think I'll be okay now," Liam smiled at him. "The pain won't go away altogether, but each day that passes sees it diminishing."

"Your rooms are ready," the seneschal had returned while they were talking. "Follow me please."

They did so, this time going back down the hall and then upstairs to the third floor. The decorations up here were more elaborate than on the first couple and so was the first room they were led to. "This is to be your room," he bowed slightly to Fenris and Merrill."

The two elves stepped through and were pleasantly surprised to see the rooms generous appointments. "This is very much like the room you reserved for me at the Amell estate Hawke," Fenris said with one of his rare smiles.

Liam turned to the seneschal, who took a couple of quick steps back, a little unnerved by the man towering over him. He held back a snicker at the little man's reaction. Yeah, it was a little childish, but oh so worth it. "I can't wait to see what you have waiting for Sebastian and me."

The seneschal nodded nervously and led the way to a door a little further down, followed closely by Liam, Sebastian and Reginald. He opened the door and waived them forward, then stood anxiously in the hall as they surveyed the room. He had made a grevious error in not inquiring about who those accompanying Prince Leyton and the First Enchanter. After verifying that the man in the white armor was indeed who he said he was, he had hurried to fix up the finest room left in the palace. He only hoped his efforts were not in vain. Pissing off royalty led to very shortened careers for those responsible.

Sebastian couldn't hide his grin as he took in the luxurious appointments of the suite. The sitting area had a couple of settees covered in royal blue velvet with white and blue satin pillows. The floor was covered in what he recognized as a hand woven Orlesian rug. There were two chairs covered in the same fabric as the settees at angles to a large stone fireplace in which a merry fire was burning.

"Your Highness, there appears to be two bedrooms and a bathing chamber as well," Reginald told him as he came back into the sitting area. "There is even a dwarven made boiler in there as well."

"That was one of the things I missed most about the Amell estate," Liam said wistfully. "Being able to have a hot bath whenever I wanted one."

Sebastian walked over and wrapped his arms around Hawke. "When this is all over and we have the time to settle down, I'll build you as big a house as you want complete with a bathing chamber and dwarven heating system."

"Now that's what I call an offer that can't be refused," Liam chuckled and then pulled away and headed toward the maste bedroom. "I hope we'll have the opportunity to get some rest. I'm exhausted."

"I hope the room pleases," the seneschal interrupted nervously.

"It does, thank you," Sebastian nodded.

The seneschal opened his mouth to speak but stopped as a page hurried up and handed him a note. He read it quickly and then turned to his guests. "The king wishes all of you to rest and relax before dinner. Afterwards, he wishes to speak at length with you. Dinner will be in about three hours."

"Thank you, that will be all," Reginald ushered the man to the door and closed it behind him. "Shall I draw you a bath?" he asked Sebastian.

"Is the tub big enough for two?" Liam asked, a wicked gleam in his eye.

"For two elves, yes," Reginald said straight-faced. Seeing the disappointment on Liam's face he snickered, "You're almost too big for the tub they have in there."

"Didn't you tell me that you had your tub at the Amell estate custom made?" Sebastian asked.

"Yeah," Liam nodded with a sigh. "Been that way for most of my life. So, how are we going to decide who gets to go first?"

A knock on the door stopped Sebastian from answering. Opening the door showed him a bevy of servants in the hall carrying their belongings. He stepped aside to allow them inside to place the baggage on the floor and then shooed them right back out. Reginald came out to help them sort the items, noting what would need to be pressed or cleaned.

"I will take your nicest garments down to the laundry and have them cleaned straight away so you'll have them for tonight," Reginald said as he gathered several items up.

"If we're going to be here for any length of time, we might want to see about getting some clothing made," Sebastian told Liam. "I noticed that you don't really have anything that would be considered suitable for court, and neither do I."

"I guess after years in the Chantry, you didn't have a princely wardrobe anymore," Liam noted.

"True," Sebastian agreed. "After the events in Kirkwall, clothing was one of the last things on my mind."

Another knock on the door had Liam going over to answer it this time. He found the seneschal outside with servants behind him carrying a very large tub. He stepped back and let them in. "A second tub is just what we needed," Liam nodded approvingly and was rewarded with a grateful smile from the seneschal.

"If there is anything else you require, please let me know immediately," the seneschal bowed.

"Actually, is there a clothier you can recommend?" Sebastian inquired.

"Yes, Celeste's Custom Couture," the little man replied. "She trained in Orlais and specializes in making Ferelden clothing with an Orlesian flair. When you are ready to visit her, I will have a servant show you the way to her store."

"Thank you, perhaps on the morrow," Sebastian said as he shooed them out. "Now, we should get cleaned up and then try to nap. I have a feeling it's going to be a long night."

When it was time for dinner, Liam and the others followed a servant through the palace to the dining room. Upon entering, they were enthusiastically greeted by Leyton as his father the king looked on indulgently.

"Hawke, father says I can sit next to you during dinner," the boy exclaimed, eyes alight with excitement. "And, he says I'm old enough now to sit in on discussion about politics and war and such."

"It is good that you're interested in such things," Sebastian spoke up. "Even though I was the third born child, I too learned such things because you never know when you will need the knowledge."

"Did you need it?" Leyton asked.

"That is a long story and must wait for another time," Sebastian said quietly.

"Leyton, don't hog our guests time," Alistair called out. "There are others here that want to say hello, no doubt." He motioned them forward and then turned to his other guests. "I believe you've met Drevan and Zevran before, yes?" he introduced the two elves and then turned to a red-headed woman. "And this is-"

"Leliana, or should I call you Sister Nightingale," Liam interrupted.

Seeing Alistair's confusion, Leliana chuckled. "Sorry, Alistair, but we met in Kirkwall once before."

"So, you're working for King Alistair now and not the Divine?" Sebastian asked suspiciously. He knew her type and he didn't like how she suddenly was here.

"That is something that will be discussed after dinner," Leliana answered. "It does make me happy to see two such powerful figures working side by side. We will need such leaders in the days to come."

"Yes, yes, good, good," Alistair waived his hand dismissively. "However, that is best discussed on full stomachs. So, let's eat."

They all sat down to a veritable feast. Unlike many of the dinners he'd attended in Kirkwall as one of it's nobles, he felt like he was eating with family. Zevran, Drevan, Leliana, and Alistair had all traveled and fought side-by-side during the blight. They shared stories from that time and told lots of jokes, most at Alistair's expense. Unlike most kings, Alistair laughed right along with them and even told some of his own. It reminded him of the rare times that he and Anders had their companions over for a night of Wicked Grace. He couldn't help feeling sad at the loss of such a thing.

Sebastian saw Liam become quiet and leaned over, "Are you alright?"

Liam shook his head to clear and conjured up a smile for him. "I just got lost in the memories of the past."

Sebastian frowned briefly before reaching for a bottle of wine. He filled both his and Liam's cup. "To the memories of what we lost and the possiblities of the future," he toasted quietly.

Liam saluted and drank. "Yes, we must look to the future."

"The future," Alistair said loudly. "That is indeed what we must discuss tonight, now that we seem to have eaten our fill. I suppose I should explain why I wanted you here in such a hurry. I know what a forced march is like and how it makes one weary."

"Your Majesty, shall I have the table cleared?" the seneschal asked.

"Yes," Alistair answered. "And make sure that any leftovers are sent to the orphanages both in Denerim and the Alienage."

"Of course, Your Majesty," the seneschal bowed and signaled the servants before leaving the room.

Once the servants had finished and left, Alistair bid them bring their chairs before the fireplace. He refilled their goblets, then took a chair and, spinning it around, straddled it. "I don't like standing on ceremony when there's no reason for it. This is not to be a formal meeting."

"Then perhaps you should explain what it is you want from me," Liam said bluntly.

"I'm sure you're aware of the approaching Orlesian army," Alistair began.

"Yes, we've heard how Empress Celene is using the events in Kirkwall to justify her waging war on Ferelden," Sebastian nodded.

"And we've heard that the Divine supports this war," Liam looked sideways at Leliana. "But, if that were true, then why would you be here Sister Nightingale?"

"To make sure that King Alistair knows the truth," she replied. "Alistair was my friend long before I served the Divine. It was with the help of him, Drevan and Zevran," she nodded to the two elves, "that I was freed from the woman who held my past against me. I owe them everything."

"And what is the truth Sister?" Liam's silver gaze pinned hers as surely as a hawk's does its prey.

"The Divine did not sanction this war and forbade Celene from supporting it," Leliana said firmly. "The Divine wants a peaceful solution to the Mage and Templar conflict. She cannot achieve this if individual countries use the conflict to wage war on each other."

"So her solution is to send a seeker to interrogate my friends about my whereabouts is it?" Liam sneered.

"Seeker Cassandra is the Left Hand of the Divine, and I am her Right Hand," Leliana responded amicably, not bothered by his hostility. "She told us to find a way to restore order and peace in Thedas. To do that, we felt we needed someone that everyone in Thedas could follow. We wanted a proven leader to rally the nations of Thedas to fight the greater threat."

"What are you talking about?" Sebastian frowned in confusion. He was not alone in that.

"I don't think there is any greater threat than mages fighting templars with innocent people being caught in the middle," Lena said abruptly. "It is only because the king listened to his friend, a mage and the Hero of Ferelden, that we have not had a similar uprising. However, with more mages seeking refuge in Ferelden, we face the war breaking out here."

"There is something else at work in Thedas," Drevan spoke up. "There has been unrest in the Grey Warden ranks. Myself and others have been attempting to determine what is causing it. So far, we've had no luck. Whatever it is, it could spell disaster for Thedas if another blight should arise and there were no Wardens to lead the fight."

"I didn't realize things were that bad amongst them," Alistair frowned.

"You are no longer a warden, my friend, but a king with a king's heavy responsibilities," Zevran said smoothly. "Alas, I wish that was all we need worry about. The crows have been very busy of late. Many contracts have been issued and executed in Orlais, Nevarra, Tevinter and even Starkhaven."

"What?!" Sebastian sat forward.

"That is a matter for another day," Leliana raised her voice, bringing sudden silence. "In answer to the Champion's question, the Divine gave her Hands a task and a writ authorizing us to act as we see fit to carry out that task. Cassandra's method may have seemed extreme, but please note that Varric was not harmed and he was released afterwards."

"Then they stumbled across me as I was traveling through the Free Marches," Drevan said with a slight smile. "Seeker Cassandra didn't like letting me go, but she had no wish to alienate her ally. However, Zevran happened to mention that the Champion's friends had sought passage to Ferelden and here we are."

"So, I came here only to find that someone in Orlais was waging war on Ferelden and claiming to be acting on the orders of the Divine," Leliana said angrily. "As this was patently untrue, I hurried to the palace to set the matter straight."

"While this is all very enlightening, I doubt that it's the reason we're here," Fenris said gruffly.

"Indeed," Alistair nodded. "We have discovered that the approaching army is marching under orders of some minor lords of Orlais who are followers of the Grand Duke Gaspard. Unlike his cousin the Empress, Gaspard hates Ferelden and everything it stands for. However, we have recently received an offer from the approaching army that brings in to question who is behind this attack and why."

"It is an offer that the nobles are demanding be considered," Leliana picked up the story. "The approaching army will be turned around and sent back to Orlais if Ferelden hands over the Champion and his demon possessed lover, the apostate mage Anders."

"Maker's breath, how did they know Liam was here?" Sebastian asked in dismay.

"I told you, the Crows have been very busy," Zevran reminded them. "Not all our contracts are for assassinations. Sometimes people just need experienced information gatherers."

"Yes, apparently so," Alistair's tone was sardonic. "Anyway, I wanted to hear your side of the story. I was impressed by you when we met in Kirkwall after the Viscount's death. After our meeting, I set about gathering information on you and your companions and what I found out only impressed me more. So, I want to hear everything that happened in Kirkwall in those final years."

"And why do you need to hear my side of the story?" Liam asked.

"Because I can't tell the nobles to sod off and tell the Orlesian army to stick it up their asses if I don't know both sides of the dispute," Alistair said cheerfully, a big grin on his face.

Liam couldn't help but laugh. "Well then Your Majesty, I suggest you call for more wine. It is going to take a while to relate it all."

Over the next few hours, Liam spoke of the events in Kirkwall, with input from the others. Then he spoke of what happened after they fled. He held nothing back, and consumed wine faster as he related the more painful parts. By the time he was finished, he felt raw, exposed like he'd not ever been before.

Alistair had remained silent all through the tale, asking no questions even though he had plenty. After a lenghty silence he sighed and then stood up and stretched. "Well, after all I've heard, I am convinced that you had no choice but to act as you did. I will tell the nobles that I have heard your side of things and determined that the Orlesians have no just cause to war on us and that I will not be handing you over."

"Then we are free to leave in the morning," Liam said, eliciting a protest from Drevan.

"Actually, Alistair was hoping you might consider staying on," he looked pointedly at the king.

"Ah, yes, well you see there are no great generals in Ferelden anymore," Alistair began. "Leading men against the darkspawn is quite a bit different from leading them against men. Darkspawn are not as intelligent or devious as people can be. They're predictable."

"I've never led an army either," Liam protested.

"But, you've faced more types of enemies than anyone here and have prevailed," Alistair retorted. "You've faced blood mages, assassins, pirates, Qunari, and even dragons. Each one of them required different tactics to defeat which you pretty much had to come up with on the spot. That is the kind of leadership we need and I was hoping that you would consider leading my army against the Orlesians."

"Alistair, you know that Cassandra and I-" Leliana began.

"Sorry Leli, but I need him," Alistair interrupted. "And even if I didn't, you can't force people to do what you want. And if you don't stop trying to coerce people, you'll end up creating more problems for yourself."

"If he agrees to lead the army, what reward will he get for the risk?" Sebastian asked. "And what will you do if he says no?"

"If you agree, I am prepared to grant you lands and a title," Alistair proclaimed. "The teynir of Gwaren to be exact."

"What?!" Sebastian exclaimed in shock. The others all goggled at the king.

"Anora is ailing and she has no children," Alistair told them. "She is no longer capable of ruling the lands and has written me to ask that I find someone worthy to hold the lands. As you know, they were granted by my father King Maric to Loghain Mac Tir after helping to drive the Orlesians out of Ferelden. Wouldn't it be grand if they were awarded once again to a great general?"

"And if I refuse?" Liam asked dryly.

"Well, I certainly wouldn't do anything to you," Alistair shrugged. "I would be very disappointed and so wouldn't Leyton."

Liam said nothing to that, merely stared at the fire as he finished his wine. "I'd like to think about your offer. We should still have some time left. How about I let you know in a couple of days?"

"Very well," Alistair tried to hide his disappointment at not getting a response right away.

"Oh cheer up," Zevran slapped him on the back. "He didn't say no, just not right now. We're off to bed as it has grown quite late. We'll see you all in the morning," he caught Drevan's eye. "Or in the afternoon perhaps," he finished with a leer.

They said their goodnights and retired to their rooms. It had been a very long day and Liam and Sebastian could do no more than strip to their smalls and collapse on their bed. Any decisions could wait until morning.


End file.
